traffic, searching for Mandy’s curls or Justin’s bright crop of
hair. I hesitate and then take a step toward the ‘cool’ table. As I move a
silent ripple travels through the room and eleven sets of very dark eyes glare
out at me. Even surrounded by hundreds of students I can see each person
clearly and I know that they are looking directly at me. Their pupils are huge
and their skin has an unhealthy blue tint.
I step
backward, but their eyes don’t move with me. It’s then that I realize they are
actually looking slightly beyond me, to my right. I back away again and again
until I am standing outside the lunch room, beyond the doors.
“Ephraim.”
I hiss under my breath, even though he can’t answer me, “don’t follow me in.” I
don’t wait for an answer, hoping he’s heard me. I steel myself and swing the
doors back open. Everything seems completely normal. No unsettling eyes follow
me; no strange intangible effects go off. I turn in a slow circle, trying to
remember which faces seemed wrong to me before, but I can’t. I scrub my eyes
and picked up a lunch tray. Is it all in my mind or just some of it? Is there
any way to tell the difference?
Carrying my
tray to our usual table I do a double take, Justin and Mandy are not only
seated at the table, they look like they are almost through eating. “There you
are!” Mandy exclaims, “What’s with the late to lunch thing all the time now?
You haven’t developed an eating disorder have you? because that’s a pretty
cliché problem.” She goes on half chastising, half teasing me, and speaking
more to the table than to me directly. She turns on Matt next, “I told you she
was here today, honestly it’s like no one ever listens.”
I look over
at Matt, sitting across from my empty seat. He looks pale, and really serious.
But otherwise he looks like himself. Brown eyes, wavy black hair, hard jaw.
Maybe he’s just coming down with something. He gives me a tight smile, and turns
away. Not that that’s surprising, since Paige is falling over herself, as
usual, trying to get his attention.
I slide
into my seat and lean my shoulder into Justin, slightly. His body stiffens briefly
with my contact and then relaxes, bumping my shoulder back in a small, playful
way. Now that I have his attention I whisper in his ear, “Can you come over
this afternoon? I need to talk to you,” I glance around the table and catch
Matt`s intense gaze focused on me, “alone,” I add softly. Justin nods
silently, his bright eyes shifting between Matt and me curiously.
He
is waiting outside my class at the end of the day. He falls easily into step
next to Mandy and me, walking with us to the parking lot. Mandy drives a bright
red Acura at speeds better measured in Machs than miles per hour. She’s
generous with offers of rides but even before the accident, riding with her
felt death defying. Matt’s music is loud but his driving is pretty tame.
Justin
steers me toward Mandy’s car. I grimace, sending him an imploring look when her
back is turned. “Sorry, Matt’s busy so it’s Mandy, school bus or walk.” Justin
says, holding the door open for me.
“Walk!” I
shoot back instantly.
He shakes
his head at me. “Again? After you ditched us this morning? When you’re
supposed to be resting? Into the car please.”
“Ditched
you?” I protest. “I’m not the one who wouldn’t unlock the door and then left me
standing in the dust on the side of the road.”
Justin’s
head snaps up, giving me his full attention. “Matt did what?” he asks. “He told
me you weren’t coming.”
I start to
point out that I clearly came to school but Mandy pokes her head out of the
window impatiently, “Can’t this
hair. I hesitate and then take a step toward the ‘cool’ table. As I move a
silent ripple travels through the room and eleven sets of very dark eyes glare
out at me. Even surrounded by hundreds of students I can see each person
clearly and I know that they are looking directly at me. Their pupils are huge
and their skin has an unhealthy blue tint.
I step
backward, but their eyes don’t move with me. It’s then that I realize they are
actually looking slightly beyond me, to my right. I back away again and again
until I am standing outside the lunch room, beyond the doors.
“Ephraim.”
I hiss under my breath, even though he can’t answer me, “don’t follow me in.” I
don’t wait for an answer, hoping he’s heard me. I steel myself and swing the
doors back open. Everything seems completely normal. No unsettling eyes follow
me; no strange intangible effects go off. I turn in a slow circle, trying to
remember which faces seemed wrong to me before, but I can’t. I scrub my eyes
and picked up a lunch tray. Is it all in my mind or just some of it? Is there
any way to tell the difference?
Carrying my
tray to our usual table I do a double take, Justin and Mandy are not only
seated at the table, they look like they are almost through eating. “There you
are!” Mandy exclaims, “What’s with the late to lunch thing all the time now?
You haven’t developed an eating disorder have you? because that’s a pretty
cliché problem.” She goes on half chastising, half teasing me, and speaking
more to the table than to me directly. She turns on Matt next, “I told you she
was here today, honestly it’s like no one ever listens.”
I look over
at Matt, sitting across from my empty seat. He looks pale, and really serious.
But otherwise he looks like himself. Brown eyes, wavy black hair, hard jaw.
Maybe he’s just coming down with something. He gives me a tight smile, and turns
away. Not that that’s surprising, since Paige is falling over herself, as
usual, trying to get his attention.
I slide
into my seat and lean my shoulder into Justin, slightly. His body stiffens briefly
with my contact and then relaxes, bumping my shoulder back in a small, playful
way. Now that I have his attention I whisper in his ear, “Can you come over
this afternoon? I need to talk to you,” I glance around the table and catch
Matt`s intense gaze focused on me, “alone,” I add softly. Justin nods
silently, his bright eyes shifting between Matt and me curiously.
He
is waiting outside my class at the end of the day. He falls easily into step
next to Mandy and me, walking with us to the parking lot. Mandy drives a bright
red Acura at speeds better measured in Machs than miles per hour. She’s
generous with offers of rides but even before the accident, riding with her
felt death defying. Matt’s music is loud but his driving is pretty tame.
Justin
steers me toward Mandy’s car. I grimace, sending him an imploring look when her
back is turned. “Sorry, Matt’s busy so it’s Mandy, school bus or walk.” Justin
says, holding the door open for me.
“Walk!” I
shoot back instantly.
He shakes
his head at me. “Again? After you ditched us this morning? When you’re
supposed to be resting? Into the car please.”
“Ditched
you?” I protest. “I’m not the one who wouldn’t unlock the door and then left me
standing in the dust on the side of the road.”
Justin’s
head snaps up, giving me his full attention. “Matt did what?” he asks. “He told
me you weren’t coming.”
I start to
point out that I clearly came to school but Mandy pokes her head out of the
window impatiently, “Can’t this
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