Fallout by Ellen Hopkins Page A

happen.

TRAINS LIKE THIS
    Generally wreck sooner or later.
    So far so good, though.
    Grandfather has not missed
    the short pours of whiskey
    I’ve indulged in lately. They say
    liquor is quicker, and whiskey
    is definitely quicker than champagne
    when it comes to a good buzz.
    A shot or two, nothing scares me,
    nothing hurts me. I like how that feels.
    The weird thing is, Grandfather’s
    own drinking has waned. It’s as if
    the wedding planning has reduced
    his stress. I don’t understand why.
    I do know I’ll have to find a way
    to replace what I’ve taken from
    the liquor cabinet before he swings
    the other way again. Bound to happen
    after tomorrow. Once the wedding
    is over. The reception done,
    and Aunt Cora and Liam go off
    on their honeymoon, return
    to their new house in Austin.
    They decided to live there, near
    his family instead of hers (mine), go
    into business together. Massaging
    the uptight of Austin. That thought
    is good for another swallow. Hot
    liquid amber down my throat. Better.
    Almost good enough to deal
    with lingerie shopping. Aunt Cora
    should be here to pick me up
    any time. Okay, just a quick nip and
    then I’d better use some mouthwash.
    The worst thing about whiskey
    is the smell it leaves behind.

LISTERINE ROCKS
    Aunt Cora doesn’t notice a thing
    on the drive to the mall. I close
    my eyes, lean back into the seat,
absorbing radio music and traffic
music and the music of Aunt Cora’s
voice. Something about dresses.
Something about the hotel where
you get to stay tonight. Something
about pick you up at eleven sharp.
And something that really grabs
my attention. So, okay. Are we going
to meet your Bryce tomorrow?
    Just the name makes me smile.
    “Last time we talked, he promised
    he’d be there. On time, even.”
She laughs. You didn’t give him
a hard time, did you? I mean about
being punctual. No wedding starts
exactly when it’s supposed to.
There’s always some sort of delay.
Don’t know why that is, but it is.
    “If you say so.” Not like I’d have
    a clue. “I’ve never been to a wedding.”
    Not like she doesn’t know that.
    “Yours will be my first.” And hopefully
    not my last. I want one of my own
    before too very long. The amazing
    thing is Bryce hasn’t even asked
    about protection. Maybe he wants
    me to get pregnant too.
    “Are you going to have a baby?”
    Her smile drops away. “I don’t
    mean right now. But ever?”
She looks like she has something
she wants to tell me. But the mall
has suddenly reached our line
of sight. She perks up and says,
Who knows what the future might
bring? Let’s start with underwear.

UNDERWEAR SHOPPING
    Is likewise something I’ve never
done. Well, I mean Wal-Mart undie
    shopping is one thing. Upscale
bras and panties is all new.
    And radical. There are even
    salesladies who are trained to
fit you right, and tell you what kind
    of bra will flatter you best. It’s kind
of embarrassing. If it wasn’t for
    the whiskey, I’d be freaking out.
    Only problem is, now that it’s
wearing off some, I’m getting
    a headache. Hope it doesn’t
get worse. Anyway, Aunt Cora
    and I take our fancy understuff
    up to the counter. In her pile:
three stretch lace thongs, two gel
    underwires, and a teeny purple teddy,
for the honeymoon. In my pile: red
    velvet panties, matching push-up bra.

BOY, DOES THAT ADD UP
    Almost one hundred fifty big
    ones! “Uh, are you sure you can
    afford that? I can wear my old—”
Aunt Cora stops me. This day
is only going to happen once.
Besides … She reaches into
her wallet, fishes out a shiny new
credit card. Liam’s mom gave me
this. Said to get anything my little
heart desired. She knows Daddy
doesn’t have a bottomless bank
account. I guess she does.
    I think back to Thanksgiving and
    the Cregan place. Big house.
    Nice furniture. Pretty backyard.
    Pricey (if unremarkable) neighborhood,
    the same one where Aunt Cora
    and Liam will live, thanks to a big
    down payment wedding gift.
    Aunt Cora will be