Flight to Freedom by Ana Veciana-Suarez

with the militia group he joined last month. Of course, that information only led us to more questions. Were they going to put him in jail? Would he be accused of a crime? Why had the national police taken my father? Papi finally showedup after dinner. Though he was pale, he assured the family that he had not been arrested or charged with anything, and that several men, also from his group, had been with him at an office downtown. He seemed to be trying too hard to calm us down, and that made me nervous. Mami refused to talk to him. Her face was red and her mouth remained pursed all evening.
Tuesday, 24th of October
    Jane asked me to go to the movies with her this Saturday, but Mami said no, absolutely not. She said Jane is a stranger and we do not know anything about her family or her background. “We are not those kinds of people who let their daughters associate with just anybody,” she said. What is that supposed to mean? Jane is not a stranger. She is my friend, and she helps me in school. She gets very good marks. I found out that her mother is a teacher in Ana Mari’s school. She doesn’t ever talk about her father, and I have never asked.
    I think Mami was just in a bad mood because she found out that Ileana has been meeting a boy after school. He is a year older than she is, and he has a car and drives her home. She is supposed to take the busand not accept rides from anybody, certainly not boys, but Ileana is Ileana. If you tell her to do something, she will try to do the opposite. My mother wanted her to promise she would not talk to the boy anymore, but Ileana refused. She told Mami that she is lucky the boy is her friend. He is very popular in school and plays football, that game with the pointy ball. She also said that they have done nothing but talk. He is very respectful and patient with her English. But Mami said that talk always leads to something else, and she wasn’t going to have any daughter of hers tramping about without a chaperone. This got Ileana very mad and she shouted that we are living in the United States of America, not Cuba. So Mami screamed that Papi better never hear her say that. Then suddenly Mami looked around and spotted Ana Mari and me listening with our mouths open. She ordered us outside, and we missed the rest of the fight.
    Later I asked Ileana what she was going to do. Her eyes were red from crying. She shrugged her shoulders. When I asked her the boy’s name, she snapped at me and said it was none of my business. Then she cried some more.
    I feel sorry for Ileana. I think she just wants to havefriends. She wants to be like everyone else in her school. I know the feeling. I don’t think Mami or Papi understand what it is like to be new to a school, with funny clothes and a funny accent. They are not trying to be cruel to us. They may even think they are doing what is right. But it’s hard to live like Papi wants us to live, suspended in the middle between two countries. We have to be either here or there. We have to make up our minds. We must choose.
Thursday, 26th of October
    Pedro, the Cuban boy in my homeroom, is leaving for Los Angeles on Saturday. His father is a chemical engineer, whatever that is, and he got a job there. We looked on the globe in the classroom and were surprised it was almost halfway around the world. As soon as he saw this, poor Pedro turned white.
    â€œI didn’t know the United States was so big,” he groaned.
    â€œBut look how close you are to Mexico!” I tried to console him.
    He wouldn’t answer, just hung his head. He wants to go back to Cuba.
Friday, 27th of October
    Abuelo Tony turned seventy-four today. We had chocolate cake from a bakery and Coca-Cola. He was very tired, though, and he did not even bother to blow out his candles. I asked him what was wrong, and he put both his hands on his chest. “A man’s heart can break in so many ways,” he said. I gave him a big, big hug, and I