Flame Thrower by Alice Wade Page B

more to this than Tillian let on but ignored it. “Princess, you’ve been through a tremendous ordeal. We all understand. Those lashings happened before your kidnapping if I judge the timing correctly. I don’t doubt you were braver then than you are now. It’s normal. You’ve been through numerous torments since then which give you a freedom to feel what you feel now.”
    Tillian groaned. She hung her head, shaking it a few times before she looked back to Edda. She hated crying, hated feeling this weepy. Her head shake forced the tears back behind a wall of numbness. “It’s just embarrassing to fall apart so completely before others and a neighboring king no less!”
    “Pah. All that regal nonsense makes me angry. You are a human being, Princess. You feel emotions, and you feel pain. So, feel them in order to accept them. Once you do, you can move on and heal.”
    Edda’s words caused a single tear to form in the corner of her eye, and Tillian did her best to hold it back to no avail. There was no healing from this. No amount of time would cure her of her conflicting emotions on the topic. She was ruined. The lone tear broke free and slide down her cheek anyway.
    Edda thankfully let it go unnoticed and continued as if it never appeared. She checked Tillian’s pulse and eyes again by standing directly before her and holding her head in both hands. “You’ve been given a large dose of some drug, do you know what it was?”
    Tillian shook her head. “I don’t. All I know is they brought it to me daily.”
    “What effect did it have on you?” Edda methodically asked, not meaning to be callous, but her questions were lacking the sensitivities of the current situation.
    “They clouded my mind and made me…made me—” Tillian whimpered as she struggled to complete this last statement. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words that the drugs caused her to be aroused all the time.
    “Hmm. Based on how dilated your pupils are, I would guess it had something to do with arousal,” Edda stated for her. “This is going to come out as insensitive, but dear, how often did they have sex with you?”
    Tillian’s shame exploded out in a loud sob. She buried her face behind her hands, not wanting to see Edda’s reaction. Tillian tried to muffle her sounds, knowing that Ryan would come back, and she couldn’t handle that right now. He was absolutely the last person she wanted to hear this confession.
    “Often?” Edda pushed, needing to know in order to determine something.
    “Yes,” she hissed in disgrace.
    Edda patted her arm, understanding her discomfort and wanting to sooth her. “There is no dishonor or humiliation in this, Princess. You were not in control.” Edda placed her hand on Tillian’s womb and concentrated, using her magic to scan for any pregnancies, causing a faint glow to appear that only Edda could see. She smiled reassuringly at the worried look on Tillian’s face. “They probably gave you something to prevent pregnancy or you would be with child now.”
    Tillian didn’t have time to respond when Edda suddenly placed her warm hand over her heart and Tillian felt a wave of static pulse into her body. She knew instantly this was magic and bit back a wave terror. When nothing happened, her reservations faded and she watched on with a new fascination.
    Edda used her magic to check for internal bleeding and any damage under the skin. The damage was staggering, but fortunately it consisted mostly of bruises that would heal in time. Edda watched her closely while she completed her assessment, but added softly, “They were not kind to you, were they?” It was a rhetorical question, not meant to be answered. Tillian’s tight lipped mouth answered her.
    Edda, perceptive as ever, saw this. “What you felt from their attention was in response to the drug, dear. You have no need to be ashamed.” She hoped if she said it enough, Tillian would start to believe it.
    “It does not make it any less