mean?” “Just offer to do little things for her. Try to anticipate what she might be worried about getting done, and see if you can stay one step ahead of her.” He furrowed his brow. “I know this might sound crazy, but women equate being supported with being loved. So any way you can support her will make a difference.” “Can you give me an example?” “Sure. Take a minute to fold the towels instead of walking by the dryer a hundred times ignoring the little light that says the load is finished.” He parted his lips to speak- perhaps in his own defense- but closed his mouth again. “I know it doesn’t sound like much, but even a little thing like that will help her get ahead. Which will make her feel more relaxed. And trust me. She’ll know you helped her get ahead.” I pointed straight at him. “Don’t say anything about it. Don’t say hey did you notice I did this or that? She’ll notice.” “You really think that will make a difference?” “I do.” “I don’t mean to be difficult, but I don’t see how helping her with chores is going to fix my marriage?” “Because it will soften her. She’ll see that you're trying to be helpful even though she hasn’t been her best lately. And she’ll think Maybe he doesn’t want me to feel like a crazy bitch all the time.” “Of course I don’t want her to feel that way.” “See, you say that now. But how often does she ask you to do something more than once?” He shrugged. “A few times a week.” “And how do you think it makes her feel when she has to ask you a second time?” “I don’t know.” “Look at it this way. She probably does lots of things she doesn’t want to do all day long without making a big deal about it, right?” “I suppose.” “And compared to all the stuff she does around the house, she probably doesn’t actually ask for your help all that often.” “Probably not, no.” “So when she does and you make a big deal about doing whatever it is in your own sweet time, you don’t exactly come across as a team player. Or someone with a lot of respect for her time and breath.” "I guess I could see that." “Look at it this way. Let’s say you act annoyed and drag your feet when she asks you to help her with something.” “Sure.” “Well in her mind, that leaves her with two choices, right? She can nag you which makes her feel ugly and horrible and unsexy. Or she can just do it herself which makes her feel resentful and makes her wonder if she’d be better off without you.” “I didn’t know it was such a big deal.” “That’s okay. Women aren’t meant to be understood, just appreciated.” He squinted like he was trying to filter all the words I’d flung through the air into his brain. “You really think that will make a tangible difference?” “I promise that if you are more helpful and considerate, the dynamic between you will change for the better.” “Won’t I look like I’m whipped, though? I don’t want her to start taking advantage. Does that make sense?” “Yes it does, and I’m so glad you asked that. Being helpful is only the first part of the plan.” “What’s the second part?” “I want you to find your voice and start wearing the pants in the relationship again.” “What do you mean?” “What I mean is that I want you to boss Judy around the way you would if she were a slutty princess.” His whole face pinched around his nose. “Can you elaborate on that?” “Sure,” I said. “I want you to say stuff like: put on a dress, I’m taking you to dinner. If she admires something in a store, I want you to surprise her by buying it for her. And I want you to get her flowers for no reason other than the fact that they were so pretty they made you think of her .” “That’s a lot.” “I’m not suggesting you do them all at once,” I said. “I just want you to remember how you treated her when she was enchanting to you. I