metal. But of course there was nothing. At least not in this whatever or wherever he was.
Suzanne continued searching him. “Connie . . . are you all right?”
He took a deep breath. How could he explain it, what he suspected? How could he explain to someone that they may be only his hallucination? Or that he really wasn’t a part of their world? How could he explain that he was just dropping in from one of a million different realities that were almost like theirs but not quite?
“If there are eyewitnesses to such universes they would be locked up in insane asylums . . .”
He opened his mouth, but there were no words. He looked at her, seeing her concern. How could he tell her? What could he tell her? How could he explain something he didn’t understand? He couldn’t. No, right now, he needed the reality of hththt 5/14/01 11:34 AM Page 43
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who she was. Hallucination or not. Parallel world or not. He needed the simple assurance of her presence.
“Connie?”
It took more effort than he anticipated, but somehow he managed to force a smile, then give a shrugging answer. “It’s a long story.”
She didn’t buy it, not entirely. She continued searching his face. “But you’re okay now?”
He nodded and turned up the smile. “Yeah, better than ever.” And it wasn’t a lie. Because whatever reality he was experiencing, for however long he would experience it, whether it was real or not, had to be better than the one he’d left behind.
Suzanne’s expression relaxed, but only slightly. “You sure?”
He nodded.
She seemed a bit more convinced as she pushed the graying hair behind her ears. The woman was in her late forties now, but underneath, she was still that same sensitive and compassionate eighteen-year-old he’d run off with so many lifetimes before.
He did his best to change the subject, to try for small talk.
“You look . . . you look good,” he said.
“You too.”
He shrugged. “A little grayer and thinner on top.”
“It gives you that wise, distinguished look.”
“Yeah, well, we both know better than that, don’t we?”
Her smile broadened.
Refusing to let the uneasiness between them return and intrigued at how real everything appeared, he continued to play along. “So, how’s Julia? And Cody—he’s almost four now, right?”
“Five,” she corrected. “And the perfect angel . . . when he’s not being the devil. You knew she and Ken separated, didn’t you?”
Conrad frowned. “No, I didn’t know that.”
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“Almost six months now.”
A familiar sorrow crept in. Even in this world, Julia was having her problems. And with his sorrow came the guilt. Not because he hadn’t known of the separation. How could he?
He’d not spoken to his daughter in years, had never even seen his grandson. No, it was from something much deeper. “You think they’ll work it out?” he asked.
“With our bullheaded daughter?” Suzanne almost laughed. “I’ve got my doubts. If there’s any working out, I’m afraid it will all have to be at Ken’s end. But I’m praying.”
Conrad nodded. “Good . . . good.” Looking for another change in subject he motioned toward the young man. “So you found another guru, I see.”
Suzanne took the barb graciously and turned to the group of people encircling the man. “Not another one, Connie. This one’s the real thing.” There was no missing the quiet admira-tion in her voice. “What Eli has been doing these past several months, his teachings, the miracles . . . I think we’ve finally found him, Connie. I think we’ve finally found the Messiah we’ve been waiting so long for.”
Her words surprised him. After all, she’d been a devout Christian since her twenties. “What about Jesus?” he asked.
“Don’t tell me you’re throwing all that away?”
Her response was an even greater surprise. “Who?” she asked.
“You know,” he repeated, “Jesus?”
She frowned as if not
Suzanne continued searching him. “Connie . . . are you all right?”
He took a deep breath. How could he explain it, what he suspected? How could he explain to someone that they may be only his hallucination? Or that he really wasn’t a part of their world? How could he explain that he was just dropping in from one of a million different realities that were almost like theirs but not quite?
“If there are eyewitnesses to such universes they would be locked up in insane asylums . . .”
He opened his mouth, but there were no words. He looked at her, seeing her concern. How could he tell her? What could he tell her? How could he explain something he didn’t understand? He couldn’t. No, right now, he needed the reality of hththt 5/14/01 11:34 AM Page 43
43
who she was. Hallucination or not. Parallel world or not. He needed the simple assurance of her presence.
“Connie?”
It took more effort than he anticipated, but somehow he managed to force a smile, then give a shrugging answer. “It’s a long story.”
She didn’t buy it, not entirely. She continued searching his face. “But you’re okay now?”
He nodded and turned up the smile. “Yeah, better than ever.” And it wasn’t a lie. Because whatever reality he was experiencing, for however long he would experience it, whether it was real or not, had to be better than the one he’d left behind.
Suzanne’s expression relaxed, but only slightly. “You sure?”
He nodded.
She seemed a bit more convinced as she pushed the graying hair behind her ears. The woman was in her late forties now, but underneath, she was still that same sensitive and compassionate eighteen-year-old he’d run off with so many lifetimes before.
He did his best to change the subject, to try for small talk.
“You look . . . you look good,” he said.
“You too.”
He shrugged. “A little grayer and thinner on top.”
“It gives you that wise, distinguished look.”
“Yeah, well, we both know better than that, don’t we?”
Her smile broadened.
Refusing to let the uneasiness between them return and intrigued at how real everything appeared, he continued to play along. “So, how’s Julia? And Cody—he’s almost four now, right?”
“Five,” she corrected. “And the perfect angel . . . when he’s not being the devil. You knew she and Ken separated, didn’t you?”
Conrad frowned. “No, I didn’t know that.”
hththt 5/14/01 11:34 AM Page 44
44
“Almost six months now.”
A familiar sorrow crept in. Even in this world, Julia was having her problems. And with his sorrow came the guilt. Not because he hadn’t known of the separation. How could he?
He’d not spoken to his daughter in years, had never even seen his grandson. No, it was from something much deeper. “You think they’ll work it out?” he asked.
“With our bullheaded daughter?” Suzanne almost laughed. “I’ve got my doubts. If there’s any working out, I’m afraid it will all have to be at Ken’s end. But I’m praying.”
Conrad nodded. “Good . . . good.” Looking for another change in subject he motioned toward the young man. “So you found another guru, I see.”
Suzanne took the barb graciously and turned to the group of people encircling the man. “Not another one, Connie. This one’s the real thing.” There was no missing the quiet admira-tion in her voice. “What Eli has been doing these past several months, his teachings, the miracles . . . I think we’ve finally found him, Connie. I think we’ve finally found the Messiah we’ve been waiting so long for.”
Her words surprised him. After all, she’d been a devout Christian since her twenties. “What about Jesus?” he asked.
“Don’t tell me you’re throwing all that away?”
Her response was an even greater surprise. “Who?” she asked.
“You know,” he repeated, “Jesus?”
She frowned as if not
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