FindingRelease by Debra Smith

Chapter One
     
    Nine years of believing. Nine years of denying the truth. No
longer. The package would arrive, and everything could—no, would change. She
told herself over and over. Her therapist reasoned her feelings were nothing to
be ashamed of. Doubt still plagued her. What if what she needed proved too much
for her husband?
    She couldn’t pretend anymore. Afternoon light spilled
through the window while she checked her driveway for what felt like the
hundredth time. A sigh rushed past her lips. Other options played across her
mind like a black-and-white movie. If she couldn’t convince him, maybe they
could try a special kind of therapist.
    She brought her trembling hand to her side and formed a
fist. She needed to be strong. Tonight he would be home. Tonight she would ask
him for what she needed. Only praying he wouldn’t deny her. Was she wrong for
wanting this? Maybe. It didn’t matter.
    Eva moved to sit on the edge of her couch, her heart
hammering in her chest.
    She closed her eyes as heat pooled between her legs. Her
body wanted it even if her mind wasn’t sure. Time for something new in the
bedroom. Years of the same had taken their toll. She’d finally realized what
she wanted, what she craved.
    Starting out slow, she’d ordered some new toys from the
internet. Her breath came out in soft pants as she pictured their uses. A
blindfold, an under-the-bed restraint system and a small, shiver-inducing butt
plug. A knowing smile crossed her lips at the last word. Something so
ridiculously named brought such warmth to her body.
    She’d spent the week getting ready. Though tempted to find
her own release, she refused to give in. Afraid it would spoil the pleasure
with her husband.
    Instead, she received a Brazilian wax from the local spa.
Something she was sure didn’t happen often in her small town. God, she hoped
the woman would keep her mouth shut. Later Eva would be bold in her newfound
sexual desires but now with them so new, so unrealized, she was worried, maybe
even afraid.
    Nine years she’d lied to her husband. Minimal sexual
experience and misguided love had been the cause. Eva fought the stinging in
her eyes. How was she going to tell him the truth?
    That in nine long years, he’d never brought her to orgasm.
That everything had been faked. Maybe something was wrong with her. She didn’t
know for sure but she craved sex with her husband. Centering in her fantasies,
his body was all lean strength, smooth, tan skin and solid lines. His
dirty-blond hair and compelling blue eyes held her under his brand of masculine
allure.
    If he refused she would lose faith. Maybe, just maybe, he
would want the same. Sometimes he whispered dirty things to her in the throes
of lust, bringing her so frustratingly close to coming she wanted to claw and
scratch in frustration. He hinted about fucking her in the ass. Secretly
tempting and disturbing her.
    It didn’t feel normal. Foreign desires brought her to this
place, a crossroads. Her gaze strayed to the clock above her flat screen. Two
more hours ’til he would walk over the threshold of their home. Seeming like a
lifetime away and mere seconds at the same time.
    A knock sounded at the door, making her heart jump inside
her chest as if she were caught doing something wrong. Brushing her hands along
the tops of her jeans, she smoothed nonexistent wrinkles, buying time to calm
her wild heart. She opened the door, greeted the smiling deliveryman, took her
package and with that, the man strolled down the path and drove off. Eva
blinked as she realized she was still staring at the area where his truck once
sat. The box, a light weight and a heavy burden, rested on her hip.
    Goodness, she needed to focus and find a way to pass the
time. Her gaze found its way to the clock again. One hour and forty-five
minutes ’til he was home.
    Finding her way to the kitchen, she placed her future on the
table and busied herself with the normalcy of cooking Justin’s favorite