dependent on him. He has too much going on to have a needy adult waiting on him to do shit for them.
“Al, I… you can’t… this is your home.” His hand comes to my cheek, gently turning my face to him. His eyes are so damn beautiful, his dark eyebrows… that hair. God, no wonder he has no issues with finding girls to spend the night. He’s beautiful and rugged and everything a girl would want in a man.
I just can’t feel like them, though. It’s not right.
“I can’t, Bray. You of all people should understand that. Have you even been back there?” I can’t say his name, I don’t want to talk about it, but from the looks of it he hasn’t been home yet either.
“No, but you don’t have to move back in to his place, Al. I have a spare bedroom… I have an extra bathroom. It’d be like I’m not even there.” His eyes are pleading, but I can’t. I can’t do that to him, he doesn’t understand why.
Because I’m most afraid that, after everything is said and done, that I’ll end up falling in love with a man I shouldn’t. With my dead boyfriend’s best friend.
How fucked up is that?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling the tears threatening. I hate that ever since the accident I can’t stop crying, but it is what it is. I know moving in with him would be fun and awesome, but I need to find myself first. “Maybe in a few months I can try, but I’m going to need so much, Bray. I just can’t expect you to stop everything for me.”
“I want to, Al. I want to help you in any fucking way I can.” He huffs, standing up and running his hands down his face, his features tense. “Fuck,” he mutters.
“I’m sorry, Braydon.” It’s all I can say. He knows I’m not coming back with him. He knows tomorrow when they release me I’ll be moving almost two hours away. He knows it’ll never be the same. Hell, even if I did stay it’d never be the same. The one man that brought us together… the man I went and fell in love with… isn’t even alive anymore. Nothing’s ever going to be the same.
He shakes his head, then turns and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I feel like such a bitch. I know he’d help. I know he wouldn’t bitch about rent while I get back on my feet. But I also know I don’t want to feel like I’m depending on someone like that. Never have, never will. I have to make it on my own, then we can talk about me moving back to town.
Time passes… I’m not even certain how long since I can’t seem to focus on anything today, but before I know it it’s dinner time and my mom is here. I’m not certain when she got here. I probably fell asleep for a bit, but I can’t honestly stay focused on anything since he walked out like that. I have this terrible feeling I’m never going to see him again. I feel like I just broke up with him, but we weren’t even together.
“I brought you clothes for the morning, sweetheart.” She lays the bag on the table opposite my bed and sighs. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?” She’s mentioned a few times of me coming home with them. She’s also mentioned the fact that Braydon’s a great person to have around, but I know she’s hoping I come back with her. She’s my mom, after all.
“I’m coming home, mom. With you and dad.” I can’t find my full voice so it comes out a whisper. The words alone make me want to cry. I worked so hard to stay here in LA, but it’s just not feasible anymore. Not until I can find another job and learn to live with my new lifestyle.
“Oh honey,” my mom whispers, then walks over and wraps me in her arms. She’s always given the best hugs.
And most emotional.
“Mom it’ll be ok. I’m ok. I just need your help getting up and running again.” I sniffle, hating that she’s made me cry just from one damn hug.
“I know Alexis. It’s all ok. You’ll find a job in town. Pete’s parents are still three doors down and he visits a lot so you’ll have
“Al, I… you can’t… this is your home.” His hand comes to my cheek, gently turning my face to him. His eyes are so damn beautiful, his dark eyebrows… that hair. God, no wonder he has no issues with finding girls to spend the night. He’s beautiful and rugged and everything a girl would want in a man.
I just can’t feel like them, though. It’s not right.
“I can’t, Bray. You of all people should understand that. Have you even been back there?” I can’t say his name, I don’t want to talk about it, but from the looks of it he hasn’t been home yet either.
“No, but you don’t have to move back in to his place, Al. I have a spare bedroom… I have an extra bathroom. It’d be like I’m not even there.” His eyes are pleading, but I can’t. I can’t do that to him, he doesn’t understand why.
Because I’m most afraid that, after everything is said and done, that I’ll end up falling in love with a man I shouldn’t. With my dead boyfriend’s best friend.
How fucked up is that?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling the tears threatening. I hate that ever since the accident I can’t stop crying, but it is what it is. I know moving in with him would be fun and awesome, but I need to find myself first. “Maybe in a few months I can try, but I’m going to need so much, Bray. I just can’t expect you to stop everything for me.”
“I want to, Al. I want to help you in any fucking way I can.” He huffs, standing up and running his hands down his face, his features tense. “Fuck,” he mutters.
“I’m sorry, Braydon.” It’s all I can say. He knows I’m not coming back with him. He knows tomorrow when they release me I’ll be moving almost two hours away. He knows it’ll never be the same. Hell, even if I did stay it’d never be the same. The one man that brought us together… the man I went and fell in love with… isn’t even alive anymore. Nothing’s ever going to be the same.
He shakes his head, then turns and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I feel like such a bitch. I know he’d help. I know he wouldn’t bitch about rent while I get back on my feet. But I also know I don’t want to feel like I’m depending on someone like that. Never have, never will. I have to make it on my own, then we can talk about me moving back to town.
Time passes… I’m not even certain how long since I can’t seem to focus on anything today, but before I know it it’s dinner time and my mom is here. I’m not certain when she got here. I probably fell asleep for a bit, but I can’t honestly stay focused on anything since he walked out like that. I have this terrible feeling I’m never going to see him again. I feel like I just broke up with him, but we weren’t even together.
“I brought you clothes for the morning, sweetheart.” She lays the bag on the table opposite my bed and sighs. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?” She’s mentioned a few times of me coming home with them. She’s also mentioned the fact that Braydon’s a great person to have around, but I know she’s hoping I come back with her. She’s my mom, after all.
“I’m coming home, mom. With you and dad.” I can’t find my full voice so it comes out a whisper. The words alone make me want to cry. I worked so hard to stay here in LA, but it’s just not feasible anymore. Not until I can find another job and learn to live with my new lifestyle.
“Oh honey,” my mom whispers, then walks over and wraps me in her arms. She’s always given the best hugs.
And most emotional.
“Mom it’ll be ok. I’m ok. I just need your help getting up and running again.” I sniffle, hating that she’s made me cry just from one damn hug.
“I know Alexis. It’s all ok. You’ll find a job in town. Pete’s parents are still three doors down and he visits a lot so you’ll have
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