already shared one big chunk of baggage with him. But it would’ve been on my terms. Not this way, with Nikki spilling my worst mistake in the middle of school lunchroom.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, taking my hand.
Calming energy seemed to flow from his hand into mine, spreading through my whole body with warmth and peace. The feeling of shame began to drift away, leaving behind a sense of new beginnings.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he said, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. “You’re not the first teenager to screw up, and you won’t be the last. The important thing is to learn from it and move on.”
Viv returned with her lunch, looking at me tentatively. She knew enough to know there was bad blood between Nikki and me, but she didn’t know the extent of it. I’d tell her, of course. Today. First chance I got.
“It’s okay,” I mouthed to her, and she, Adrian, and I sat down at the table.
As if by unspoken agreement, Adrian put a hold on our conversation. His hand settled with soothing warmth on my shoulder, and all the tension from the confrontation with Nikki ebbed away.
He left a moment later, headed to his Pre-Cal class. I carried on a lively conversation with Viv as she finished her lunch, but didn’t eat. I had no appetite.
I knew Adrian’s words were true. And I knew I’d moved on from the heavy partying and drinking. But the feelings that drove me to those things still simmered inside. All the anger and guilt.
I wondered how he would react if he knew.
Chapter 10
“I almost told you last night,” I said as we shut our Pre-Cal books, homework finished. The warm afternoon humidity simmered around the picnic table where we worked. “And I would’ve told you myself. It’s important to me that you know that.”
Adrian just smiled. “I know, Zoe. And I would’ve let you tell me and pretended I hadn’t figured it out already. But I couldn’t let that confrontation go on any longer.”
His sense of protectiveness astounded me. I owed him the details of that night, if only so that he could hear the truth from me.
I turned so I sat facing him on the bench, thankful for the slight breeze now stirring the air.
“We were coming back from Lexington. We’d all been drinking. I was really gone. Nikki was driving. God, we were idiots.” I shook my head, marveling at my own stupidity. But I’d come this far. I wouldn’t hold back now.
“We met a cop. Nikki turned off on a side road to try and out run him. When he turned to follow us she shut off the car lights.” Adrian reached for both my hands. I took a deep breath and went on. “I remember the crash. We hit something. A ditch or a tree, I’m not sure. I slid all over the backseat and hit my head when we slammed into whatever it was. I was totally disoriented then. I remember thinking this was really bad, but not remembering why. I heard the sirens in the distance, and I knew something big was about to hit the fan. I remember thinking I should try to get up, but…”
It was then I remembered the strange sensation of arms around me, lifting me from the car and flying away with me. Closing my eyes, the sense of comfort I’d felt in those moments surrounded me once again. I thought it was probably best to leave out that strange hallucination.
“The next thing I knew, I woke up in my bed.” I had a momentary flash of the boy I’d imagined in my room that morning, but shoved it away, wanting to get through the rest of the story. I stared down at our joined hands and kept talking. “It was early. The house was quiet, so I knew my mom wasn’t up yet. And it was still kind of dark. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten home. I still don’t. I guess I must’ve gotten out of the car somehow and walked. But we were probably three miles from here when we wrecked. It’s crazy to think I walked that far, but it’s the only logical explanation.”
I looked up at him then. I don’t know what I’d been
“It’s okay,” he whispered, taking my hand.
Calming energy seemed to flow from his hand into mine, spreading through my whole body with warmth and peace. The feeling of shame began to drift away, leaving behind a sense of new beginnings.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he said, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. “You’re not the first teenager to screw up, and you won’t be the last. The important thing is to learn from it and move on.”
Viv returned with her lunch, looking at me tentatively. She knew enough to know there was bad blood between Nikki and me, but she didn’t know the extent of it. I’d tell her, of course. Today. First chance I got.
“It’s okay,” I mouthed to her, and she, Adrian, and I sat down at the table.
As if by unspoken agreement, Adrian put a hold on our conversation. His hand settled with soothing warmth on my shoulder, and all the tension from the confrontation with Nikki ebbed away.
He left a moment later, headed to his Pre-Cal class. I carried on a lively conversation with Viv as she finished her lunch, but didn’t eat. I had no appetite.
I knew Adrian’s words were true. And I knew I’d moved on from the heavy partying and drinking. But the feelings that drove me to those things still simmered inside. All the anger and guilt.
I wondered how he would react if he knew.
Chapter 10
“I almost told you last night,” I said as we shut our Pre-Cal books, homework finished. The warm afternoon humidity simmered around the picnic table where we worked. “And I would’ve told you myself. It’s important to me that you know that.”
Adrian just smiled. “I know, Zoe. And I would’ve let you tell me and pretended I hadn’t figured it out already. But I couldn’t let that confrontation go on any longer.”
His sense of protectiveness astounded me. I owed him the details of that night, if only so that he could hear the truth from me.
I turned so I sat facing him on the bench, thankful for the slight breeze now stirring the air.
“We were coming back from Lexington. We’d all been drinking. I was really gone. Nikki was driving. God, we were idiots.” I shook my head, marveling at my own stupidity. But I’d come this far. I wouldn’t hold back now.
“We met a cop. Nikki turned off on a side road to try and out run him. When he turned to follow us she shut off the car lights.” Adrian reached for both my hands. I took a deep breath and went on. “I remember the crash. We hit something. A ditch or a tree, I’m not sure. I slid all over the backseat and hit my head when we slammed into whatever it was. I was totally disoriented then. I remember thinking this was really bad, but not remembering why. I heard the sirens in the distance, and I knew something big was about to hit the fan. I remember thinking I should try to get up, but…”
It was then I remembered the strange sensation of arms around me, lifting me from the car and flying away with me. Closing my eyes, the sense of comfort I’d felt in those moments surrounded me once again. I thought it was probably best to leave out that strange hallucination.
“The next thing I knew, I woke up in my bed.” I had a momentary flash of the boy I’d imagined in my room that morning, but shoved it away, wanting to get through the rest of the story. I stared down at our joined hands and kept talking. “It was early. The house was quiet, so I knew my mom wasn’t up yet. And it was still kind of dark. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten home. I still don’t. I guess I must’ve gotten out of the car somehow and walked. But we were probably three miles from here when we wrecked. It’s crazy to think I walked that far, but it’s the only logical explanation.”
I looked up at him then. I don’t know what I’d been
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