Drowning to Breathe by A. L. Jackson

heart, like she was begging me to understand our hearts were the only things that mattered.
    I hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her face to me. The words grated from my throat. “How’s it possible to love someone so fucking much and not know the first thing about their past?”
    No doubt it sounded like a concession.
    Like surrender.
    Because neither of us were immune to this , this strange connection that billowed between us. What tied us together when neither of us knew the paths that had brought us to this place.
    This place where it was us .
    “Remember when I told you I didn’t even know you but you felt like one of the most significant people to have ever come into my life?” she asked.
    “Yeah.”
    “Maybe there was a reason neither of us could let this go.”
    I moved to hold that sweet face between my hands. “I’d do anything for you, Shea. Give up anything…” My hold tightened in emphasis. “Give up everything if it means we get that little girl back.”
    I finally let myself ask one question that’d been nagging me. “Why’d you quit?”
    Shea paled, and she spoke softly. Sadly. “My entire childhood was spent priming me for one singular goal. I spent my days in endless lessons and chasing countless auditions. My momma was going to make me a star .”
    Sarcasm dripped from the word.
    “That’s the only thing she wanted. The only thing she could see. It got to the point where I knew she didn’t care how she made that happen, just as long as it did. All those years, my mother had worked her magic with manipulative words, getting me in front of anyone in the industry who would give me the time of day.”
    She winced. “When Martin came into our lives, she allowed him to take over everything. Including me. He…he…”
    If it were possible, her voice got rougher, dipped into fear. “He controlled everything.”
    She wavered. Like she needed to decide how much she should say. How much I could tolerate.
    “Let’s just say Kallie didn’t fit into that picture. So I ran.”
    Guess the girl knew I couldn’t tolerate much. Just that bit of history hit me with yet another urge to jump from this bed and hunt the fucker down. That urge was almost irresistible.
    She shook her head like she was shaking off the memories then tipped her chin back up to focus on me. “How did you get messed up with him?”
    I almost laughed. It was definitely a mess .
    I played with a few strands of her hair. “I knew the second I met Martin Jennings he was nothin’ but a snake, but at the time, none of us cared. The only thing that mattered to the guys and me was Sunder making it big. We didn’t give a shit about how we made that happen. Anthony had hooked us up, asked him to come check us out at a bar we were playing at. Jennings made us big promises we were quick to jump on. It became clear real fast the guy had his fingers dipped in all kinds of illegal shit—”
    With that tidbit of information, her bottom lip trembled. More fucking worry added to this unbearable torment. With my thumb, I smoothed it out, hating dragging all this out into the open. Ripping Shea’s wounds open wider. But we didn’t have a whole lot of options.
    Not if we were going to start being honest with each other.
    No more secrets and lies.
    “But it wasn’t so far off base from what my crew had going down, so I didn’t exactly think we had any right to judge. Even though I’d gotten clean, it didn’t mean the rest of the guys had. You know what I mean?”
    Shea nodded like it hurt.
    “It all came to a head a few months ago when Austin overdosed. There was no question in my mind Jennings somehow had a hand in it. I saw him coming out of our tour bus that night. But Austin wouldn’t fess up, so I’d gone to Jennings’s place and confronted him. While he never admitted involvement, he basically told me my brother was nothing but a punk and the world would be a better place without him in it. I lost it, Shea. Fucking lost it