Everyone's Favorite Girl

Everyone's Favorite Girl by Steph Sweeney Page B

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Authors: Steph Sweeney
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Try being experimented on like a lab rat and losing your memory once a week.  See how good you are at decision-making."
    She'd covered her mouth while I was talking, but now she burst into laughter, mouth so wide I could see the back of her throat, where countless dicks had rammed their heads and made her gag.  I had this image in my head as Kate succumbed to coughing and didn't notice her reaching for the glass.
    All I saw was her taking a drink.
    Setting the glass down, she cleared her throat a final time and said, "The truth is, Melissa, that you've already run out of money.  Six days ago actually.  We're just keeping you alive until the experiment is over.  If we get the results we want, you get to live a little longer.  If we don't . . . well, then it's a fight between a lot of people over who gets to kill you."  She paused, the corners of her mouth turning up in a slight smile.  "And how."
    She closed her eyes and drew in a long breath, pushing her breasts out and arching her back in the chair.
    This was it.  She'd drank the Libido Drug.  In a moment she'd be on the floor fingering herself.
    I decided I would introduce her to autoerotic asphyxiation.
    Kate opened her eyes and exhaled.  "Whew, I feel better.  I've always been a morning person, but ever since I woke up from the coma, it takes me a while to get going."
    She stood, and I stood with her.
    "You're leaving?" I asked.  Where was the reprimand for breaking the rules?
    "Sorry to be in a rush," she said, "but I'm a busy girl these days.  It's not easy being assistant to Sean and supervisor of Patton at the same time.  Today I'm going down to the warehouse.  We have to train two of the pre-production Favorite Girls to drive forklifts."
    "What?  But they're just kids."
    She stopped at the door.  "What do you expect us to do--hire from a temp agency?  Taking over the world requires secrecy.  A little child labor won't hurt anybody."
    At least a minute had passed since she drank from the glass.  The Libido Drug would have kicked in instantly, and the Love Drug would have softened her bitchy attitude by now.
    Far left eyelet: Longevity.
     
    ~ ~ ~ ~
     
    I actually felt better knowing my life was no longer set to a predetermined countdown.  It left wiggle room, a slight hope that I might once again cock-block the Grim Reaper.
    We're just keeping you alive until the experiment is over.  If we get the results we want, you get to live a little longer.  If we don't . . .
    Finding out what results they wanted was key, and there was only one person from whom I might gain that information.
    Judy.
    So the plan was still the same.  I had to finish testing the drugs.
    A lot of women panic when they drop something down the sink because they don't know about the drain trap, just like a lot of flooded bathrooms are the result of women not knowing about the shut-off valve to the left of the toilet.
    When Ted and I were a newly living together couple, he gave me a pair of expensive diamond earrings for Valentine's Day.  I went to inspect them under a bright fluorescent light fixture over the sink and dropped one, then stood there crying until Ted came over, rubbed my back, and explained to my naive ass that my earring wasn't gone forever.  He then brought me a wrench from the utility room and instructed me on how to remove the drain trap.
    This time around, I had a minor mental breakdown trying to unscrew the slip nut from the pipe running up to the sink.  The threading had been reinforced with plumber's tape.  I didn't think I'd be able to do it with my bare hands, and I wasn't about to go another round with James for a wrench.  Besides, how would I explain the need for one?
    Finally it came loose and I was able to twist the trap around and loosen the nut connecting to the drain pipe.
    The device fell out easily.  Since we only used the sink to wash our hands or get a glass of water, the trap was almost pristine, absent of the rancid stench I remember

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