sighed.
Without prompting, the hostess volunteered that during the first rehearsal for Mame , director Karen Richards had taken issue with her Irish brogue. “Lovely woman, but don’t tell me how to speak my lines with an accent, Irish or French or German or Russian. I excel in all of them,” Charlotte said. “Hell, Marlene Dietrich is living up here.” She pointed to her temple. “I’m not usually so adamant about anything. But don’t tell me that I should practice with a dialect tape!”
“God only knows why directors cast us if they’re not going to let us do what we are hired to do!” Polly said. “What did Karen say?”
Charlotte took another sip of wine. “Karen let it pass. After all, I’m not usually a tantrum-throwing Michael Richards. I was about to apologize when you came in and rushed the stage. Now I feel guilty that I never had an opportunity to tell her that I was sorry for acting like an amateur.”
Polly shook her head. “I’m positive that she didn’t give it another thought. Her bio says she directed Kelly Ripa in Ain’t Misbehavin’ . Surely in your worst moments your fits couldn’t compare to her rumored legendary flare-ups.”
Charlotte put a hand on Polly’s shoulder and sighed. “I wish that I could be more like you. Everybody in the business adores Polly Pepper. She never makes a fuss. Never makes a false move, publicity-wise. No scandals. How do you do it?”
“Champagne,” Polly deadpanned. “There’s nothing like inebriation to make you forget what you’ve done. Kidding of course,” she quickly added. “But speaking of problems, Sharon Fletcher has a big one. I’m all for stringing her up, but Tim and Placenta over there have their doubts about her guilt.”
Tim and Placenta glanced at each other. “These nonprofessionals don’t know what a dog-eat-dog business we’re in,” Polly said. “You and I both know that some people in this town will do anything—including bludgeon a director to death—to secure a role. Stranger things have happened. It goes further back than Fatty Arbuckle and the famous Coke bottle! However, I do agree that there are a few unanswered questions, like why would Sharon be summoned to the theater so early in the morning? Okay, so she was going to be fired, and perhaps Karen wanted to spare her the embarrassment of being given the news in front of others. Or she didn’t want to give her the news over the phone. Still, Tim and Placenta seem to think that doesn’t make sense. Go figure. What do you think?”
Charlotte looked at Tim and Placenta as if they were morons. “Anyone who has watched Sharon Fletcher’s soap opera knows that she’s capable of murder. She killed a couple of ex-lovers and a maid who forgot to clean the lint tray in the clothes dryer. Kinda like Naomi Campbell without the anger management classes. She’s a real-life phony baloney, for sure. I don’t buy her off-camera sweet-as-pie act one teensy bit.”
Placenta nodded. “Only the Lord knows what’s in Sharon’s heart. But before I judge the girl as guilty, I need to see some hard facts, not just circumstantial evidence.”
“I’m the last one to cast aspersions,” Charlotte said, “but I think a jury would have an easy time convicting Sharon. She had motive, means, and opportunity. She was disgruntled over being fired. The blood all over her Emmy was Karen’s. She was alone in the theater with Karen. It seems like a slam-dunk case for the district attorney.”
“Absolutely! I couldn’t agree more,” Polly said. “Don’t forget that she lied to the police and that her fingerprints and Karen’s were the only ones found on the bloodied Emmy. And I’ll testify that her car was in the theater parking lot at the approximate time of the murder. But so was Gerold’s. Do you buy his alibi? Out walking?”
“No reason not to.”
“On that lovely note…” Polly rose from Shelley Winters’s sofa. “We both need our rest so we’ll be in top
Without prompting, the hostess volunteered that during the first rehearsal for Mame , director Karen Richards had taken issue with her Irish brogue. “Lovely woman, but don’t tell me how to speak my lines with an accent, Irish or French or German or Russian. I excel in all of them,” Charlotte said. “Hell, Marlene Dietrich is living up here.” She pointed to her temple. “I’m not usually so adamant about anything. But don’t tell me that I should practice with a dialect tape!”
“God only knows why directors cast us if they’re not going to let us do what we are hired to do!” Polly said. “What did Karen say?”
Charlotte took another sip of wine. “Karen let it pass. After all, I’m not usually a tantrum-throwing Michael Richards. I was about to apologize when you came in and rushed the stage. Now I feel guilty that I never had an opportunity to tell her that I was sorry for acting like an amateur.”
Polly shook her head. “I’m positive that she didn’t give it another thought. Her bio says she directed Kelly Ripa in Ain’t Misbehavin’ . Surely in your worst moments your fits couldn’t compare to her rumored legendary flare-ups.”
Charlotte put a hand on Polly’s shoulder and sighed. “I wish that I could be more like you. Everybody in the business adores Polly Pepper. She never makes a fuss. Never makes a false move, publicity-wise. No scandals. How do you do it?”
“Champagne,” Polly deadpanned. “There’s nothing like inebriation to make you forget what you’ve done. Kidding of course,” she quickly added. “But speaking of problems, Sharon Fletcher has a big one. I’m all for stringing her up, but Tim and Placenta over there have their doubts about her guilt.”
Tim and Placenta glanced at each other. “These nonprofessionals don’t know what a dog-eat-dog business we’re in,” Polly said. “You and I both know that some people in this town will do anything—including bludgeon a director to death—to secure a role. Stranger things have happened. It goes further back than Fatty Arbuckle and the famous Coke bottle! However, I do agree that there are a few unanswered questions, like why would Sharon be summoned to the theater so early in the morning? Okay, so she was going to be fired, and perhaps Karen wanted to spare her the embarrassment of being given the news in front of others. Or she didn’t want to give her the news over the phone. Still, Tim and Placenta seem to think that doesn’t make sense. Go figure. What do you think?”
Charlotte looked at Tim and Placenta as if they were morons. “Anyone who has watched Sharon Fletcher’s soap opera knows that she’s capable of murder. She killed a couple of ex-lovers and a maid who forgot to clean the lint tray in the clothes dryer. Kinda like Naomi Campbell without the anger management classes. She’s a real-life phony baloney, for sure. I don’t buy her off-camera sweet-as-pie act one teensy bit.”
Placenta nodded. “Only the Lord knows what’s in Sharon’s heart. But before I judge the girl as guilty, I need to see some hard facts, not just circumstantial evidence.”
“I’m the last one to cast aspersions,” Charlotte said, “but I think a jury would have an easy time convicting Sharon. She had motive, means, and opportunity. She was disgruntled over being fired. The blood all over her Emmy was Karen’s. She was alone in the theater with Karen. It seems like a slam-dunk case for the district attorney.”
“Absolutely! I couldn’t agree more,” Polly said. “Don’t forget that she lied to the police and that her fingerprints and Karen’s were the only ones found on the bloodied Emmy. And I’ll testify that her car was in the theater parking lot at the approximate time of the murder. But so was Gerold’s. Do you buy his alibi? Out walking?”
“No reason not to.”
“On that lovely note…” Polly rose from Shelley Winters’s sofa. “We both need our rest so we’ll be in top
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