hatchet?”
“Yes.” I almost smile at his description.
“Him and the other guy, the fat one.”
“Brother Samuel.”
“Yeah. They’ve both been talking to me. Reading the Bible and stuff. I think they’re trying to brainwash me. I told them I wanted my stuff back.”
“Do not provoke Brother Samuel,” I say, thinking of the surgery he visited upon Brother Von. “Tell them you are sorry and that you wish to make amends.”
“Why? I didn’t
do
anything!”
“You attacked Brother Will.”
“He was laughing at me.”
“He meant nothing by it. He is badly injured. Brother Samuel says he has torn the tendons in his knee.”
Tobias puffs furiously on his cigarette. The glowing tip is quite long. After a time, he speaks.
“So I just say I’m sorry? And they’ll let me out?”
“That is my hope.”
“And what if I run to the cops and tell them you guys locked me up?”
“The police are of the World. Nodd is of the Lord.”
Tobias snorts dismissively. “In Colorado Springs, they never said nothing about locking people up or everybody dressing the same. They were all, like, love and peace and nature.” He draws again on his cigarette. “I should’ve known this place was bogus. I mean, the church was in a mini-mall, between a Chinese restaurant and a dry cleaner. Used to be a donut shop, but they closed ’cause of the dry-cleaning smell.”
“What church?”
“Grace Ministries. It was the most rinky-dink operation you can imagine. I couldn’t believe my mom was taking it serious.”
I am surprised by this. I imagined our ministries as being large, beautiful buildings, like the Hall of Enoch.
“One-Eye — Father Grace — he wasn’t all scary, like he is here. He had on regular clothes, and a patch over his eye, and his hair was tied back, and he kept talking about Nodd as a sanctuary, like he was a salesman for some exclusive resort. He was like, ‘Come to Nodd, live off the land in peace and security, and all your problems will go away.’
“My mom was totally into it. I figured it was just one of her phases, you know? She used to be all into this Jesus Saves church, and before that it was Scientology. I guess Kari getting knocked up pushed Mom over the edge. Me getting thrown in jail didn’t help, either.”
“You were imprisoned?”
“Just for a couple days. It was no big deal. I borrowed a car from some guy and he called the cops. Anyway, when my mom started talking seriously about coming here, I looked up the Grace online. There are congressmen and stuff investigating. They say you’re a cult.”
“We are not a cult.”
“Whatever. I just want to get out of here.”
I do not know if he means he wants out of the Pit, or out of Nodd. I fear to ask.
“I am sorry you are troubled,” I say. I hear a sound and look behind me. I see the dark shape of someone walking from Menshome to the lavatory. Probably Brother Benedict, whose bladder is weak. I lower my voice further and whisper, “Even if you do not truly regret your sins, you must repent, or it will go poorly for you.”
“Okay! All right already!”
“Hush. Brother Benedict is up and about.”
We wait in silence for Brother Benedict to leave the lavatory and return to Menshome. I am trying to understand how I have come to risk being caught talking to Tobias, bringing him cigarettes, and suggesting that he bear false witness to Brother Enos. This Worldly boy, filled with anger and sin, has done me no great service, yet I feel responsible. Perhaps it is that when think of him, I am able to push aside the dull ache that threatens to consume me when I think of Ruth, and the other, sharper pangs brought on by thinking of Lynna.
“You still there?” Tobias whispers.
“I am.” I hear anger in my voice.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” It is not his fault that I have sinned. “Benedict is returning to Menshome. I will wait a few minutes for him to settle, then I must go.”
The lighter sparks, and he
“Yes.” I almost smile at his description.
“Him and the other guy, the fat one.”
“Brother Samuel.”
“Yeah. They’ve both been talking to me. Reading the Bible and stuff. I think they’re trying to brainwash me. I told them I wanted my stuff back.”
“Do not provoke Brother Samuel,” I say, thinking of the surgery he visited upon Brother Von. “Tell them you are sorry and that you wish to make amends.”
“Why? I didn’t
do
anything!”
“You attacked Brother Will.”
“He was laughing at me.”
“He meant nothing by it. He is badly injured. Brother Samuel says he has torn the tendons in his knee.”
Tobias puffs furiously on his cigarette. The glowing tip is quite long. After a time, he speaks.
“So I just say I’m sorry? And they’ll let me out?”
“That is my hope.”
“And what if I run to the cops and tell them you guys locked me up?”
“The police are of the World. Nodd is of the Lord.”
Tobias snorts dismissively. “In Colorado Springs, they never said nothing about locking people up or everybody dressing the same. They were all, like, love and peace and nature.” He draws again on his cigarette. “I should’ve known this place was bogus. I mean, the church was in a mini-mall, between a Chinese restaurant and a dry cleaner. Used to be a donut shop, but they closed ’cause of the dry-cleaning smell.”
“What church?”
“Grace Ministries. It was the most rinky-dink operation you can imagine. I couldn’t believe my mom was taking it serious.”
I am surprised by this. I imagined our ministries as being large, beautiful buildings, like the Hall of Enoch.
“One-Eye — Father Grace — he wasn’t all scary, like he is here. He had on regular clothes, and a patch over his eye, and his hair was tied back, and he kept talking about Nodd as a sanctuary, like he was a salesman for some exclusive resort. He was like, ‘Come to Nodd, live off the land in peace and security, and all your problems will go away.’
“My mom was totally into it. I figured it was just one of her phases, you know? She used to be all into this Jesus Saves church, and before that it was Scientology. I guess Kari getting knocked up pushed Mom over the edge. Me getting thrown in jail didn’t help, either.”
“You were imprisoned?”
“Just for a couple days. It was no big deal. I borrowed a car from some guy and he called the cops. Anyway, when my mom started talking seriously about coming here, I looked up the Grace online. There are congressmen and stuff investigating. They say you’re a cult.”
“We are not a cult.”
“Whatever. I just want to get out of here.”
I do not know if he means he wants out of the Pit, or out of Nodd. I fear to ask.
“I am sorry you are troubled,” I say. I hear a sound and look behind me. I see the dark shape of someone walking from Menshome to the lavatory. Probably Brother Benedict, whose bladder is weak. I lower my voice further and whisper, “Even if you do not truly regret your sins, you must repent, or it will go poorly for you.”
“Okay! All right already!”
“Hush. Brother Benedict is up and about.”
We wait in silence for Brother Benedict to leave the lavatory and return to Menshome. I am trying to understand how I have come to risk being caught talking to Tobias, bringing him cigarettes, and suggesting that he bear false witness to Brother Enos. This Worldly boy, filled with anger and sin, has done me no great service, yet I feel responsible. Perhaps it is that when think of him, I am able to push aside the dull ache that threatens to consume me when I think of Ruth, and the other, sharper pangs brought on by thinking of Lynna.
“You still there?” Tobias whispers.
“I am.” I hear anger in my voice.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” It is not his fault that I have sinned. “Benedict is returning to Menshome. I will wait a few minutes for him to settle, then I must go.”
The lighter sparks, and he
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