the third man. I didn’t want to knock him out
before learning whether they were affiliated with my target or just hired help.
He eventually confirmed they were on a job, which told me the problem wasn’t as
bad as it could’ve been had my target been well connected.
Unfortunately that nugget of information was
followed up with an ‘it’s nothing personal’ comment as he took one
crucial second to plunge a concealed blade into me.
My only saving grace being that at the same
time I’d mirrored his action and stabbed him in his thigh with a knife from my
belt. I twisted the knife putting him in excruciating pain so he’d let go of
the handle immediately as he keeled over on the tarmac.
At some point my balaclava had come off but I’m
guessing the blood pissing out my face probably deemed me unrecognisable by
that point. Regardless, those three fuckers were sparked out on the floor
anyway.
The drive home was a bitch. I put the pedal to
the floor and focused on three things; 1) my breathing 2) getting home to call
Jack and 3) how I was going to deal with Beth.
I knew the injury wasn’t life threatening.
Those guys weren’t hired to kill me, they just intended to get me to back the
fuck off. If they’d meant to kill me, they would have brought a much more
effective weapon to the job. As it was, the blade barely reached my ribs and
the fact that the knife wasn’t ripped out of me meant that I didn’t lose a lot
of blood.
Jack said he’d come prepared for a blood
transfusion to help balance me out but thankfully it wasn’t even necessary.
I don’t know how I thought it’d be possible to
keep Beth away from me, I obviously wasn’t thinking straight. She took control
of the situation and, although I could’ve managed to call Jack myself and
inject that morphine, I was simply awestruck by everything she did for me.
Beth was a dream for me that night. I will
never forget it. No matter what.
When I finally got the balls to face her at the
sink, she took my breath away more than that knife ever did. My Little Miss
Contradiction emanated strength and vulnerability in equal measures. I felt her
warmth, how she’d give anything to protect me, it was a new feeling for me. She
knocked the winds out of my sails when, in her beautiful husky whisper, she
said that she’d fallen in love with me.
Ironically, the second the word ‘love’ left her
innocent trembling lips, my fucked up mind twisted it into nothing but hate by
the time it had settled in my ears.
I hated myself for letting Beth believe it was
true but I hated myself more for wanting to believe it was true myself. It
hadn’t taken much persuasion from me to convince her she didn’t mean it. We’ve
been on a manic rollercoaster together, she was just overwhelmed.
I felt sickened, ashamed of myself. The thought
of that guy pulling out the blade and me bleeding out in the road didn’t seem
like too much of a bad idea at that point.
By breaking my own boundaries, I’ve brought
Beth—innocent, beautiful Beth—to the edge of my shadows. I’m caught between a
rock and a hard place. The hard place residing very much between my legs and being
controlled more and more by my heart.
In the early hours of the morning, Jack and
Carmel managed to get me upstairs where I found Beth’s note. One look at Carmel
and I knew she’d done something. As far as she is concerned though, Beth is a
casual hook-up and it needs to stay that way. Carmel isn’t involved in my
personal life so the less she knows the better.
It was thoughtful that she came over with Jack but
also totally unnecessary. Other than once before, this was the first real time
that my two worlds have collided and it made me uneasy and anxious as hell.
Beth was gone but it was Carmel I didn’t want in my house, around all of my
personal shit.
Jack sensed my irritability, got the hint and
managed to eventually get rid of Carmel with a
before learning whether they were affiliated with my target or just hired help.
He eventually confirmed they were on a job, which told me the problem wasn’t as
bad as it could’ve been had my target been well connected.
Unfortunately that nugget of information was
followed up with an ‘it’s nothing personal’ comment as he took one
crucial second to plunge a concealed blade into me.
My only saving grace being that at the same
time I’d mirrored his action and stabbed him in his thigh with a knife from my
belt. I twisted the knife putting him in excruciating pain so he’d let go of
the handle immediately as he keeled over on the tarmac.
At some point my balaclava had come off but I’m
guessing the blood pissing out my face probably deemed me unrecognisable by
that point. Regardless, those three fuckers were sparked out on the floor
anyway.
The drive home was a bitch. I put the pedal to
the floor and focused on three things; 1) my breathing 2) getting home to call
Jack and 3) how I was going to deal with Beth.
I knew the injury wasn’t life threatening.
Those guys weren’t hired to kill me, they just intended to get me to back the
fuck off. If they’d meant to kill me, they would have brought a much more
effective weapon to the job. As it was, the blade barely reached my ribs and
the fact that the knife wasn’t ripped out of me meant that I didn’t lose a lot
of blood.
Jack said he’d come prepared for a blood
transfusion to help balance me out but thankfully it wasn’t even necessary.
I don’t know how I thought it’d be possible to
keep Beth away from me, I obviously wasn’t thinking straight. She took control
of the situation and, although I could’ve managed to call Jack myself and
inject that morphine, I was simply awestruck by everything she did for me.
Beth was a dream for me that night. I will
never forget it. No matter what.
When I finally got the balls to face her at the
sink, she took my breath away more than that knife ever did. My Little Miss
Contradiction emanated strength and vulnerability in equal measures. I felt her
warmth, how she’d give anything to protect me, it was a new feeling for me. She
knocked the winds out of my sails when, in her beautiful husky whisper, she
said that she’d fallen in love with me.
Ironically, the second the word ‘love’ left her
innocent trembling lips, my fucked up mind twisted it into nothing but hate by
the time it had settled in my ears.
I hated myself for letting Beth believe it was
true but I hated myself more for wanting to believe it was true myself. It
hadn’t taken much persuasion from me to convince her she didn’t mean it. We’ve
been on a manic rollercoaster together, she was just overwhelmed.
I felt sickened, ashamed of myself. The thought
of that guy pulling out the blade and me bleeding out in the road didn’t seem
like too much of a bad idea at that point.
By breaking my own boundaries, I’ve brought
Beth—innocent, beautiful Beth—to the edge of my shadows. I’m caught between a
rock and a hard place. The hard place residing very much between my legs and being
controlled more and more by my heart.
In the early hours of the morning, Jack and
Carmel managed to get me upstairs where I found Beth’s note. One look at Carmel
and I knew she’d done something. As far as she is concerned though, Beth is a
casual hook-up and it needs to stay that way. Carmel isn’t involved in my
personal life so the less she knows the better.
It was thoughtful that she came over with Jack but
also totally unnecessary. Other than once before, this was the first real time
that my two worlds have collided and it made me uneasy and anxious as hell.
Beth was gone but it was Carmel I didn’t want in my house, around all of my
personal shit.
Jack sensed my irritability, got the hint and
managed to eventually get rid of Carmel with a
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