Dirty Kiss by Rhys Ford Page B

how I am about guys and how they smell.”
     
    “Yeah, I know.” Bobby looked bemused, and I quirked an eyebrow at him.
     
    “What?”
     
    “It’s good to hear you talk about a guy. Nice to see you getting back out there.”
     
    “No… no.” If I’d shaken my head more, it would have fallen off. “I’m not interested. Hell, I don’t even plan on seeing him again for the rest of my life.”
     
    “Cole, he’s good-looking and made you laugh. What more do you want? You don’t have to marry the guy. Just go grab a burger or something and see where it goes.” The bar’s noise suddenly dropped, and Bobby leaned in closer, keeping his voice low. “It’s been a couple of years now. Almost three, yeah? Isn’t it time you started to look at guys, at least?”
     
    “I look at them all the time.” Protesting didn’t seem to help my cause. He just sat back and nodded at me like I was some wayward child he needed to save. “Hell, didn’t I just check out that kid at the bar?”
     
    “You looked at him like you were trying to decide if he was going to hold the place up.” A sip of beer left foam on Bobby’s mustache, and he licked it off with a swipe of his tongue. “Cole, you were never apologetic about who you were, and then after that thing with Rick, you shut down.”
     
    “I’m not ready. It’s too soon.” It was all I could give him. Not much, really, but it was all I had. Jae-Min had been pretty to look at and dangerous because he made me want. He kindled a thirst in me that I’d thought had died along with my lover, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to have that kind of desire back in my life. “Bobby, he was good-looking and exotic, but that’s the end of it. Something to share with a friend over a beer. Just a story.”
     
    “All I’m saying is, you should start doing something with yourself other than digging into other people’s problems.” He drained the rest of his beer, setting the mug down a little harder than he needed to. “Or pretty soon, all you’ve got left is those stories to tell and an empty house. Don’t make the same mistakes that I did. Live a little bit, kid, before there isn’t any more life left in you.”
     

Chapter 4
     

     
    Dorthi Ki Seu wasn’t like any other gay bar I knew. The first time I’d been there, I’d been amazed at how clean and, for lack of a better word, civil everything was. I’d been a part of a task force, a junior member but still apparently high enough up the food chain to warrant a field trip. It had been a good experience, and in more ways than one.
     
    Getting in was easy. There wasn’t a cover charge, although I got a thorough looking-at by the young man at the door. Stepping inside, I could see why I’d gotten such close scrutiny. If my light brown hair and height didn’t stand out, then the lack of business attire did me in. Dressed down at Dorthi Ki Seu meant taking off your suit jacket and hanging it from the back of the chair.
     
    The interior décor leaned heavily toward what I imagined a Victorian gentleman’s club looked like, expensive wall paneling and small clusters of leather chairs. There was a definite Asian flavor to the furnishings, discreet, tasteful, and at odds with other gay clubs I’d been to. I could barely hear the murmur of conversations around me, and the lighting was dimmed down to a nearly intimate level.
     
    Waiters attended to individual parties, sometimes a single man or, at other tables, a pair. The exclusively male crowd ignored me, a politeness I guessed was more cultural than lack of interest. I was lucky I’d found a table, even one as far from the stage as possible. The place was packed, and it showed no signs of letting up.
     
    I was quickly measured up by the white-shirted waiter who’d come to see what I wanted to drink. He was young, fresh-faced, and good-looking enough to make a man look twice. After staring at him for a moment, I realized I was comparing him to another Korean