“When youcome up dere tonight, when he snore so loud—he ain’t sleep. Wait till he breathes easy. Then, you ketch dem two horses,” says, “an’ we’ll go.”
She give me one-half uh banana, and tole me to put dat in my pocket. She give me one-half uh peanut, and tole me to put dat in my pocket. She give me uh egg, and tole me to put dat in my pocket. And so she tole me, “When we go to my grandma’s house, she got a lil fice (dog) and ef he kiss me, I won’t see you no mo’, and ef he kiss you, you won’t see me no mo’.”
He had an ole jumpin’ bull jump five thousand miles every time he jump. De horses wuz named Three Color and Changeable. Every time you say “Changeable” he be changing states dat quick.
So when we saw her daddy coming, she tole me to han’ her de egg. She throwed it crost her left shoulder and it made a great big river, and he had tuh go back home tuh git his blood hounds to drink up all de water so he could come on across.
Look back agin and saw him comin’ on his bull, and so she tole me tuh hand her dat half uh banana. She throwed dat crost her left shoulder, and dere come a great big banana field. She said, “Papa love bananas, an’ I know he’ll hafter stop and git some of those.”
He stopped and turnt roun’ and carried some bananas back to de house. While he was carrying those bananas back to de house, we dodged him. So we got dere and we stopped and went in, an’ so we wuz setten down talkin’ and de lil ole fice come dere to play with me, and I pat ’im on de head. When I know anything, he had done kiss me “bap” in de mouth, and I ain’t seen my gal no mo’.
—J ULIUS H ENRY.
Woman Smarter than Devil †
There was a young man, very nice young man, raised nice, and he married a very nice girl and they loved one another dearly. And they lived so happy together and de Devil didn’t like it, so he put in to break ’em up.
Every scheme the Devil would figure out their love would overcome. So de Devil met a woman named Sarah one day and she was barefooted. De Devil said to her: “Whut you doin barefooted?”
She says: “I ain’t able to buy no shoes.”
Devil says to her: “I got a job for you and if you ’complish dat job I’ll give give you a pair of new shoes.”
She says: “All right.”
Devil says: “You know dat young man and his wife?”
She says: “Yes.”
Devil says: “I been trying a long time to break ’em up, but every scheme I have don’t take no effect. I give it up.”
Woman says: “I’ll break ’em up if you gimme dem shoes.”
So de woman went to de house, de man was in de field plowing and she seen him before she got there. He had a mole on his neck. So she went to de house. Before he got there de woman was bragging about the husband. She says: “He is handsome, but there is one thing I don’t like him. Dat mole on his neck. You cut dat off and he will be perfect.”
So the wife ast: “How kin I cut it off and he won’t know it?”
Sarah says: “Wait till he go to sleep and you take his razor and cut it off.”
Wife says: “He is pretty now, but if anything will make him more pretty, I’ll do it.”
So after dinner de man went on back down in de field and went to plowing. So when de woman left she went on down in de fiel and she tole de man: “You know I found out something today.”
He says: “Whut?”
She says: “You and yo wife been living together a nary a year and you love her, don’t you?”
He says: “Yes”.
“And she make out she love you, too, but tonight when you go to bed you stay wake and cover up yo’ head and when she start to pull de cover off yo’ head she gointer have yo’ razor in her hand to cut yo’ throat. Now don’t say I told you. Don’t call my name, but you’ll see whut I’m tellin you is true.”
So dat evening when he knocked off she had supper ready, he eat and went on to bed and covered up. When she thought he was sleep she went to easing the cover off and
She give me one-half uh banana, and tole me to put dat in my pocket. She give me one-half uh peanut, and tole me to put dat in my pocket. She give me uh egg, and tole me to put dat in my pocket. And so she tole me, “When we go to my grandma’s house, she got a lil fice (dog) and ef he kiss me, I won’t see you no mo’, and ef he kiss you, you won’t see me no mo’.”
He had an ole jumpin’ bull jump five thousand miles every time he jump. De horses wuz named Three Color and Changeable. Every time you say “Changeable” he be changing states dat quick.
So when we saw her daddy coming, she tole me to han’ her de egg. She throwed it crost her left shoulder and it made a great big river, and he had tuh go back home tuh git his blood hounds to drink up all de water so he could come on across.
Look back agin and saw him comin’ on his bull, and so she tole me tuh hand her dat half uh banana. She throwed dat crost her left shoulder, and dere come a great big banana field. She said, “Papa love bananas, an’ I know he’ll hafter stop and git some of those.”
He stopped and turnt roun’ and carried some bananas back to de house. While he was carrying those bananas back to de house, we dodged him. So we got dere and we stopped and went in, an’ so we wuz setten down talkin’ and de lil ole fice come dere to play with me, and I pat ’im on de head. When I know anything, he had done kiss me “bap” in de mouth, and I ain’t seen my gal no mo’.
—J ULIUS H ENRY.
Woman Smarter than Devil †
There was a young man, very nice young man, raised nice, and he married a very nice girl and they loved one another dearly. And they lived so happy together and de Devil didn’t like it, so he put in to break ’em up.
Every scheme the Devil would figure out their love would overcome. So de Devil met a woman named Sarah one day and she was barefooted. De Devil said to her: “Whut you doin barefooted?”
She says: “I ain’t able to buy no shoes.”
Devil says to her: “I got a job for you and if you ’complish dat job I’ll give give you a pair of new shoes.”
She says: “All right.”
Devil says: “You know dat young man and his wife?”
She says: “Yes.”
Devil says: “I been trying a long time to break ’em up, but every scheme I have don’t take no effect. I give it up.”
Woman says: “I’ll break ’em up if you gimme dem shoes.”
So de woman went to de house, de man was in de field plowing and she seen him before she got there. He had a mole on his neck. So she went to de house. Before he got there de woman was bragging about the husband. She says: “He is handsome, but there is one thing I don’t like him. Dat mole on his neck. You cut dat off and he will be perfect.”
So the wife ast: “How kin I cut it off and he won’t know it?”
Sarah says: “Wait till he go to sleep and you take his razor and cut it off.”
Wife says: “He is pretty now, but if anything will make him more pretty, I’ll do it.”
So after dinner de man went on back down in de field and went to plowing. So when de woman left she went on down in de fiel and she tole de man: “You know I found out something today.”
He says: “Whut?”
She says: “You and yo wife been living together a nary a year and you love her, don’t you?”
He says: “Yes”.
“And she make out she love you, too, but tonight when you go to bed you stay wake and cover up yo’ head and when she start to pull de cover off yo’ head she gointer have yo’ razor in her hand to cut yo’ throat. Now don’t say I told you. Don’t call my name, but you’ll see whut I’m tellin you is true.”
So dat evening when he knocked off she had supper ready, he eat and went on to bed and covered up. When she thought he was sleep she went to easing the cover off and
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