a drawer and produced a ball of string. Let Freddy do what he wanted, Glen thought. He was going out with Yvonne tonight. The cinema, then out clubbing. He would buy her something nice with Freddy’s cash. Perfume. Expensive perfume, he thought. To see her face when he gave it to her. That would do him.
Freddy took two splints and tied them around the corpse’s flaccid penis . He then stuck a rectangular biscuit tin between the dead man’s legs, balancing the splinted cock on top.
– Just wait vor this little beauty to go n zet, with that there rigour martiz, then we’ll have ourzelves zum praber vun! Freddy smiled.
Glen made his excuses and went into the ante-room.
17 Lorraine And Love
Lorraine had been spending a lot of time at Rebecca’s. She had helped her with the manuscript. They had been to the British Museum, to Cardboard City, through the Underground stations where mothers begged, holding up malnourished children. – I saw them do that in Mexico City about ten years ago, Rebecca sighed, – and I always thought: that could never happen here, never in England. You want to look the other way all the time. You want to believe everything, that it’s all a con, a fake; you want to believe everything but the truth.
– Which is that they’ve no money to feed their kids and the Government don’t give a fuck, Lorraine sneered, – they’d rather make sure that the rich have got miles more than enough.
Lorraine was so hard sometimes, Rebecca thought. It wasn’t good. If you allowed those who would brutalise you to make you hard, then surely you’ve lost to them. They had achieved their goal. Romance was more than her creative imagination. Surely there had to be room for romance, for true romance? Romance for everyone, and not just from the pages of a book.
These thoughts pounded through Rebecca’s head as Lorraine went back to the nurses’ home. She too had concerns. She hadn’t really talked properly to Yvonne for ages. She had been avoiding her since that night at the club. She was now going out with that Glen guy, and she seemed so happy. When she got back to the home, Lorraine heard some house music coming from Yvonne’s room. It was that Slam tape she’d given her ages ago.
Bracing herself, she knocked on the door. – It’s open, Yvonne said.
She was alone when Lorraine entered. – Hiya, Lorraine said.
– Hi, Yvonne replied.
– Listen, Yvonne, Lorraine began, then started talking quickly, – I came to apologise about how I was in the club that time. It’s really weird, but I was so E’d up and emotional and you just looked so fucking cool and gorgeous and you’re my best pal and you’re the only person who never gives me a hard time …
– Yeah, that’s all good and well, but I ain’t, you know, like that …
– The thing is, Lorraine laughed, – I don’t know if I am either. I was just going through a downer on men … oh, I don’t know … maybe I am, I don’t know where the fuck I’m coming from! When I kissed you, I was treating you like guys treat me … it was out of order. It was weird, but I wanted to see what they felt. I wanted to feel how they felt. I wanted to fancy you, but I didn’t. I thought that if I was a dyke, then it would be easier, at least I’d know something about myself. But I couldn’t get aroused by you.
– I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted, Yvonne smiled.
– Thing is, I don’t seem to really fancy guys either. Every time with one of them has been a disappointment. Nobody does it for me like I do it for myself… Lorraine put her hand to her mouth, – what a fuckin weird cow, eh.
– Just ain’t found the right one yet, Lorraine. It don’t matter who it is, a bloke or a bird, you just gotta find the right one.
– Voice of experience, eh?
– I think so, Yvonne smiled. – why don’t you come out with us to the club tonight?
– Naw, I’m gaunny keep off the Es for a bit, it’s fucking my head up. I think I love
Freddy took two splints and tied them around the corpse’s flaccid penis . He then stuck a rectangular biscuit tin between the dead man’s legs, balancing the splinted cock on top.
– Just wait vor this little beauty to go n zet, with that there rigour martiz, then we’ll have ourzelves zum praber vun! Freddy smiled.
Glen made his excuses and went into the ante-room.
17 Lorraine And Love
Lorraine had been spending a lot of time at Rebecca’s. She had helped her with the manuscript. They had been to the British Museum, to Cardboard City, through the Underground stations where mothers begged, holding up malnourished children. – I saw them do that in Mexico City about ten years ago, Rebecca sighed, – and I always thought: that could never happen here, never in England. You want to look the other way all the time. You want to believe everything, that it’s all a con, a fake; you want to believe everything but the truth.
– Which is that they’ve no money to feed their kids and the Government don’t give a fuck, Lorraine sneered, – they’d rather make sure that the rich have got miles more than enough.
Lorraine was so hard sometimes, Rebecca thought. It wasn’t good. If you allowed those who would brutalise you to make you hard, then surely you’ve lost to them. They had achieved their goal. Romance was more than her creative imagination. Surely there had to be room for romance, for true romance? Romance for everyone, and not just from the pages of a book.
These thoughts pounded through Rebecca’s head as Lorraine went back to the nurses’ home. She too had concerns. She hadn’t really talked properly to Yvonne for ages. She had been avoiding her since that night at the club. She was now going out with that Glen guy, and she seemed so happy. When she got back to the home, Lorraine heard some house music coming from Yvonne’s room. It was that Slam tape she’d given her ages ago.
Bracing herself, she knocked on the door. – It’s open, Yvonne said.
She was alone when Lorraine entered. – Hiya, Lorraine said.
– Hi, Yvonne replied.
– Listen, Yvonne, Lorraine began, then started talking quickly, – I came to apologise about how I was in the club that time. It’s really weird, but I was so E’d up and emotional and you just looked so fucking cool and gorgeous and you’re my best pal and you’re the only person who never gives me a hard time …
– Yeah, that’s all good and well, but I ain’t, you know, like that …
– The thing is, Lorraine laughed, – I don’t know if I am either. I was just going through a downer on men … oh, I don’t know … maybe I am, I don’t know where the fuck I’m coming from! When I kissed you, I was treating you like guys treat me … it was out of order. It was weird, but I wanted to see what they felt. I wanted to feel how they felt. I wanted to fancy you, but I didn’t. I thought that if I was a dyke, then it would be easier, at least I’d know something about myself. But I couldn’t get aroused by you.
– I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted, Yvonne smiled.
– Thing is, I don’t seem to really fancy guys either. Every time with one of them has been a disappointment. Nobody does it for me like I do it for myself… Lorraine put her hand to her mouth, – what a fuckin weird cow, eh.
– Just ain’t found the right one yet, Lorraine. It don’t matter who it is, a bloke or a bird, you just gotta find the right one.
– Voice of experience, eh?
– I think so, Yvonne smiled. – why don’t you come out with us to the club tonight?
– Naw, I’m gaunny keep off the Es for a bit, it’s fucking my head up. I think I love
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