Every Beat Of My Heart: The Sullivans (Wedding Novella) by Bella Andre Page B

“Let’s go for a walk.” She didn’t say anything as he led them out of the castle and into the vineyard that surrounded it. He took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders to ward off the slight chill as he brought her farther up the path so that they could only faintly hear the laughter, the music.
    The moon was full, and the vines were lit up as if by a romantic spotlight. When they reached a small, walled rose garden with a seat at the center, he pulled her into his arms and tipped up her chin so that he could look into her eyes. “Are you okay?”
    “We’re getting married tomorrow.” She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “How could I not be okay?”
    “Vicki.” He stroked her cheek. “You can tell me if you’re not.”
    “You said the same thing to me the night your team threw us a party for our pretend engagement.”
    “Our love was always real,” he said first. And then, “I meant it then and I mean it now—you can tell me anything. Anything at all.”
    She was silent for a few moments before finally saying, “After my divorce, I didn’t just vow to protect my heart at all costs—I also believed I’d never marry again. But then there you were, my best friend, the one man I had never been able to stop loving. Your love made it possible for me to push my fears aside and put my entire heart and soul on the line for you. But tonight…” She paused, scrunching up her face, the same expression she got when the clay wasn’t turning into the sculpture she could see in her mind’s eye. “I just want the past to stay in the past. I didn’t even realize any darkness from those years without you was still lingering, but tonight it feels like the final bits of my bad first marriage are being dredged up to the surface.”
    “I hate that we were apart all those years, Vicki.” Just as he hated the pain he could see on her face right now. “I’ve wished a million times that I could go back into the past to redo it all. I wouldn’t just fumble my way through a kiss with you at fifteen—I’d find the guts to tell you straight up that I was in love with you. I wouldn’t let you marry some other guy. And I sure as hell wouldn’t almost lose touch with you for fifteen years when what I most wanted was to see you, talk to you, kiss you every single day.”
    “I can’t believe I used to think I was made for long term and you weren’t,” she said in a soft voice, “when I’m the one who’s still scared that my earlier failure at marriage might taint the one that truly matters. I already gave my ex ten years—I don’t want to give him even one more second.”
    “We’ll never be able to erase the past,” Ryan said, “but we don’t need to. Because we’ve got tonight. Tomorrow. And every single day after that. Forever,” he said as he held her hands in his. “That’s how long I’ve loved you—and how long I always will.”
    “That first day, when I was so scared, you did the same thing you’re doing now. You took me out into nature and held my hand and showed me that you’d be there for me, no matter what.”
    “You let me hold your hand that day three years ago, but I wanted to do so much more.”
    “Tell me, Ryan. What would you have done then, if you could have?”
    “This.” He pulled her even closer and kissed her. “And this.” He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. “I would have said, I love you . I would have said, I’ve always loved you and I always will .” He brushed away her tears. “And I would have asked you not just to trust me, but to trust yourself too. All those years away from you—and then trying to pretend I didn’t want you with every fiber of my being—were the worst kind of torture. But we’ve always come away stronger. Better. And even more in love. Which is how I know we’ll make it through anything else that comes our way. Just as long as we’re always honest about what we’re feeling, what we