do. This girl is getting my insides all riled up and turning me into a complete moron. And you know what the best part is?” I take a moment to ponder Jack’s reaction. He’s going to laugh his ass off when I tell him.
“What’s the best part, man?”
“I’ve never even met her!”
Jack’s eyes practically bug out of his head as he whips his head back then forward. “You’ve never even met her? Oh, this is fresh. Wait—don’t tell me she’s a fucking figment of your imagination? She’s real … right?” The look of sheer panic on his face is classic. “Is this like an online dating thing, or did you go on that porn site again?”
“Shut up, ass hat! She’s real, and she’s amazing.” I smack him on the side of his head. “Her name’s Sam, and she’s Jenny’s friend. She’s moving here next week.” I can feel my body heat up and pulse quicken. “I’m sweating and shaking like I’m back in fucking junior high. I’ve only heard her voice, and it’s incredible. Hearing her is like being home, and I haven’t been home in a long time.”
“Wow, dude, that’s fucking beautiful. Are you a poet now?” I reach out and smack him again.
“Dude, I’m joking! Seriously, I’m happy for you. It’s time.”
“I know it’s time, but what do I do? I have no fucking clue. I feel defeated, and I haven’t started the match yet.” I lower my body down further into the booth.
“That’s it, man. Think of it as a rugby match. Get your head in the scrum and drive it until the ball comes out. Just keep pushing until the words you want to say come out. Cross over that goal line; talk and the rest will play out.”
I smile at his stupid analogy, but it kind of makes sense. I play hard to win, and if I keep my head down and push the scrum forward, I can drive forward. I just need to talk to her. It all starts with talking, as long as I don’t turn into some blathering fool. Beth’s face makes a quick appearance in my thoughts, but I quickly shake my head to get her out. It’s time to make this work. God, I hope it works.
The airplane engines start to slow down their winding speed as we approach the runway. I take another quick glance out the window and look at my new home. I can’t believe I did it. I actually picked up and moved. The nausea that I’ve been fighting for the past two weeks pushes my stomach into an uproar. I stomp down the urge to toss my cookies in the complimentary barf bag.
Instead, I try to focus on my breathing to keep the queasiness at bay. It seems to take forever to get to the gate. My knees bounce uncontrollably as I wait for the plane to stop.
As soon as the flight attendant gives the go ahead, people all around are reaching for their cell phones and powering them on. It’s like an addict getting a hit. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m one of them. I look down and notice I have a missed call from Jenny.
I make my way off the plane, trying to balance my over-packed backpack and small suitcase in one hand as I creep along the aisle. Shit, I packed way too much in this bag. It’s awkward and heavy. I leave a trail of apologies as I whack just about everyone I pass.
Once I exit the gate, I find a place to sit and organize my belongings and press the button on my phone. Just when I thought the urge to vomit is over, it decides to make an ugly appearance again.
I consider myself a fairly calm person, and it takes a lot to piss me off, but right now, the image of murdering my best friend plays out vividly in my mind.
I replay the message again just to make sure my ears aren’t blocked from the flight. Nope, ears are working fine, but she can’t pick me up. Even better, she’s sending her brother to get me. Fan-fucking-tastic! I’m not only meeting Ben today, but I have to sit next to him for the next two hours to Napa. Hmm, I wonder what we’ll talk about. Oh wait, I know. ‘Hey Ben, guess what? Did you know that I get myself off to you pretty
“What’s the best part, man?”
“I’ve never even met her!”
Jack’s eyes practically bug out of his head as he whips his head back then forward. “You’ve never even met her? Oh, this is fresh. Wait—don’t tell me she’s a fucking figment of your imagination? She’s real … right?” The look of sheer panic on his face is classic. “Is this like an online dating thing, or did you go on that porn site again?”
“Shut up, ass hat! She’s real, and she’s amazing.” I smack him on the side of his head. “Her name’s Sam, and she’s Jenny’s friend. She’s moving here next week.” I can feel my body heat up and pulse quicken. “I’m sweating and shaking like I’m back in fucking junior high. I’ve only heard her voice, and it’s incredible. Hearing her is like being home, and I haven’t been home in a long time.”
“Wow, dude, that’s fucking beautiful. Are you a poet now?” I reach out and smack him again.
“Dude, I’m joking! Seriously, I’m happy for you. It’s time.”
“I know it’s time, but what do I do? I have no fucking clue. I feel defeated, and I haven’t started the match yet.” I lower my body down further into the booth.
“That’s it, man. Think of it as a rugby match. Get your head in the scrum and drive it until the ball comes out. Just keep pushing until the words you want to say come out. Cross over that goal line; talk and the rest will play out.”
I smile at his stupid analogy, but it kind of makes sense. I play hard to win, and if I keep my head down and push the scrum forward, I can drive forward. I just need to talk to her. It all starts with talking, as long as I don’t turn into some blathering fool. Beth’s face makes a quick appearance in my thoughts, but I quickly shake my head to get her out. It’s time to make this work. God, I hope it works.
The airplane engines start to slow down their winding speed as we approach the runway. I take another quick glance out the window and look at my new home. I can’t believe I did it. I actually picked up and moved. The nausea that I’ve been fighting for the past two weeks pushes my stomach into an uproar. I stomp down the urge to toss my cookies in the complimentary barf bag.
Instead, I try to focus on my breathing to keep the queasiness at bay. It seems to take forever to get to the gate. My knees bounce uncontrollably as I wait for the plane to stop.
As soon as the flight attendant gives the go ahead, people all around are reaching for their cell phones and powering them on. It’s like an addict getting a hit. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m one of them. I look down and notice I have a missed call from Jenny.
I make my way off the plane, trying to balance my over-packed backpack and small suitcase in one hand as I creep along the aisle. Shit, I packed way too much in this bag. It’s awkward and heavy. I leave a trail of apologies as I whack just about everyone I pass.
Once I exit the gate, I find a place to sit and organize my belongings and press the button on my phone. Just when I thought the urge to vomit is over, it decides to make an ugly appearance again.
I consider myself a fairly calm person, and it takes a lot to piss me off, but right now, the image of murdering my best friend plays out vividly in my mind.
I replay the message again just to make sure my ears aren’t blocked from the flight. Nope, ears are working fine, but she can’t pick me up. Even better, she’s sending her brother to get me. Fan-fucking-tastic! I’m not only meeting Ben today, but I have to sit next to him for the next two hours to Napa. Hmm, I wonder what we’ll talk about. Oh wait, I know. ‘Hey Ben, guess what? Did you know that I get myself off to you pretty
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