though, I’ve got a list of things to do today and then I’ve got a wedding reception to go to tonight.’
‘That will be nice.’ She stopped as he pulled a face. ‘You’re not looking forward to it, then.’
‘It’s Ellie’s cousin. He’s a real pain, neither of us want to go.’
‘Ellie?’
‘My girlfriend.’ James said, walking over to the window and staring out at the hospital generator, billowing smoke into the cold grey sky as Lorna leant back on the pillows. The L on his keyring made sense now. Of course, it should be an E, but James had alwaysdone that sort of thing differently. L-E—she spelt it out to herself as she lay there. She was relieved when James made a move to go. ‘I’d better get going. I’m supposed to be getting a haircut at twelve.’
‘Of course.’ She gave a bright smile. ‘Thanks for coming to see me, and for explaining things yesterday—I feel so much better.’
‘Good.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow then.’ He gave a brief frown. He shouldn’t have said he’d come and visit her tomorrow. That wasn’t a habit he should be forming.
‘Of course.’ He gave her a smile and there was an awkward moment, when again he chose not to give her a kiss on the cheek. The ease with which he’d pulled her into his arms yesterday was starting to worry him. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
As he walked back down to the department James’s phone buzzed and he stared at the screen, but chose not to answer.
Ellie.
He’d deliberately said her name to Lorna. At the first opportunity he had let Lorna know about Ellie. Because he’d had to, because he’d needed to, because it was right to.
Only he wasn’t doing it just to be loyal to his girlfriend.
It was called self-preservation.
Chapter Seven
‘I T’S BRILLIANT GOING out with a doctor!’ Ellie laughed as they drove away from what had surely been the most boring wedding reception in the universe. ‘You have a permanent excuse to get away early!’
‘Good, isn’t it?’ James smiled.
‘So what will we do?’
James wasn’t smiling now. Instead he flashed on his indicator and needlessly changed lanes. ‘I’ve got to pop in to a work thing.’
‘I could come with you and then we can go back to mine.’
‘I’ve got a lot on tomorrow.’
‘You have a day off tomorrow.’ He could hear the strained note to her voice and knew that it was merited—they hadn’t seen each other all week. He also knew what was coming next—it had been a bone of contention since they’d first started going out. ‘Why don’t you ever take me to work things, James?’
‘You know I like to keep things separate. I told you that from the start.’
‘More than a year ago,’ Ellie pointed out. ‘I think it’sa bit much you have to drop me off home to go for one drink with them.’
‘Fine,’ James said. ‘Come!’ That took the wind out of Ellie’s sails, given that he’d never taken anyone along to a work thing, well, not since Lorna. As they walked through the noisy bar, the emergency team were the noisiest of the lot. They whooped with delight that James had come. Mick was delighted with the gift James had bought him, over and above the collective present. It was a pen James had had engraved, thanking Mick for all his work over the years. But there were a few put-out faces amongst the women and more than a smudge of a frown on May’s brow when James first walked in with Ellie.
Still it was one drink and one drink only. Afterwards they headed back to Ellie’s and, pulling up outside, he felt like the biggest bastard in the world when he didn’t switch off the engine.
‘I’m really tired, Ellie,’ he said, when she asked why he wasn’t coming in.
‘I do have a bed!’ She tried to make a joke but he heard it wobble midway, heard her tears, because he couldn’t bear to see them. ‘Don’t do this, James.’
And about here he should have said, ‘Do what?’ Or, ‘I’m just tired.’ He should have put her mind
‘That will be nice.’ She stopped as he pulled a face. ‘You’re not looking forward to it, then.’
‘It’s Ellie’s cousin. He’s a real pain, neither of us want to go.’
‘Ellie?’
‘My girlfriend.’ James said, walking over to the window and staring out at the hospital generator, billowing smoke into the cold grey sky as Lorna leant back on the pillows. The L on his keyring made sense now. Of course, it should be an E, but James had alwaysdone that sort of thing differently. L-E—she spelt it out to herself as she lay there. She was relieved when James made a move to go. ‘I’d better get going. I’m supposed to be getting a haircut at twelve.’
‘Of course.’ She gave a bright smile. ‘Thanks for coming to see me, and for explaining things yesterday—I feel so much better.’
‘Good.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow then.’ He gave a brief frown. He shouldn’t have said he’d come and visit her tomorrow. That wasn’t a habit he should be forming.
‘Of course.’ He gave her a smile and there was an awkward moment, when again he chose not to give her a kiss on the cheek. The ease with which he’d pulled her into his arms yesterday was starting to worry him. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
As he walked back down to the department James’s phone buzzed and he stared at the screen, but chose not to answer.
Ellie.
He’d deliberately said her name to Lorna. At the first opportunity he had let Lorna know about Ellie. Because he’d had to, because he’d needed to, because it was right to.
Only he wasn’t doing it just to be loyal to his girlfriend.
It was called self-preservation.
Chapter Seven
‘I T’S BRILLIANT GOING out with a doctor!’ Ellie laughed as they drove away from what had surely been the most boring wedding reception in the universe. ‘You have a permanent excuse to get away early!’
‘Good, isn’t it?’ James smiled.
‘So what will we do?’
James wasn’t smiling now. Instead he flashed on his indicator and needlessly changed lanes. ‘I’ve got to pop in to a work thing.’
‘I could come with you and then we can go back to mine.’
‘I’ve got a lot on tomorrow.’
‘You have a day off tomorrow.’ He could hear the strained note to her voice and knew that it was merited—they hadn’t seen each other all week. He also knew what was coming next—it had been a bone of contention since they’d first started going out. ‘Why don’t you ever take me to work things, James?’
‘You know I like to keep things separate. I told you that from the start.’
‘More than a year ago,’ Ellie pointed out. ‘I think it’sa bit much you have to drop me off home to go for one drink with them.’
‘Fine,’ James said. ‘Come!’ That took the wind out of Ellie’s sails, given that he’d never taken anyone along to a work thing, well, not since Lorna. As they walked through the noisy bar, the emergency team were the noisiest of the lot. They whooped with delight that James had come. Mick was delighted with the gift James had bought him, over and above the collective present. It was a pen James had had engraved, thanking Mick for all his work over the years. But there were a few put-out faces amongst the women and more than a smudge of a frown on May’s brow when James first walked in with Ellie.
Still it was one drink and one drink only. Afterwards they headed back to Ellie’s and, pulling up outside, he felt like the biggest bastard in the world when he didn’t switch off the engine.
‘I’m really tired, Ellie,’ he said, when she asked why he wasn’t coming in.
‘I do have a bed!’ She tried to make a joke but he heard it wobble midway, heard her tears, because he couldn’t bear to see them. ‘Don’t do this, James.’
And about here he should have said, ‘Do what?’ Or, ‘I’m just tired.’ He should have put her mind
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