gripped him tight. The kid’s bare skin felt cold, his thin body, fragile. Jarrett had a flash of his brother as a little kid, following him around, trying to lift his weights, eat what he ate, do the things he did. He was torn between beating the shit out of the fifteen-year-old and hugging him till morning. In his other hand he still clutched the syringe so hard it almost cracked. ”You little idiot! I love you!”
His brother trembled and sobbed against his shoulder. “Dad doesn’t want me for a son. I didn’t think you wanted me for a brother.”
“What made you think that? Why would you ever think that?”
Frankie pulled back, sniffing and wiping at his eyes. “You’ve never been friends with guys like me, Jet. I remember you and your high school buddies making fun of us geeks, the brainy dorks who couldn’t do a single push-up. You don’t...you don’t like us.”
“Oh, Jesus, Frankie, that—that was just stupid, high school posturing, you know that! And I never—I didn’t mean you!”
Frankie smiled faintly and Jet flushed. It was a lame excuse.
“What brought this on anyway?” Jarrett asked.
His brother shrugged his thin shoulders. “You dumping Liddy and going back to Crissy.”
Jarrett shook his head, in part because he hadn’t done either, but also because he couldn’t make sense of that. “You lost me.”
“When you started dating Liddy…it’s hard to explain, but I felt such relief! She was totally different from the girls you’d always gone for, smart and cool, and she wanted you to be you, not just a jock. She made me think you’d changed your mind about us geeky types. But then Bobby said you were only dating Liddy to keep up your grades and—”
“What? Ah, crap! Bobby and his big, fucking mouth. That’s not true, Frankie.”
“Then why’d you dump her? I mean, she never comes over and you don’t call her and I don’t think she calls you.”
“Because I screwed up,” he growled, but in his mind he doubted. Was Frankie right? Had he run from Liddy because he couldn’t take that next step, because he didn’t want to introduce her to his friends? Because he was embarrassed by her glasses and intelligence? If he was, then he didn’t deserve her. He might as well hand her over to some paleontology major who could appreciate her brains. Yet, even as he considered that he felt a sudden, almost primal rage. He’d crush any fucking egghead who tried to take Liddy from him!
He blinked and took in a breath. Shit. This was no time for him to start acting like a Neanderthal. He refocused on his brother.
“We were talking about you, and this.” He held up the syringe.
His brother ducked his head. He looked more frail and vulnerable than ever, his scrawny chest exposed, his arms like toothpicks hanging down his sides. “It’s like Dad says, I’m a nerd. That’s my place, my niche. And I hate it and I want out. I want to be like you.”
“Well, I want you to be like you,” Jarrett retorted. “I know it’s cliché, but we can’t all be the quarterback. The game’s lost if all anyone on the team can do is throw the ball. It’s why humanity is so successful. Our species has a variety of talents.”
“I know that,” Frankie grudged. “But that doesn’t change how Dad feels about me and my talents. Or—or how you feel.”
“You think I’m ashamed of you? Well, I’m not. Not your brains or your lack of athletic ability. I like who you are, little brother, I really do, and I’m proud of you. Don’t you dare tell yourself otherwise. You understand?”
Frankie just nodded this time.
“Come on.” Jarrett moved them into the bathroom. He dumped the contents of the syringe down the toilet, then handed it to Frankie. “You break off the needle and throw the whole thing away. We don’t say anything to Dad. But if you ever even think to do something like this again, I will kick your ass from here to next Sunday. Got that?”
“Yeah.” Frankie chewed on
His brother trembled and sobbed against his shoulder. “Dad doesn’t want me for a son. I didn’t think you wanted me for a brother.”
“What made you think that? Why would you ever think that?”
Frankie pulled back, sniffing and wiping at his eyes. “You’ve never been friends with guys like me, Jet. I remember you and your high school buddies making fun of us geeks, the brainy dorks who couldn’t do a single push-up. You don’t...you don’t like us.”
“Oh, Jesus, Frankie, that—that was just stupid, high school posturing, you know that! And I never—I didn’t mean you!”
Frankie smiled faintly and Jet flushed. It was a lame excuse.
“What brought this on anyway?” Jarrett asked.
His brother shrugged his thin shoulders. “You dumping Liddy and going back to Crissy.”
Jarrett shook his head, in part because he hadn’t done either, but also because he couldn’t make sense of that. “You lost me.”
“When you started dating Liddy…it’s hard to explain, but I felt such relief! She was totally different from the girls you’d always gone for, smart and cool, and she wanted you to be you, not just a jock. She made me think you’d changed your mind about us geeky types. But then Bobby said you were only dating Liddy to keep up your grades and—”
“What? Ah, crap! Bobby and his big, fucking mouth. That’s not true, Frankie.”
“Then why’d you dump her? I mean, she never comes over and you don’t call her and I don’t think she calls you.”
“Because I screwed up,” he growled, but in his mind he doubted. Was Frankie right? Had he run from Liddy because he couldn’t take that next step, because he didn’t want to introduce her to his friends? Because he was embarrassed by her glasses and intelligence? If he was, then he didn’t deserve her. He might as well hand her over to some paleontology major who could appreciate her brains. Yet, even as he considered that he felt a sudden, almost primal rage. He’d crush any fucking egghead who tried to take Liddy from him!
He blinked and took in a breath. Shit. This was no time for him to start acting like a Neanderthal. He refocused on his brother.
“We were talking about you, and this.” He held up the syringe.
His brother ducked his head. He looked more frail and vulnerable than ever, his scrawny chest exposed, his arms like toothpicks hanging down his sides. “It’s like Dad says, I’m a nerd. That’s my place, my niche. And I hate it and I want out. I want to be like you.”
“Well, I want you to be like you,” Jarrett retorted. “I know it’s cliché, but we can’t all be the quarterback. The game’s lost if all anyone on the team can do is throw the ball. It’s why humanity is so successful. Our species has a variety of talents.”
“I know that,” Frankie grudged. “But that doesn’t change how Dad feels about me and my talents. Or—or how you feel.”
“You think I’m ashamed of you? Well, I’m not. Not your brains or your lack of athletic ability. I like who you are, little brother, I really do, and I’m proud of you. Don’t you dare tell yourself otherwise. You understand?”
Frankie just nodded this time.
“Come on.” Jarrett moved them into the bathroom. He dumped the contents of the syringe down the toilet, then handed it to Frankie. “You break off the needle and throw the whole thing away. We don’t say anything to Dad. But if you ever even think to do something like this again, I will kick your ass from here to next Sunday. Got that?”
“Yeah.” Frankie chewed on
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