conduct and dishonorable discharges; others have neither the physical nor mental capacity to successfully complete traditional basic training in the U.S. Army. After they pay large sums of money to slap mosquitoes at a mere training camp in the piney woods of north Florida, they have themselves tattooed with death heads and grandiloquently toast one another, usually in pecker wood accents, with the classic Legionnaire's paean to spiritual nihilism, “Vive la guerre, vive la mart. ”
Miami is full of them.
If you want to connect with them in the New Orleans area, you cross the river over to Algiers into a neighborhood of pawnshops and Vietnamese-owned grocery stores and low-rent bars, and visit Tommy Carrol's Gun & Surplus.
It was Sunday evening, and Helen Soileau and I were off the clock and out of our jurisdiction. Tommy Carrol, whom I had never met, was locking up his glass gun cases and about to close. He wojje baggy camouflage trousers, polished combat boots, and a wide-necked bright yellow T-shirt, like body builders wear. His shaved head reminded me of an alabaster bowling ball. He chewed and snapped his gum maniacally, his eyes flicking back and forth from his work to Helen and me as we walked in file between the stacks of survival gear, ammunition, inflatable rafts, knife display cases, and chained racks of bolt-action military rifles. “So I'm stuck again with me goddamn kids, that's what you're saying?” Helen said over her shoulder to me. She wore tan slacks, lacquered straw sandals, and a flowered shirt hanging outside her belt. She sipped from a can of beer that was wrapped in a brown bag. “Did I say that? Did I say that?” I said at her back. “You need something?” Tommy Carrol said. “Yeah, a couple of Excedrin,” I said. “Is there a problem here?” Tommy Carrol asked. “I'm looking for Sonny Boy MarsaJlus,” I said. “Don't tell us the herpes outpatient clinic, either. We already been there,” Helen said. “Shut up, Helen,” I said. “Did I marry Mr. Goodwrench or not?” she said. “What's going on?” Tommy asked, his gum snapping in his jaw. “Doesn't Sonny hang in here?” I said. “Sometimes. I mean he used to. Not anymore.”
“Helen, why don't you go sit in the car?” I said. “Because I don't feel like changing diapers on your goddamn kids.”
“I've been out of the loop,” I said to Tommy. “I'd like to get back to work.”
“Doing what?”
“Peace Corps. Isn't this the sign-up place?” I said. He arched his eyebrows and looked sideways. Then he made a tent on “his chest with the fingers of one hand. His eyes were like blue marbles. ”It makes you feel better to jerk my Johnson, be my guest,“
he said. ”But I'm closing up, I don't have any contact with Sonny, and
I got nothing to do with other people's family troubles.“ He widened his eyes for emphasis. ”This is the guy knows all the meres?“ Helen said, and brayed at her own irony. She upended her beer can until it was empty. ”I'm driving down to the store on the corner. If you're not there in five minutes, you can ride the goddamn bus home.“ She let the glass door slam behind her. Tommy stared after her. ”For real, that's your wife?“ he said, chewing his gum. ”Yeah.“
”What's your experience? Maybe I can help.“
”One tour in “Nam. Some diddle-shit stuff with the tomato pickers.” He pushed a pencil and pad across the glass countertop. “Write your name and number down there. I'll see what I can come up with.”
“You can't hook me up with Sonny?”
“Like I say, I don't see him around, you know what I mean?” His eyes were as bright as blue silk, locked on mine, a lump of cartilage working in his jaw. “He's out of town and nobody's missing him?” I smiled at him.
“You summed it up.”
“How about two guys who look like Mutt and Jeff?”
He began shaking his head noncommittally. “The short guy's got a fire hydrant for a neck. Maybe he did some work for Idi
Miami is full of them.
If you want to connect with them in the New Orleans area, you cross the river over to Algiers into a neighborhood of pawnshops and Vietnamese-owned grocery stores and low-rent bars, and visit Tommy Carrol's Gun & Surplus.
It was Sunday evening, and Helen Soileau and I were off the clock and out of our jurisdiction. Tommy Carrol, whom I had never met, was locking up his glass gun cases and about to close. He wojje baggy camouflage trousers, polished combat boots, and a wide-necked bright yellow T-shirt, like body builders wear. His shaved head reminded me of an alabaster bowling ball. He chewed and snapped his gum maniacally, his eyes flicking back and forth from his work to Helen and me as we walked in file between the stacks of survival gear, ammunition, inflatable rafts, knife display cases, and chained racks of bolt-action military rifles. “So I'm stuck again with me goddamn kids, that's what you're saying?” Helen said over her shoulder to me. She wore tan slacks, lacquered straw sandals, and a flowered shirt hanging outside her belt. She sipped from a can of beer that was wrapped in a brown bag. “Did I say that? Did I say that?” I said at her back. “You need something?” Tommy Carrol said. “Yeah, a couple of Excedrin,” I said. “Is there a problem here?” Tommy Carrol asked. “I'm looking for Sonny Boy MarsaJlus,” I said. “Don't tell us the herpes outpatient clinic, either. We already been there,” Helen said. “Shut up, Helen,” I said. “Did I marry Mr. Goodwrench or not?” she said. “What's going on?” Tommy asked, his gum snapping in his jaw. “Doesn't Sonny hang in here?” I said. “Sometimes. I mean he used to. Not anymore.”
“Helen, why don't you go sit in the car?” I said. “Because I don't feel like changing diapers on your goddamn kids.”
“I've been out of the loop,” I said to Tommy. “I'd like to get back to work.”
“Doing what?”
“Peace Corps. Isn't this the sign-up place?” I said. He arched his eyebrows and looked sideways. Then he made a tent on “his chest with the fingers of one hand. His eyes were like blue marbles. ”It makes you feel better to jerk my Johnson, be my guest,“
he said. ”But I'm closing up, I don't have any contact with Sonny, and
I got nothing to do with other people's family troubles.“ He widened his eyes for emphasis. ”This is the guy knows all the meres?“ Helen said, and brayed at her own irony. She upended her beer can until it was empty. ”I'm driving down to the store on the corner. If you're not there in five minutes, you can ride the goddamn bus home.“ She let the glass door slam behind her. Tommy stared after her. ”For real, that's your wife?“ he said, chewing his gum. ”Yeah.“
”What's your experience? Maybe I can help.“
”One tour in “Nam. Some diddle-shit stuff with the tomato pickers.” He pushed a pencil and pad across the glass countertop. “Write your name and number down there. I'll see what I can come up with.”
“You can't hook me up with Sonny?”
“Like I say, I don't see him around, you know what I mean?” His eyes were as bright as blue silk, locked on mine, a lump of cartilage working in his jaw. “He's out of town and nobody's missing him?” I smiled at him.
“You summed it up.”
“How about two guys who look like Mutt and Jeff?”
He began shaking his head noncommittally. “The short guy's got a fire hydrant for a neck. Maybe he did some work for Idi
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