kissing Kyle had been the last thing on my mind but as the night progressed and I got to know him a little more, I realized he was exactly my type. I was attracted to him. It appeared he was attracted to me. He hadn’t been going to take advantage of me. All he wanted to do was end the night with a goodnight kiss and I had fled. What the hell was wrong with me?
In the solitude of the cabin, I let my heart bleed. My body shook as I curled in on myself. The unfairness of it all. Falling for such a creep all those years ago. Marrying him even though my parents had warned me against it because they had seen something in John I hadn’t. Allowing myself to suffer for so long, giving away all my power to that creature. How had I allowed it? Did I think so little of myself? God, I was such an idiot.
The new emotions I was feeling about Kyle already felt like they were being robbed from me.
I’d let my guard down tonight and now as apprehension ripped into me, I felt confused and lost. I rested my head on the timber floor, lying on my side, knees pulled in to my chest, wishing the answers would come.
Hearing a knock at the door, I didn’t want to answer it for fear it was Kyle. I didn’t think I could face him after the way the night had ended so abruptly. He’d probably come back to tell me he never wanted anything to do with me ever again. I couldn’t blame him.
“Hello, Dakota? It’s Ramah! Are you okay? I was walking past and heard you screaming. Can I come in?”
“I’m all right. I’m just feeling a little sick. I think I ate too much at dinner.” I hoped the woman didn’t hear my strained voice as I tried to subdue my sobs.
For a minute there was silence and I thought I got rid of her but she knocked again. “Come on, honey. Open the door. You don’t sound all right. You sound upset.”
Damn! I really didn’t need this. Someone discovering that I was really an emotional wreck and having to explain why.
“Go away. I’ll be fine.” It was a little rude but I really didn’t feel like company.
Ramah was obviously not being deterred, though.
Listening, I heard the handle turn and realized I hadn’t locked the door. I tried to sit up and reach for the lock before the door opened but I was too late.
Ramah pushed her way in, a look of surprise and concern on her face as she quickly moved to where I sat. She was comforting me in seconds.
“Whatever is the matter, Dakota? Did you collapse?”
“No.” I barely got the word out. “I just…”
“I saw you leave the restaurant with Kyle. Did he do something to you?”
Thinking about Kyle made the tears flow again. “No. He didn’t.” I sobbed into Ramah’s shoulder as she held me on the floor. “He…he did everything r-right. We had a perfect evening together.”
I stopped to gasp a breath of air, feeling embarrassed that I was blubbering like a child on someone’s shoulder I had only met the previous day.
“Whatever has got you so upset, then?”
“I…ruined everything. I’m so screwed up.”
“Come on. Let’s get you off this floor and onto the bed, then you can tell me everything.”
I didn’t know how much to share as I let her pick me up and help me over to the bed. She sat down next to me, taking both my hands in hers. I briefly looked at her face through tear-stained eyes and saw her nod to me as if to continue.
“He was about to kiss me goodnight…I wouldn’t let him. I feel terrible.”
“Well, dear, what was the matter? Didn’t you want him to kiss you?”
“Oh Ramah,” I wailed louder. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m here on this island to mend my heart after living with an abuser all of my married life. He almost killed me, so as a gift, my parents paid for this trip to help me heal. I came here not to find romance but to find myself again.” I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand, needing a tissue to wipe my nose. “Would you mind grabbing me a tissue off the table?” I asked, pointing to
In the solitude of the cabin, I let my heart bleed. My body shook as I curled in on myself. The unfairness of it all. Falling for such a creep all those years ago. Marrying him even though my parents had warned me against it because they had seen something in John I hadn’t. Allowing myself to suffer for so long, giving away all my power to that creature. How had I allowed it? Did I think so little of myself? God, I was such an idiot.
The new emotions I was feeling about Kyle already felt like they were being robbed from me.
I’d let my guard down tonight and now as apprehension ripped into me, I felt confused and lost. I rested my head on the timber floor, lying on my side, knees pulled in to my chest, wishing the answers would come.
Hearing a knock at the door, I didn’t want to answer it for fear it was Kyle. I didn’t think I could face him after the way the night had ended so abruptly. He’d probably come back to tell me he never wanted anything to do with me ever again. I couldn’t blame him.
“Hello, Dakota? It’s Ramah! Are you okay? I was walking past and heard you screaming. Can I come in?”
“I’m all right. I’m just feeling a little sick. I think I ate too much at dinner.” I hoped the woman didn’t hear my strained voice as I tried to subdue my sobs.
For a minute there was silence and I thought I got rid of her but she knocked again. “Come on, honey. Open the door. You don’t sound all right. You sound upset.”
Damn! I really didn’t need this. Someone discovering that I was really an emotional wreck and having to explain why.
“Go away. I’ll be fine.” It was a little rude but I really didn’t feel like company.
Ramah was obviously not being deterred, though.
Listening, I heard the handle turn and realized I hadn’t locked the door. I tried to sit up and reach for the lock before the door opened but I was too late.
Ramah pushed her way in, a look of surprise and concern on her face as she quickly moved to where I sat. She was comforting me in seconds.
“Whatever is the matter, Dakota? Did you collapse?”
“No.” I barely got the word out. “I just…”
“I saw you leave the restaurant with Kyle. Did he do something to you?”
Thinking about Kyle made the tears flow again. “No. He didn’t.” I sobbed into Ramah’s shoulder as she held me on the floor. “He…he did everything r-right. We had a perfect evening together.”
I stopped to gasp a breath of air, feeling embarrassed that I was blubbering like a child on someone’s shoulder I had only met the previous day.
“Whatever has got you so upset, then?”
“I…ruined everything. I’m so screwed up.”
“Come on. Let’s get you off this floor and onto the bed, then you can tell me everything.”
I didn’t know how much to share as I let her pick me up and help me over to the bed. She sat down next to me, taking both my hands in hers. I briefly looked at her face through tear-stained eyes and saw her nod to me as if to continue.
“He was about to kiss me goodnight…I wouldn’t let him. I feel terrible.”
“Well, dear, what was the matter? Didn’t you want him to kiss you?”
“Oh Ramah,” I wailed louder. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m here on this island to mend my heart after living with an abuser all of my married life. He almost killed me, so as a gift, my parents paid for this trip to help me heal. I came here not to find romance but to find myself again.” I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand, needing a tissue to wipe my nose. “Would you mind grabbing me a tissue off the table?” I asked, pointing to
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