Eleven and Holding by Mary Penney

gets even madder at him— click-click-click—
    Mom talks everyone into selling Nana’s shop— clackety-clackety—
    Nana dies— click-clack-click-clickclickclickclickclickclickclick—
    Dad disappears— clackety-clackety-clackety-clackety — Chuck!
    Now I wait every single day for Dad to come home. Mom and I used to wait together, but it’s changed. It feels like she stopped waiting.
    â€œPeekaBOO!” Sticky, wet hands pawed at my eyelids. “Peek-a-me!”
    â€œGENTLE, Jack!” I yelled, rolling over in the swing so he couldn’t poke my eyes out. He climbed up behind me and tried to turn my head around, so he could continue a round of peekaboo, just about the dumbest baby game ever invented. Resisting was pointless, so I flopped over onto my back and pulled him up onto my stomach.
    â€œOkay, okay, Jack, enough with the peekaboo!” I grabbed both his chubby little hands and pretended I was going to eat them, which always horrified and thrilled him. He threw his head back, screaming and laughing.
    â€œIt’s time to play Hide the Baby! Yay! Yay!” I clapped his hands together.
    He screamed, drool hanging from his chin. Heslid down off the swing and stood waiting, one small hand on my leg, his eyes big. He farted into his big diaper and then jumped, startled, his nerves already on edge.
    â€œReaaady?” I said. “Seeeett?”
    He bounced up and down, chiming in “Gooo?”
    â€œHIDE THE BABY, JACK!”
    Squealing like a piglet, he pounded across the porch in his baby high-tops, ripping into the house. He’d always hide himself under his little bed or my mom’s bed. Never my bed, though, not since I’d put up Cookie Monster. Jack was a whiz at the game. He could hide for a good ten minutes before he came hunting for me. Unless he fell asleep where he was hiding. That was always an unexpected bonus.
    I loved him so much it nearly made me ache, but that didn’t mean he didn’t drive me nuts sometimes. It was hard being adored twenty-four hours a day. My dad was crazy about him too. Aunt Liv told me he broke down and cried when they first put Jack into his arms. Said that now he had everything he ever wanted in the world—first a daughter, and now a son. I knew it was really hard for him to be away from Jack. Babies change so fast, and Dad was missing so many of Jack’s firsts.
    The screen door opened back up, and Mom cameout. “Macy, I wish you wouldn’t do that to him. If you don’t want to play with him, just come get me.”
    â€œI am playing with him! He likes hiding.”
    â€œNo, he loves playing with his big sister. Why don’t you read to him or put him in the stroller and take him for a walk?”
    â€œTryouts went well, by the way. I made the team.”
    â€œOh, Macy, that is so fantastic! I was just going to ask—”
    I leveled her a look. “I’m sure you were. You’re a very polite mother.”
    She drew in a breath, and I could tell I’d gotten to her.
    â€œIf Dad were home, he would have been at my soccer tryouts.”
    â€œLet’s not do this right now, okay? You’re tired and hungry. Come in and get something to eat. I’m up to my armpits in grocery sacks, and I’ve got a runaway that work is calling me about. But first, I need to get out for a run. I’ve missed the last three days.”
    â€œCan’t you go later? I have stuff I need to do too!” I kind of made that part up, but I wasn’t feeling very cooperative.
    â€œI’m running with someone, so I can’t reschedule.”
    â€œWho?” I asked, suspicious. She usually ran alone.
    â€œI bumped into Chuck while I was out shopping.He had a lot of questions about the supplier contracts we used. I didn’t have time to talk, so I suggested if he wanted to go out for a run with me, I’d fill him in.”
    It took me a minute to digest