nasty malady.
A ‘Top’-rated Show
By Ashlynn Kenzie and Devlin O’Neill
Breschetta Fontaine, host of top-rated TV talk show “Personal Preference” (and real-life BRAT): “Ladies and gentlemen, join me in welcoming Professor Devlin O’Neill — author, actor, Website host, educator, and behavioral therapist — to the show this evening.”
(Polite applause, in accordance with prop card directives, as O’Neill strides confidently onstage, attired in a pale blue long-sleeve broadcloth shirt, crisp jeans accented by an inch-wide belt in soft brown leather, a casual-cut light-weight beige jacket, and brown suede boots with tasteful silver buckles over the ankle bone. The very blonde and very green-eyed Fontaine extends a languid hand in greeting and then waves O’Neill to the guest couch, taking a seat at right angles to him.)
Fontaine: “Now, Professor O’Neill, tell us a little about yourself.”
O’Neill: “Well, I —”
Fontaine: “About your books, I mean. I believe you have two currently on the New York Times best-seller list.”
O’Neill: “That’s right. The first —”
(Reaching in front of O’Neill and obscuring him from the camera, Breschetta Fontaine seizes the books from the set’s coffee table, where they have been positioned for her to display, but instead of holding them toward the camera for a close-up, she deposits them facedown in her lap.)
Fontaine: “Some people are rather surprised to find your books on that list, I must say, Professor.”
O’Neill smiles politely and tries to address the audience. The host arches an eyebrow and favors him with a condescending stare, interrupting her guest yet again.
Fontaine: “Some people wonder, Professor — and, by the way, is that an honorary title?”
O’Neill: “No, it isn’t, Miss Fontaine. I earned three degrees and have been on the faculty of —”
Fontaine: “If you insist, Mr. O’Neill. Now on to your books. Don’t you have to admit that the titles are — let’s be honest here — little more than overworked clichés?
O’Neill: “On the contrary, I think they speak to —”
Fontaine: “You say that with a straight face, Mr. O’Neill. I am amazed, quite frankly. Surely you could have been more creative than ‘At the Top of His Game’ and — what’s the follow-up? Oh, yes, ‘Hitting Bottom and Loving It.’”
She turns to the audience and rolls her eyes. There are scattered sniggers. The Professor considers her politely, but the muscle in his jaw insists on clenching briefly. He makes another attempt to discuss his work. Alas …
Fontaine: “This appears to be a book very much directed toward men, Mr. O’Neill. Most people are aware that better than half the population is female and women make up more than 60 percent of the book market in this country. So why this approach? Did you deliberately set out to ignore women, or were you simply ignorant of the demographics?”
O’Neill: “Actually, Miss Fontaine, the books were written as instructive for both men and women in dealing with —”
Fontaine: “So you say. However, let me quote from page twelve in your first effort: ‘A man who refuses to confront such a situation smack-on and take charge is asking for trouble in the future, since he will have sent a clear signal to the lady in his life that he is unable or unwilling to offer her what she is clearly requesting.’ You seriously contend there is a message for women here? Isn’t this just a little behind the times? I mean, women clearly are no longer willing to be thought of in such condescending fashion.”
O’Neill: “Certainly there is a message for women, and a valuable one, I might add. I have applied the advice I give in the book in hundreds of situations where it was important to get to the bottom …”
The host interrupts again with a dismissive wave of her hand.
Fontaine: “And then there’s this, from the follow-up volume: ‘While it may be painful to
A ‘Top’-rated Show
By Ashlynn Kenzie and Devlin O’Neill
Breschetta Fontaine, host of top-rated TV talk show “Personal Preference” (and real-life BRAT): “Ladies and gentlemen, join me in welcoming Professor Devlin O’Neill — author, actor, Website host, educator, and behavioral therapist — to the show this evening.”
(Polite applause, in accordance with prop card directives, as O’Neill strides confidently onstage, attired in a pale blue long-sleeve broadcloth shirt, crisp jeans accented by an inch-wide belt in soft brown leather, a casual-cut light-weight beige jacket, and brown suede boots with tasteful silver buckles over the ankle bone. The very blonde and very green-eyed Fontaine extends a languid hand in greeting and then waves O’Neill to the guest couch, taking a seat at right angles to him.)
Fontaine: “Now, Professor O’Neill, tell us a little about yourself.”
O’Neill: “Well, I —”
Fontaine: “About your books, I mean. I believe you have two currently on the New York Times best-seller list.”
O’Neill: “That’s right. The first —”
(Reaching in front of O’Neill and obscuring him from the camera, Breschetta Fontaine seizes the books from the set’s coffee table, where they have been positioned for her to display, but instead of holding them toward the camera for a close-up, she deposits them facedown in her lap.)
Fontaine: “Some people are rather surprised to find your books on that list, I must say, Professor.”
O’Neill smiles politely and tries to address the audience. The host arches an eyebrow and favors him with a condescending stare, interrupting her guest yet again.
Fontaine: “Some people wonder, Professor — and, by the way, is that an honorary title?”
O’Neill: “No, it isn’t, Miss Fontaine. I earned three degrees and have been on the faculty of —”
Fontaine: “If you insist, Mr. O’Neill. Now on to your books. Don’t you have to admit that the titles are — let’s be honest here — little more than overworked clichés?
O’Neill: “On the contrary, I think they speak to —”
Fontaine: “You say that with a straight face, Mr. O’Neill. I am amazed, quite frankly. Surely you could have been more creative than ‘At the Top of His Game’ and — what’s the follow-up? Oh, yes, ‘Hitting Bottom and Loving It.’”
She turns to the audience and rolls her eyes. There are scattered sniggers. The Professor considers her politely, but the muscle in his jaw insists on clenching briefly. He makes another attempt to discuss his work. Alas …
Fontaine: “This appears to be a book very much directed toward men, Mr. O’Neill. Most people are aware that better than half the population is female and women make up more than 60 percent of the book market in this country. So why this approach? Did you deliberately set out to ignore women, or were you simply ignorant of the demographics?”
O’Neill: “Actually, Miss Fontaine, the books were written as instructive for both men and women in dealing with —”
Fontaine: “So you say. However, let me quote from page twelve in your first effort: ‘A man who refuses to confront such a situation smack-on and take charge is asking for trouble in the future, since he will have sent a clear signal to the lady in his life that he is unable or unwilling to offer her what she is clearly requesting.’ You seriously contend there is a message for women here? Isn’t this just a little behind the times? I mean, women clearly are no longer willing to be thought of in such condescending fashion.”
O’Neill: “Certainly there is a message for women, and a valuable one, I might add. I have applied the advice I give in the book in hundreds of situations where it was important to get to the bottom …”
The host interrupts again with a dismissive wave of her hand.
Fontaine: “And then there’s this, from the follow-up volume: ‘While it may be painful to
Similar Books
