Margo.
Eliza considered the question. “I guess he trusted me,” she said. “He said I cared about right and wrong and that I would do what needed to be done.”
“What do you think he meant by that?” asked Margo. “What do you think he thought needed to be done?”
“I have absolutely no idea,” said Eliza.
Margo sat back in her chair and ran her fingers through her short red hair. “You know, Eliza, suicide is not a random act,” she began. “And the fact that Innis Wheelock actually chose the stigmata as a way of killing himself means he had planned this out very carefully.”
“I suppose that’s true enough,” said Eliza. “He told me he wanted to be like St. Francis, wanted to ‘unite himself’ with him in the most vivid way possible. By choosing the stigmata, he did that. But why ? Why would Innis do it?”
“Suicide represents an answer to a seemingly insoluble problem; it’s a choice that the person makes thinking death is preferable to facing whatever it is in life that seems so dreadful.”
“Maybe Innis was sick, had some terminal illness,” said Eliza. “Maybe he didn’t want to face a pain-filled future and a miserable death.”
“Perhaps,” said Margo. “But the most common reason for suicide is intolerable psychological pain. Shame, guilt, anger, fear, sadness, in excruciating degrees, very often serve as the foundation for self-destructive behaviors. Suicide is the most self-destructive you can get.”
Eliza considered Margo’s words. “You know, when I look back on it, I think Innis did have a plan, a plan beyond taking his own life. I feel like he was trying to tell me something, something he wanted me to follow through on, something he was counting on me to do after he was gone.”
CHAPTER 24
L istening to Mike snoring beside her, Annabelle could not get to sleep. She was no closer to reaching a stage of suspended consciousness than she’d been when she snuggled in several hours before. She looked at the clock on the bedside table and realized that the kids were going to be getting out of school in just over an hour. Even if she finally fell asleep now, she would only be roused from slumber when they came bounding in. Sometimes getting a little sleep was worse than getting no sleep at all.
Thinking that a long, hot bath would make her feel better, Annabelle went in and started the water and poured into the tub some of the lavender-scented bath salts the twins had given her for Mother’s Day. She noted that the bottle was still more than half full five months later.
While the old white tub filled, Annabelle went to the living room. Her canvas tote bag was on the sofa where she’d thrown it. She extracted the complimentary copy of Us Weekly magazine she had taken from the newsroom.
Annabelle sank into the calming water, luxuriating in the warmth and the soothing scent. She put her head back against the rim of the tub and closed her eyes to rest. Hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep the images of Innis Wheelock lying on the ground from replaying in her mind. Suicide was bad enough, but the bizarre manner in which he’d killed himself made her shiver even in the heated water.
There was no point in going over and over it. Annabelle reached out and grabbed the magazine from the floor next to the bathtub. With wet fingers she began to page though it. She noted those who had dressed the best that week and those who hadn’t lived up to the judges’ standards and were mocked accordingly for it. She read about which stars were having babies and which ones were getting divorced. She learned who was using Botox and who was going all out for the face-lift. Annabelle stopped and looked at the pictures before starting to read the article about Angelina Jolie.
Annabelle marveled at the full-length pictures of Angelina. The woman’s figure seemed even better after she’d given birth to her children than before. How was that possible?
Sighing deeply, she turned the page.
Eliza considered the question. “I guess he trusted me,” she said. “He said I cared about right and wrong and that I would do what needed to be done.”
“What do you think he meant by that?” asked Margo. “What do you think he thought needed to be done?”
“I have absolutely no idea,” said Eliza.
Margo sat back in her chair and ran her fingers through her short red hair. “You know, Eliza, suicide is not a random act,” she began. “And the fact that Innis Wheelock actually chose the stigmata as a way of killing himself means he had planned this out very carefully.”
“I suppose that’s true enough,” said Eliza. “He told me he wanted to be like St. Francis, wanted to ‘unite himself’ with him in the most vivid way possible. By choosing the stigmata, he did that. But why ? Why would Innis do it?”
“Suicide represents an answer to a seemingly insoluble problem; it’s a choice that the person makes thinking death is preferable to facing whatever it is in life that seems so dreadful.”
“Maybe Innis was sick, had some terminal illness,” said Eliza. “Maybe he didn’t want to face a pain-filled future and a miserable death.”
“Perhaps,” said Margo. “But the most common reason for suicide is intolerable psychological pain. Shame, guilt, anger, fear, sadness, in excruciating degrees, very often serve as the foundation for self-destructive behaviors. Suicide is the most self-destructive you can get.”
Eliza considered Margo’s words. “You know, when I look back on it, I think Innis did have a plan, a plan beyond taking his own life. I feel like he was trying to tell me something, something he wanted me to follow through on, something he was counting on me to do after he was gone.”
CHAPTER 24
L istening to Mike snoring beside her, Annabelle could not get to sleep. She was no closer to reaching a stage of suspended consciousness than she’d been when she snuggled in several hours before. She looked at the clock on the bedside table and realized that the kids were going to be getting out of school in just over an hour. Even if she finally fell asleep now, she would only be roused from slumber when they came bounding in. Sometimes getting a little sleep was worse than getting no sleep at all.
Thinking that a long, hot bath would make her feel better, Annabelle went in and started the water and poured into the tub some of the lavender-scented bath salts the twins had given her for Mother’s Day. She noted that the bottle was still more than half full five months later.
While the old white tub filled, Annabelle went to the living room. Her canvas tote bag was on the sofa where she’d thrown it. She extracted the complimentary copy of Us Weekly magazine she had taken from the newsroom.
Annabelle sank into the calming water, luxuriating in the warmth and the soothing scent. She put her head back against the rim of the tub and closed her eyes to rest. Hard as she tried, she couldn’t keep the images of Innis Wheelock lying on the ground from replaying in her mind. Suicide was bad enough, but the bizarre manner in which he’d killed himself made her shiver even in the heated water.
There was no point in going over and over it. Annabelle reached out and grabbed the magazine from the floor next to the bathtub. With wet fingers she began to page though it. She noted those who had dressed the best that week and those who hadn’t lived up to the judges’ standards and were mocked accordingly for it. She read about which stars were having babies and which ones were getting divorced. She learned who was using Botox and who was going all out for the face-lift. Annabelle stopped and looked at the pictures before starting to read the article about Angelina Jolie.
Annabelle marveled at the full-length pictures of Angelina. The woman’s figure seemed even better after she’d given birth to her children than before. How was that possible?
Sighing deeply, she turned the page.
Similar Books
