actions—they seemed to say something, too. I mean, he always gave me what I wanted, always. And now he had chosen me and the kids over Ava. Ava! Who he supposedly adored.
But the way he was looking at me now … whoa.
Tingles ran through my body.
And suddenly I knew. Knew for sure. I really, truly, totally, sincerely had fallen for Riley. It wasn’t just a pathetic crush. Not something I could “get over.” It was real.
I took a deep breath. This was it.
I was going to open my mouth and spill it all out. Actually tell Riley what I was feeling. All of it. Totally. For real. That was my plan. Really. But just then …
Jillian puked in the hot tub.
***
No, I didn’t end up telling Riley how I felt. Grr! Puke just kind of ruined the moment. It usually does.
That night, when I got to work, I went up to Riley’s office to apologize for the mess Jillian made in his hot tub. Then I added, “And sorry, about messing things up for you and Ava. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Riley raised his eyebrows sardonically, “Are you sure about that?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it, turning red.
Riley let me sweat it out a second—just watched me silently as I shriveled up inside—then he let out a breath. “Okay, Jones. I accept your apology. Get back to work.”
I watched him shut the door to his office—him looking all sad and tortured—and I just stood there, frozen, reminding myself how in the hot tub I had planned to actually tell him how I felt. For real. I thought about doing that now, just knocking on his door and letting my feelings spill out—take a chance.
But … right before I actually knocked, I thought maybe I shouldn’t do it like this—get everything out in the open. Not yet. I should wait and talk to Finn first—tell him that it just didn’t seem to be working for us anymore. That maybe we should forget about the Free Pass thing and just plain old see other people for a while. Basically, you know, break up.
The thought made me sad … but not that sad. Not like it would have before this summer. Before this summer, I would have died without Finn. Or felt like I was dying. Now my heart just hurt a little. But I’d get over it. I knew that. My heart was already mending as it was.
But yeah, I figured I should tell Finn my feelings first—before Riley—because Finn was my boyfriend, and I owed him that. But, at least I had a plan now—finally. I’d be proactive. Instead of feeling sick and whiny inside, I’d take action. Finally.
The thought felt good.
But I didn’t feel so good after a second, ‘cause just then, Ava came rounding the corner, heading towards Riley’s office.
“Oh, look who it is,” she said all snide. “You try so hard to steal my boyfriend—you always have. The whole time Riley and I have been in a relationship you tried to act so innocent—like you didn’t notice him watching you. You’d tease him. Pretend like you didn’t have a clue he was watching you and your lame boyfriend snuggle and be all lovey-dovey-gross. You’re pathetic.”
She spewed all that out with venom, then put on a fake smile and waltzed into Riley’s office and clicked the door shut behind her.
I watched her go, ignoring everything she said, as it was just out of anger and bitterness. But from her phrase—“steal my boyfriend”—the word “boyfriend” was stuck in my head. She used it in reference to Riley. Was Riley really her boyfriend now? Did she really, truly actually choose Riley over College Boy—for real this time? Did she and Riley make up after the kids and I left his house this afternoon?
The thought made me feel sick—like, seriously ill. I was sweaty and shivery and had trouble holding things properly—like my serving tray and pen. I was shaking so bad they kept toppling out of my hands.
About an hour later, Ava finally left Riley’s office. She narrowed her eyes at me into tiny slits as she stormed past me in the kitchen, on her way out the back
But the way he was looking at me now … whoa.
Tingles ran through my body.
And suddenly I knew. Knew for sure. I really, truly, totally, sincerely had fallen for Riley. It wasn’t just a pathetic crush. Not something I could “get over.” It was real.
I took a deep breath. This was it.
I was going to open my mouth and spill it all out. Actually tell Riley what I was feeling. All of it. Totally. For real. That was my plan. Really. But just then …
Jillian puked in the hot tub.
***
No, I didn’t end up telling Riley how I felt. Grr! Puke just kind of ruined the moment. It usually does.
That night, when I got to work, I went up to Riley’s office to apologize for the mess Jillian made in his hot tub. Then I added, “And sorry, about messing things up for you and Ava. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Riley raised his eyebrows sardonically, “Are you sure about that?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it, turning red.
Riley let me sweat it out a second—just watched me silently as I shriveled up inside—then he let out a breath. “Okay, Jones. I accept your apology. Get back to work.”
I watched him shut the door to his office—him looking all sad and tortured—and I just stood there, frozen, reminding myself how in the hot tub I had planned to actually tell him how I felt. For real. I thought about doing that now, just knocking on his door and letting my feelings spill out—take a chance.
But … right before I actually knocked, I thought maybe I shouldn’t do it like this—get everything out in the open. Not yet. I should wait and talk to Finn first—tell him that it just didn’t seem to be working for us anymore. That maybe we should forget about the Free Pass thing and just plain old see other people for a while. Basically, you know, break up.
The thought made me sad … but not that sad. Not like it would have before this summer. Before this summer, I would have died without Finn. Or felt like I was dying. Now my heart just hurt a little. But I’d get over it. I knew that. My heart was already mending as it was.
But yeah, I figured I should tell Finn my feelings first—before Riley—because Finn was my boyfriend, and I owed him that. But, at least I had a plan now—finally. I’d be proactive. Instead of feeling sick and whiny inside, I’d take action. Finally.
The thought felt good.
But I didn’t feel so good after a second, ‘cause just then, Ava came rounding the corner, heading towards Riley’s office.
“Oh, look who it is,” she said all snide. “You try so hard to steal my boyfriend—you always have. The whole time Riley and I have been in a relationship you tried to act so innocent—like you didn’t notice him watching you. You’d tease him. Pretend like you didn’t have a clue he was watching you and your lame boyfriend snuggle and be all lovey-dovey-gross. You’re pathetic.”
She spewed all that out with venom, then put on a fake smile and waltzed into Riley’s office and clicked the door shut behind her.
I watched her go, ignoring everything she said, as it was just out of anger and bitterness. But from her phrase—“steal my boyfriend”—the word “boyfriend” was stuck in my head. She used it in reference to Riley. Was Riley really her boyfriend now? Did she really, truly actually choose Riley over College Boy—for real this time? Did she and Riley make up after the kids and I left his house this afternoon?
The thought made me feel sick—like, seriously ill. I was sweaty and shivery and had trouble holding things properly—like my serving tray and pen. I was shaking so bad they kept toppling out of my hands.
About an hour later, Ava finally left Riley’s office. She narrowed her eyes at me into tiny slits as she stormed past me in the kitchen, on her way out the back
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