expecting to see, but the genuine care beaming from his expression just about did me in.
“A little later when my mom came in, I realized somehow I’d gotten home without getting arrested. That’s when I decided I had to stop the destructive behavior. It was bad enough that we were all smashed and we could’ve all been killed in that car crash. But when I thought about what could’ve happened to me on that walk home? A drunk girl all alone wandering the countryside?”
He leaned his forehead to mine, his skin soft and warm, and just looked at me with a smile on his face. It seemed he was waiting for me to smile back, so I did.
That’s when he spoke. “I’m really glad nothing bad happened to you that night.”
The whisper of his voice echoed in my heart, and for the first time in a very long time I felt like something other than an ungrateful brat who’d killed my father with my hate.
At the thought of my father, a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Adrian’s thumb swept it away, his hand settling gently against my face.
My chest expanded until I thought it might explode as Adrian shifted his head slightly and leaned closer. The split second before his lips touched mine seemed like a million years, and in those million years all kinds of thoughts raced through my brain.
I’d just told him the story of my horrible, stupid mistake, and his reaction is to kiss me? Was it a pity kiss? Was it some kind of show of sympathy? Would I embarrass myself with lack of technique or excess slobber?
Then he kissed me, and every thought I’d been thinking fled. Nothing else existed except this. This . Softness and heat meshed together. But even in the midst of it, I knew it was so much more than that.
It was what all that softness and heat represented. It was the way my heart filled and overflowed, in a way I’d thought was lost to me forever. It was the reality of his presence in my life.
He didn’t manhandle me. Not even close. Tenderness emanated from him as he molded his mouth to mine. I was absolutely lost.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
I didn’t want to.
After a long, sweet moment, he pulled away, just enough that his lips still grazed mine as he said, “Really glad.”
I must’ve looked confused, because he quickly added, “That you made it through that night unharmed.”
“Guess I had a guardian angel or something,” I said, our faces still pressed close, breath still mingling.
He chuckled. “Or something.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered.
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. “Of course.”
“It didn’t help.” I leaned back a bit, enough to look him in the eye. “The drinking and the partying. I thought it did, and I guess for a few minutes when I was wasted and numb, I forgot a little bit. But not really.”
He slid his hand to the back of my neck and squeezed, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. He seemed to have an uncanny knack of knowing when I didn’t need him to say anything.
“I wanted it to help. Was desperate for it to help. But it didn’t. I still felt awful.” I closed my eyes, the shame of my next words sitting on my chest like a thousand Pre-Cal textbooks. “I still feel awful.”
Chapter 11
A week had passed since the episode with Nikki in the cafeteria. Thankfully, she’d given Adrian and me a wide berth since, and even though I knew she’d come back at me eventually, I was glad for the reprieve.
There’d also been no talk of my dad or my foolish behavior over the summer. Admitting it all to Adrian hadn’t been that difficult, but it still left me pretty raw, and he must’ve realized I needed some time before the subject came up again.
The idea that Adrian must be able to read minds popped up again, and made me smile.
Sitting at the picnic table in my backyard, I tilted my head into the light breeze that cooled my skin. The afternoon was uncharacteristically pleasant for late August,
“A little later when my mom came in, I realized somehow I’d gotten home without getting arrested. That’s when I decided I had to stop the destructive behavior. It was bad enough that we were all smashed and we could’ve all been killed in that car crash. But when I thought about what could’ve happened to me on that walk home? A drunk girl all alone wandering the countryside?”
He leaned his forehead to mine, his skin soft and warm, and just looked at me with a smile on his face. It seemed he was waiting for me to smile back, so I did.
That’s when he spoke. “I’m really glad nothing bad happened to you that night.”
The whisper of his voice echoed in my heart, and for the first time in a very long time I felt like something other than an ungrateful brat who’d killed my father with my hate.
At the thought of my father, a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Adrian’s thumb swept it away, his hand settling gently against my face.
My chest expanded until I thought it might explode as Adrian shifted his head slightly and leaned closer. The split second before his lips touched mine seemed like a million years, and in those million years all kinds of thoughts raced through my brain.
I’d just told him the story of my horrible, stupid mistake, and his reaction is to kiss me? Was it a pity kiss? Was it some kind of show of sympathy? Would I embarrass myself with lack of technique or excess slobber?
Then he kissed me, and every thought I’d been thinking fled. Nothing else existed except this. This . Softness and heat meshed together. But even in the midst of it, I knew it was so much more than that.
It was what all that softness and heat represented. It was the way my heart filled and overflowed, in a way I’d thought was lost to me forever. It was the reality of his presence in my life.
He didn’t manhandle me. Not even close. Tenderness emanated from him as he molded his mouth to mine. I was absolutely lost.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t think.
I didn’t want to.
After a long, sweet moment, he pulled away, just enough that his lips still grazed mine as he said, “Really glad.”
I must’ve looked confused, because he quickly added, “That you made it through that night unharmed.”
“Guess I had a guardian angel or something,” I said, our faces still pressed close, breath still mingling.
He chuckled. “Or something.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I whispered.
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. “Of course.”
“It didn’t help.” I leaned back a bit, enough to look him in the eye. “The drinking and the partying. I thought it did, and I guess for a few minutes when I was wasted and numb, I forgot a little bit. But not really.”
He slid his hand to the back of my neck and squeezed, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. He seemed to have an uncanny knack of knowing when I didn’t need him to say anything.
“I wanted it to help. Was desperate for it to help. But it didn’t. I still felt awful.” I closed my eyes, the shame of my next words sitting on my chest like a thousand Pre-Cal textbooks. “I still feel awful.”
Chapter 11
A week had passed since the episode with Nikki in the cafeteria. Thankfully, she’d given Adrian and me a wide berth since, and even though I knew she’d come back at me eventually, I was glad for the reprieve.
There’d also been no talk of my dad or my foolish behavior over the summer. Admitting it all to Adrian hadn’t been that difficult, but it still left me pretty raw, and he must’ve realized I needed some time before the subject came up again.
The idea that Adrian must be able to read minds popped up again, and made me smile.
Sitting at the picnic table in my backyard, I tilted my head into the light breeze that cooled my skin. The afternoon was uncharacteristically pleasant for late August,
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