breathing the craving lessons. Soon my belly won’t be so flat, and my baby will grow. I will do my best by my child and stay away from the drinking. Not just for the baby’s health, but for mine, too, because when this baby is born, he or she will need a healthy mother to care for them.
I decide a hot shower to calm my shaking will help. While I’m under the comforting hot water, I stare down at my belly and softly trail my fingers across it. I wonder about the life under my fingertips as I lightly stroke it, and about how much my life is going to change. I think of the things I need to confront before my baby arrives, and I become nervous. The thought of telling Mason scares me. I don’t like secrets. That’s what got me into trouble in the first place.
I wrap myself in a white, fluffy towel and when I exit the bathroom I see all the girls sitting on the bed. I can’t say I’m surprised. I sigh loudly and walk over to the wardrobe, deciding on what to wear while ignoring their stares.
“Morning, mummy,” Paige smiles and the word makes me tense. “Crap, I’m sorry,” she quickly adds.
“No, it’s ok,” I reply.
“Listen,” Lacey begins. “I think we should go to the doctor, get your dates confirmed.”
“Dates?” I turn around to look at her.
“Yeah.” She slowly nods. “I thought that if you know the dates, you would be able to tell if Mason is the father or not.”
Her words hit me hard. Not because I think she’s being cruel, but because this fucked up situation is suddenly very real. Tears fall straight away and when the sob escapes my throat, Lacey and Ria come running up to me.
“Shit, sorry honey,” Lacey says as she rocks me.
“I just don’t know what I’m doing!” I cry into Lacey and let her kindness comfort me.
Lacey lifts my head and keeps hold as she speaks clearly. “Let us know what you want, and we will support you all the way. No matter what you choose, you have us all, do you understand?”
I continue to cry, my tears spilling onto Lacey’s hands.
Paige steps closer to me. “Are you listening, Rox?”
I look at them each and my crying slows. I finally nod my head and try to control the sobs.
“Thanks, girls.”
“There’s no need to thank us, darling,” Crystal says and smiles.
This whole situation is so fucked up. My troubles are once again affecting everyone else. How am I supposed to come clean to Mason, when he can’t even stand to be around me, yet he has no trouble calling his blonde slut?
The fact that I can’t be one hundred percent sure that this baby is Mason’s makes everything so much worse. When I tell him that I am pregnant, I will have to tell him that there’s a chance this baby isn’t his. That will break him. But this baby is also mine, and I will not erase the problem. I want this baby. I just hope it’s created out of love and not terror.
“I’ve made the doctor’s appointment,” Lacey tells me. “It’s for tomorrow.”
I smile and nod, but inside I’m nervous as hell. I know I’m pregnant, but this is a step forward, a step I need to take. I just hope this will all work out for the best. At least I have my girls beside me all the way.
Chapter Fourteen
Roxie
That afternoon I continually think about going to the doctor’s tomorrow. I have no idea what’s going to happen, and why should I? I’ve never been in this situation before. It’s a scary thing, but I’m also a little excited. This is the next step into motherhood. I just hope I’m not going to turn out like my mom. Then the realization that I haven’t told my parents that I’m pregnant yet hits me. Oh fuck!
I can only imagine what my mom is going to say! Lacey sees the panic on my face and asks me what’s wrong.
“I have to tell my parents.”
Hearing this Lacey laughs. “Good luck with that.”
“Bitch.” I say, glaring at her.
She knows how bad my mom is. God, I am not looking forward to this conversation. I feel like a naughty
I decide a hot shower to calm my shaking will help. While I’m under the comforting hot water, I stare down at my belly and softly trail my fingers across it. I wonder about the life under my fingertips as I lightly stroke it, and about how much my life is going to change. I think of the things I need to confront before my baby arrives, and I become nervous. The thought of telling Mason scares me. I don’t like secrets. That’s what got me into trouble in the first place.
I wrap myself in a white, fluffy towel and when I exit the bathroom I see all the girls sitting on the bed. I can’t say I’m surprised. I sigh loudly and walk over to the wardrobe, deciding on what to wear while ignoring their stares.
“Morning, mummy,” Paige smiles and the word makes me tense. “Crap, I’m sorry,” she quickly adds.
“No, it’s ok,” I reply.
“Listen,” Lacey begins. “I think we should go to the doctor, get your dates confirmed.”
“Dates?” I turn around to look at her.
“Yeah.” She slowly nods. “I thought that if you know the dates, you would be able to tell if Mason is the father or not.”
Her words hit me hard. Not because I think she’s being cruel, but because this fucked up situation is suddenly very real. Tears fall straight away and when the sob escapes my throat, Lacey and Ria come running up to me.
“Shit, sorry honey,” Lacey says as she rocks me.
“I just don’t know what I’m doing!” I cry into Lacey and let her kindness comfort me.
Lacey lifts my head and keeps hold as she speaks clearly. “Let us know what you want, and we will support you all the way. No matter what you choose, you have us all, do you understand?”
I continue to cry, my tears spilling onto Lacey’s hands.
Paige steps closer to me. “Are you listening, Rox?”
I look at them each and my crying slows. I finally nod my head and try to control the sobs.
“Thanks, girls.”
“There’s no need to thank us, darling,” Crystal says and smiles.
This whole situation is so fucked up. My troubles are once again affecting everyone else. How am I supposed to come clean to Mason, when he can’t even stand to be around me, yet he has no trouble calling his blonde slut?
The fact that I can’t be one hundred percent sure that this baby is Mason’s makes everything so much worse. When I tell him that I am pregnant, I will have to tell him that there’s a chance this baby isn’t his. That will break him. But this baby is also mine, and I will not erase the problem. I want this baby. I just hope it’s created out of love and not terror.
“I’ve made the doctor’s appointment,” Lacey tells me. “It’s for tomorrow.”
I smile and nod, but inside I’m nervous as hell. I know I’m pregnant, but this is a step forward, a step I need to take. I just hope this will all work out for the best. At least I have my girls beside me all the way.
Chapter Fourteen
Roxie
That afternoon I continually think about going to the doctor’s tomorrow. I have no idea what’s going to happen, and why should I? I’ve never been in this situation before. It’s a scary thing, but I’m also a little excited. This is the next step into motherhood. I just hope I’m not going to turn out like my mom. Then the realization that I haven’t told my parents that I’m pregnant yet hits me. Oh fuck!
I can only imagine what my mom is going to say! Lacey sees the panic on my face and asks me what’s wrong.
“I have to tell my parents.”
Hearing this Lacey laughs. “Good luck with that.”
“Bitch.” I say, glaring at her.
She knows how bad my mom is. God, I am not looking forward to this conversation. I feel like a naughty
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