to read it.
Maybe, I'll invite you to our wedding! Remember – SEX IS
BEAUTIFUL!
P.S. He also loves to suck on my large tits. He can't wait till I'm pregnant.
P.P.S. I also get turned on by hard porno. (He doesn't.) In all the fantasies that follow in this chapter, the writers themselves describe their fantasies as growing out of childhood experiences – or else their early beginnings are evident in the emotions they express. I always feel grateful to women like Ivy and Sophie who write to confirm the value of sexual fantasies in their lives; just as their own therapists have told them that sexual fantasies do not mean they are freaks, so have several other psychoanalysts written to me of the usefulness to human health and happiness of sexual fantasy. As part of their therapeutic approach, these doctors have begun to encourage their more inhibited patients to invent their own fantasies, often beginning by having them read My Secret Garden first.
I especially appreciate the generosity of Dr. Harrison's letter, not just toward me but clearly toward all his women patients.
The fact that he would also enclose his own fantasy makes him even more dimensional to me, not just a doctor but a man too.
We may not all be able to afford, or want, psychotherapy, but the experiences these women have shared with us – acknowledging how difficult it was for them to accept and enjoy the guilt-ridden early sexual pleasures of childhood – can help us all. You were sexual as a child; the thrills and sensations you felt then are still with you. You may have felt guilty about it when you were six or ten, but you are grown-up now and can understand how unnecessary this guilt is. More important, you can put those early sexual experiences and emotions to work for you. When we were children, many of us were made to memorize a passage from the Bible: “When I was a child, I spake as a child … . When I became a man, I put away childish things.” I submit that this is not entirely correct. We may 41
put away childish words and games, but our earliest sexuality is the foundation on which our sexual maturity grows. These women recognize this. Maybe you can learn from them.
Ivy
I've just finished reading My Secret Garden . For me, it was one of many approaches I am currently taking to work through numerous sexual hang-ups. Mostly it helps by confirming my therapist's statements that my fantasies and sexual desires are normal, shared by many others.
I am thirty-one, married nine years, two children, returned to graduate school a year ago. Both my husband and I are in therapy; hopefully this counseling, plus attending a clinic for sexual disfunctions will enable us to remain married. But if not, I think we will both be at the point that we can survive divorce, and come through the whole experience with some positive gains.
Fantasy 1 : My therapist (who is female) has arranged for me to be sexually counseled by a male friend, also a therapist. I meet regularly with him, once a week, in his apartment. He is very perceptive and sensitive; in the beginning, we only talk.
He is very slow to introduce sexual activities. The second time I am there, he merely has me lie fully clothed next to him. It's as though he always sensed at what point the fears I have regarding sex negate the excitement, and always takes me on one step beyond where I think it's okay, but one step short of what would scare me away. This is my sweetest, gentlest fantasy, and I haven't yet gotten us to the point of actually making love, and orgasm (which I am only able to achieve while masturbating in real life).
Fantasy 2 : (This is wild.) The beginning part of this borrows and adapts part of a science-fiction novel I once read.
There is some group of people who have instituted a colony of
“superpeople” … beautiful, strong, intelligent, etc. (Naturally, they want me. Such egotism.) Anyway, they get their population by kidnapping desirable persons.
42
I'm
Maybe, I'll invite you to our wedding! Remember – SEX IS
BEAUTIFUL!
P.S. He also loves to suck on my large tits. He can't wait till I'm pregnant.
P.P.S. I also get turned on by hard porno. (He doesn't.) In all the fantasies that follow in this chapter, the writers themselves describe their fantasies as growing out of childhood experiences – or else their early beginnings are evident in the emotions they express. I always feel grateful to women like Ivy and Sophie who write to confirm the value of sexual fantasies in their lives; just as their own therapists have told them that sexual fantasies do not mean they are freaks, so have several other psychoanalysts written to me of the usefulness to human health and happiness of sexual fantasy. As part of their therapeutic approach, these doctors have begun to encourage their more inhibited patients to invent their own fantasies, often beginning by having them read My Secret Garden first.
I especially appreciate the generosity of Dr. Harrison's letter, not just toward me but clearly toward all his women patients.
The fact that he would also enclose his own fantasy makes him even more dimensional to me, not just a doctor but a man too.
We may not all be able to afford, or want, psychotherapy, but the experiences these women have shared with us – acknowledging how difficult it was for them to accept and enjoy the guilt-ridden early sexual pleasures of childhood – can help us all. You were sexual as a child; the thrills and sensations you felt then are still with you. You may have felt guilty about it when you were six or ten, but you are grown-up now and can understand how unnecessary this guilt is. More important, you can put those early sexual experiences and emotions to work for you. When we were children, many of us were made to memorize a passage from the Bible: “When I was a child, I spake as a child … . When I became a man, I put away childish things.” I submit that this is not entirely correct. We may 41
put away childish words and games, but our earliest sexuality is the foundation on which our sexual maturity grows. These women recognize this. Maybe you can learn from them.
Ivy
I've just finished reading My Secret Garden . For me, it was one of many approaches I am currently taking to work through numerous sexual hang-ups. Mostly it helps by confirming my therapist's statements that my fantasies and sexual desires are normal, shared by many others.
I am thirty-one, married nine years, two children, returned to graduate school a year ago. Both my husband and I are in therapy; hopefully this counseling, plus attending a clinic for sexual disfunctions will enable us to remain married. But if not, I think we will both be at the point that we can survive divorce, and come through the whole experience with some positive gains.
Fantasy 1 : My therapist (who is female) has arranged for me to be sexually counseled by a male friend, also a therapist. I meet regularly with him, once a week, in his apartment. He is very perceptive and sensitive; in the beginning, we only talk.
He is very slow to introduce sexual activities. The second time I am there, he merely has me lie fully clothed next to him. It's as though he always sensed at what point the fears I have regarding sex negate the excitement, and always takes me on one step beyond where I think it's okay, but one step short of what would scare me away. This is my sweetest, gentlest fantasy, and I haven't yet gotten us to the point of actually making love, and orgasm (which I am only able to achieve while masturbating in real life).
Fantasy 2 : (This is wild.) The beginning part of this borrows and adapts part of a science-fiction novel I once read.
There is some group of people who have instituted a colony of
“superpeople” … beautiful, strong, intelligent, etc. (Naturally, they want me. Such egotism.) Anyway, they get their population by kidnapping desirable persons.
42
I'm
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