sorry,” I said. “Gods, I’m so sorry.”
Silence filled the air and the image of Riley breaking Willy’s neck replayed through my mind. I didn’t want to do this again. I tried to occupy my thoughts with something else, anything else. Voices began to whisper in my ear.
Why didn’t you stop him?
Ithreal will be freed because of your failure.
We’re running out of time. Help us!
He is a fool; do not encourage his weakness.
I started pacing. My eyes darted from the rocky beach, to the forest, and then the lake, trying to stay away from the images and voices that clawed through my mind.
“Chase,” Grams voice was soft, but I ignored it. I was focused. “Chase,” she said again.
“Don’t say it,” I said, shaking my head.
“It’s not your fault.”
I stopped, fire filling my eyes. The forest, the lake, and the rocks beneath my feet all became red. Fire spilled out over my soul like a volcanic eruption, molten lava filling my veins and rushing through my body, but it had nowhere to go. I was in complete control now. The magic wasn’t tearing itself out of me and I wasn’t releasing it. It cycled through me, forcing sweat to form in my palms and searing my body from the inside out. I didn’t wince, I welcomed the pain and the distraction it brought.
“The hell it’s not. I know it, you know it, and the gods know it. I wasn’t fast enough, I wasn’t strong enough, and I wasn’t smart enough. If I had been smart, I’d have left all of you behind and done this on my own. Then Riley would have had nothing left to take from me.”
“You’re a stupid son of a bitch, you know that?”
The red that tainted my vision washed away in a wave of surprise, and the first color to return was the blue of her eyes.
Grams sauntered toward me, streaks of tears staining her pale skin. “You’re a stupid kid, so let me impart some wisdom on you. Sometimes in life we have to bear a weight, one that’s heavier than anything we should be able to manage. In your case, the weight of the worlds. But you’re lucky, Chase—you have people determined to help you carry it. They’re the pillars that hold up things around you. Don’t disregard their efforts because someone got hurt. We all knew what we were getting into and Willy is no exception. So don’t stand there and give me this self-loathing, down-on-his-luck bullshit.”
“What the hell am I supposed to feel? My best friend just died, and—”
“And so did my son!” A glimmer of power washed over her and carried in her voice. It snapped against my skin, sending tingles down my arms. The power made the magic inside me pulse and I shuddered. The magic retreated as Grams took a breath. “He was like my son. He’s dead now and it hurts, I know. Hell, I don’t even think it’s quite sunk in through this old skin yet, but there isn’t time to be sad right now. There’s a damn powerful son of a bitch out there that we need to stop. We , Chase. Don’t forget, you ain’t the only one lifting.”
I couldn’t respond with words. What was there to say? I’d lost my best friend, but Grams had lost Willy too. We all had. I wasn’t the only the one hurting. She was right; Riley was still out there and it was up to us to stop him.
“Now enough of this sad crap. Get up and show me what you got.”
“What?”
“You can use your elements now, yes?”
“I…I don’t know. I haven’t tried yet.”
“Well, now’s the time to find out, so show me.”
“You want to spar with me?” I asked, walking hesitantly across the rocks and taking up a spot across from her. “Are you sure?”
“Don’t be an idiot. I want to see what you can do, not feel it. Now that you have…whatever the hell those things are inside you, it’s time to see what the Protector is capable of. Call your element.”
“Which one?”
“I don’t remember saying.” Grams’s gaze had hardened and her steely gaze narrowed. The sadness had been pulled back, hidden behind a
Silence filled the air and the image of Riley breaking Willy’s neck replayed through my mind. I didn’t want to do this again. I tried to occupy my thoughts with something else, anything else. Voices began to whisper in my ear.
Why didn’t you stop him?
Ithreal will be freed because of your failure.
We’re running out of time. Help us!
He is a fool; do not encourage his weakness.
I started pacing. My eyes darted from the rocky beach, to the forest, and then the lake, trying to stay away from the images and voices that clawed through my mind.
“Chase,” Grams voice was soft, but I ignored it. I was focused. “Chase,” she said again.
“Don’t say it,” I said, shaking my head.
“It’s not your fault.”
I stopped, fire filling my eyes. The forest, the lake, and the rocks beneath my feet all became red. Fire spilled out over my soul like a volcanic eruption, molten lava filling my veins and rushing through my body, but it had nowhere to go. I was in complete control now. The magic wasn’t tearing itself out of me and I wasn’t releasing it. It cycled through me, forcing sweat to form in my palms and searing my body from the inside out. I didn’t wince, I welcomed the pain and the distraction it brought.
“The hell it’s not. I know it, you know it, and the gods know it. I wasn’t fast enough, I wasn’t strong enough, and I wasn’t smart enough. If I had been smart, I’d have left all of you behind and done this on my own. Then Riley would have had nothing left to take from me.”
“You’re a stupid son of a bitch, you know that?”
The red that tainted my vision washed away in a wave of surprise, and the first color to return was the blue of her eyes.
Grams sauntered toward me, streaks of tears staining her pale skin. “You’re a stupid kid, so let me impart some wisdom on you. Sometimes in life we have to bear a weight, one that’s heavier than anything we should be able to manage. In your case, the weight of the worlds. But you’re lucky, Chase—you have people determined to help you carry it. They’re the pillars that hold up things around you. Don’t disregard their efforts because someone got hurt. We all knew what we were getting into and Willy is no exception. So don’t stand there and give me this self-loathing, down-on-his-luck bullshit.”
“What the hell am I supposed to feel? My best friend just died, and—”
“And so did my son!” A glimmer of power washed over her and carried in her voice. It snapped against my skin, sending tingles down my arms. The power made the magic inside me pulse and I shuddered. The magic retreated as Grams took a breath. “He was like my son. He’s dead now and it hurts, I know. Hell, I don’t even think it’s quite sunk in through this old skin yet, but there isn’t time to be sad right now. There’s a damn powerful son of a bitch out there that we need to stop. We , Chase. Don’t forget, you ain’t the only one lifting.”
I couldn’t respond with words. What was there to say? I’d lost my best friend, but Grams had lost Willy too. We all had. I wasn’t the only the one hurting. She was right; Riley was still out there and it was up to us to stop him.
“Now enough of this sad crap. Get up and show me what you got.”
“What?”
“You can use your elements now, yes?”
“I…I don’t know. I haven’t tried yet.”
“Well, now’s the time to find out, so show me.”
“You want to spar with me?” I asked, walking hesitantly across the rocks and taking up a spot across from her. “Are you sure?”
“Don’t be an idiot. I want to see what you can do, not feel it. Now that you have…whatever the hell those things are inside you, it’s time to see what the Protector is capable of. Call your element.”
“Which one?”
“I don’t remember saying.” Grams’s gaze had hardened and her steely gaze narrowed. The sadness had been pulled back, hidden behind a
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