Ditch by Beth Steel Page A

stuff called yer get from ’em?
    Mrs Peel Royal jelly.
    Burns Yeah, royal jelly. What d’yer say?
    Mrs Peel ( Becomes Mrs Peel . ) More work. But. Alright.
    Beat.
    Burns How come in all this time I never known your first name?
    Mrs Peel Cause I never told yer, Burns.
    Burns It’s Keith . . . Keith. Is it out a’ respect for a Mr Peel?
    Mrs Peel Are you drunk!
    Burns No.
    Mrs Peel ( Crouches down. ) Then stop talkin’ shit.
    Mrs Peel shoves potatoes into the sack, Burns crouches down before her.
    Burns ( Takes the sack. ) Why ruin what we got here?
    Mrs Peel ( Grabs the sack back. ) We aint got nothin’.
    Burns But we could have.
    Burns swoops Mrs Peel onto her back and arches over her like a dog.
    Mrs Peel Bleedin’ ‘ell fire and Jack!
    Burns Mrs Peel you got enough balls for ten men, can drink any man under the table, give a man as good as yer get, swear like a trooper, work harder than most a’ the men I know. And yet! You’ve got the bosom of a Goddess. ( Bends forwards. ) The carriage of an eagle. And I bet you’re packin’ as much heat in that cave a’ yours as the earth’s core. ( Bends forwards. ) That bein’ with you would be a hot and molten –
    Mrs Peel slaps Burns ’s face.
    Burns ( Strokes his cheek. ) How about you and me take a moonlight swim?
    Mrs Peel I could choke you.
    Mrs Peel bolts to her feet and Burns chases after her.
    Mrs Peel You wanna’ keep that dead squid a’ yours away from me!
    Burns I can assure you it’s alive !
    Mrs Peel grabs a shovel and threatens to clobber Burns with it.
    Mrs Peel It won’t be if you come any closer.
    Burns Why don’t you and me step inside and get to it?
    Mrs Peel I’d rather be under a rabid dog.
    Burns How about we just drop the lip on?
    Mrs Peel I’d rather be sat on the shitter with diarrhoea and toothache.
    Burns We could have ourselves a cuddle?
    Mrs Peel I’d rather . . . I got a tough enough life as it is without stavin’ off the advances of a sex maniac! ( From the gut. ) Now step away!
    Burns does.
    Mrs Peel I don’t know who you think you’re playin’ with.
    Burns I aint playin’.
    Mrs Peel walks away.
    Burns I’m sweet on you!
    Beat .
    Burns How about you and me go get your deer?
    Mrs Peel stops .
    Burns Tomorrow?
    Beat .
    Burns That a date?
    Beat .
    Mrs Peel I guess.
    Mrs Peel leaves .
    Scene Five
    Kitchen. Morning.
    Megan is folding a pile of washed and dried clothes and sheets.
Bug enters.
    Bug I been needin’ to talk to you too.
    Megan Me?
    Beat.
    Megan Why?
    Beat. Megan sees it in Bug ’s eyes. She grabs a sheet from the pile.
    Megan Give me a hand foldin’ these sheets?
    Bug looks at his stump.
    Megan We’ll just fold it best we can.
    Bug Can we sit down?
    Megan They so big we got a’ stand and do it.
    Megan gives some of the sheet to Bug to hold on to.
    Megan You keep hold a’ this here.
    Bug I need to tell you somethin’.
    Megan steps away from Bug .
    Megan I can hear you from here.
    Megan takes the corners and opens the stained sheet out.
    Megan Don’t know how these stains got here.
    Megan halves the width of the sheet.
    Bug It’s James.
    Megan halves the width of the sheet again.
    Megan I think it Burns.
    Megan halves the width of the sheet again.
    Megan He drink so much he must a’ been sick on ’em.
    Megan walks towards Bug and takes the sheet off him.
    Bug He’s dead.
    Megan halves the length of the sheet.
    Megan It gonna kill him one day.
    Megan halves the length of the sheet again.
    Bug Dint have no pain.
    Megan halves the length of the sheet again.
    Megan Bet his liver do.
    Megan folds the sheet, folds it again and again.
    Bug He talked about you –
    Megan Don’t.
    Beat.
    Megan Don’t say no more.
    Bug leaves. Megan holds the tightly folded sheet to her chest as if it were the dead’s flag. Mrs Peel enters, eyes Megan shaking from behind.
    Mrs Peel You