Fire and Forget by Matt Gallagher Page A

down. “Meet me for a cup of coffee. A harmless little cup, at this place I know that serves the best damn brunch you ever tasted. Then maybe we’ll hit the new Goya exhibit at the Blanton. C’mon. Call me.”
    Evie didn’t call but a few days later she went to the Blanton Art Museum, wearing a blue dress and a pair of heels, glancing too often over her shoulder. She kept his message, replaying it now and then, not deleting it until the eve of Colin’s return. She waited for him to call again, knowing the next time she’d answer.
    Emotional changes occur for all family members during and after deployments. A spouse’s expectations about a soldier’s emotionalinvolvement upon return may not be met. It can be a challenge for a soldier to turn emotions back on after controlling them for a year. The soldier may initially show only anger or detachment. It may take time for the soldier to feel comfortable enough to establish a full emotional range.
    Colin and Evie sit by themselves on the ride back to shore. Evie feels sick. The boat had erupted in shouts, one of the newlyweds had fainted, and the captain had muttered a string of obscenities when Colin hefted himself back onboard. There was even more chaos after that: passengers yelling at the captain, at each other, the captain threatening to turn back to shore unless “you crazy haoles calm the hell down.” Then the tentative peace as the other couples went into the shark cage and came back quickly, while Evie shivered in her towel and refused to let Colin put his arm around her.
    â€œDid you take a picture?” he asks, unable to stop grinning.
    â€œ Take a picture ? I thought you were going to die.” Her chest hurts, her heart still thrashing against its walls as if it will never beat calmly again. “If one of your soldiers did that, you wouldn’t be smiling.” Her throat fills as if she is back in the ocean, her eyes haze over, and she is crying so convulsively she can barely speak. “Dammnit, Colin.” She rubs her towel across the mess of her face, not caring if anyone on the boat can hear her. “I was scared enough when you were deployed. I shouldn’t have to be scared when I’m right next to you, watching you do something reckless and stupid.”
    Colin puts his hand on her knee, his grin gone. “OK,” he says simply. “Roger that.”
    But a few moments later, when her shuddering slows, when they can see land and the flags of the marina in the distance, he is defensive. “It was bullshit, Evie,” he says. “Can’t you see that? I had to prove these jackasses wrong.” He struggles to find the rightwords, lowering his voice. “I’ve seen kid toys loaded with explosives, snipers hiding in an elementary school. I’ve been in a Humvee with soldiers singing ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ and a second later it was upside down, full of fire and screams.” He motions his thumb over his shoulder. “That, back there? That wasn’t anything to be afraid of. That was nothing but a bunch of fat fish having lunch.”
    During the deployment, both of you may have needed reassurance that your spouse was committed to the relationship; these reassurances are still important post-deployment. Most marriages survive deployments but the issue of loyalty and commitment must be mutual for your relationship to remain resilient.
    They stop for a bag of burgers and a six-pack then head to the hotel. Evie opens the curtains wide so they can see the sunset. Colin takes his damp clothes off, slips into a pair of boxers, and climbs on top of the bed. He plumps the pillows behind his head, rests a burger on his stomach, and scrolls through the television channels with the remote control. Evie cracks open a beer and hands it to him. “You want to sit out on the lanai with me? We can watch the sunset while we eat.”
    â€œI’m great here,” he says,