couch, I say, “Am I in the way? Should I leave?”
“Don’t you dare. I haven’t forgotten about whatever it was you were about to tell me.”
I get to my feet. “That’s okay. I don’t want to impose on you and Andy.”
She pulls me back down. “Lily, stop running away. Don’t shut me out. Please. I’m your best friend and I care about you.”
I play with a loose thread on the hem of my T-shirt. “I know.”
“Do you have any idea what it’s been like for me? To have my best friend lose her sister and pull away from me? To not know what’s going on in your head. Not being able to help you. It’s killing me.”
“I’m sorry. I just…”
She places her hand on mine. “I know it’s hard to talk about it. But we’ve always told each other everything. Why do things have to change? I mean, I know I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but please help me understand. Talk to me.”
She’s right. I’ve pushed her away long enough. As much as this hurts, I need to get it out. Keeping my eyes on the carpet, I say, “I went to California to see my mom.”
“What? You went to California?”
I shift in my seat. “It was a…sudden thing.”
She nods slowly. “Okay. How did it go?”
I look at her, then away. My mouth opens and shuts. Macy holds my gaze, letting me take my time. She squeezes my arm, but it’s not making me feel better or this any easier. Tears burn my eyes and I find myself in her arms again. “What happened?”
“She…she threw me out.”
“What?”
I nod. “Wants nothing to do with me. That’s why she hasn’t been answering my texts or returning my calls.”
“I’m so sorry. We need to go back and—”
“It’s no use, Macy. She doesn’t want me in her life.”
Her eyes tear up. It looks like she doesn’t know what to say. She knew my mother well, like she was her second mom. That’s why she’s taking this so hard.
“It’s over,” I continue. “It’s like she doesn’t want to be my mother anymore.”
She rubs my back. “I doubt that’s true.”
I slowly move my eyes to her. “I’m sick of fighting it. Sick of all the rejection. If she doesn’t want us to be in each other’s lives then…then that’s how it has to be.”
“Lil—”
I hold up my hand. “ I need to accept that.” I inhale, then exhale. “And move on with my life.” As difficult as it’s going to be.
“A mother doesn’t do that. She’s not the Lauren I know.”
I try to shrug, but my shoulders are stiff. “You’re making this harder than it already is. I’m coming to terms with that. I need to.”
She gathers me into another hug. “She’ll come around. I know it.”
That’s what Sebastian told me. Having a few people reassure me like that doesn’t make me feel any better. Because their words are just that—words. I’ll believe it when I see it. For now, I’m going to have to deal. Tears pool in my eyes again, and I let them. Eventually, I’m going to have to be strong. Daisy wouldn’t want me to break down like this.
“Stay the night if you have to,” Macy says against my cheek. “Just don’t be alone.”
I said similar words to my mother last night. I want to tell Macy that I’m not alone. That I have a sensitive, caring, sweet genie waiting at home for me. But I can’t. Instead, I say, “No way. I’m not going to impose.”
She waves her hand. “Andy will understand. He’ll sleep on the couch or something.” She takes my hands. “I want to hang out with you today and for you to spend the night, please. Someone needs to be here for you and that person is going to be me.”
“Macy—”
“No,” she says. “I’m going to be a better friend to you.”
I stand up. “I appreciate this. Really I do. But I kind of want to be alone tonight.” I know I’m behaving like my mother, but I can’t handle this.
By the look on Macy’s face, I know she’s not going to make this easy. But I can’t sleep over. What do I do about
“Don’t you dare. I haven’t forgotten about whatever it was you were about to tell me.”
I get to my feet. “That’s okay. I don’t want to impose on you and Andy.”
She pulls me back down. “Lily, stop running away. Don’t shut me out. Please. I’m your best friend and I care about you.”
I play with a loose thread on the hem of my T-shirt. “I know.”
“Do you have any idea what it’s been like for me? To have my best friend lose her sister and pull away from me? To not know what’s going on in your head. Not being able to help you. It’s killing me.”
“I’m sorry. I just…”
She places her hand on mine. “I know it’s hard to talk about it. But we’ve always told each other everything. Why do things have to change? I mean, I know I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but please help me understand. Talk to me.”
She’s right. I’ve pushed her away long enough. As much as this hurts, I need to get it out. Keeping my eyes on the carpet, I say, “I went to California to see my mom.”
“What? You went to California?”
I shift in my seat. “It was a…sudden thing.”
She nods slowly. “Okay. How did it go?”
I look at her, then away. My mouth opens and shuts. Macy holds my gaze, letting me take my time. She squeezes my arm, but it’s not making me feel better or this any easier. Tears burn my eyes and I find myself in her arms again. “What happened?”
“She…she threw me out.”
“What?”
I nod. “Wants nothing to do with me. That’s why she hasn’t been answering my texts or returning my calls.”
“I’m so sorry. We need to go back and—”
“It’s no use, Macy. She doesn’t want me in her life.”
Her eyes tear up. It looks like she doesn’t know what to say. She knew my mother well, like she was her second mom. That’s why she’s taking this so hard.
“It’s over,” I continue. “It’s like she doesn’t want to be my mother anymore.”
She rubs my back. “I doubt that’s true.”
I slowly move my eyes to her. “I’m sick of fighting it. Sick of all the rejection. If she doesn’t want us to be in each other’s lives then…then that’s how it has to be.”
“Lil—”
I hold up my hand. “ I need to accept that.” I inhale, then exhale. “And move on with my life.” As difficult as it’s going to be.
“A mother doesn’t do that. She’s not the Lauren I know.”
I try to shrug, but my shoulders are stiff. “You’re making this harder than it already is. I’m coming to terms with that. I need to.”
She gathers me into another hug. “She’ll come around. I know it.”
That’s what Sebastian told me. Having a few people reassure me like that doesn’t make me feel any better. Because their words are just that—words. I’ll believe it when I see it. For now, I’m going to have to deal. Tears pool in my eyes again, and I let them. Eventually, I’m going to have to be strong. Daisy wouldn’t want me to break down like this.
“Stay the night if you have to,” Macy says against my cheek. “Just don’t be alone.”
I said similar words to my mother last night. I want to tell Macy that I’m not alone. That I have a sensitive, caring, sweet genie waiting at home for me. But I can’t. Instead, I say, “No way. I’m not going to impose.”
She waves her hand. “Andy will understand. He’ll sleep on the couch or something.” She takes my hands. “I want to hang out with you today and for you to spend the night, please. Someone needs to be here for you and that person is going to be me.”
“Macy—”
“No,” she says. “I’m going to be a better friend to you.”
I stand up. “I appreciate this. Really I do. But I kind of want to be alone tonight.” I know I’m behaving like my mother, but I can’t handle this.
By the look on Macy’s face, I know she’s not going to make this easy. But I can’t sleep over. What do I do about
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