general manager to secure
new players for the upcoming season. I loved the thrill of the hunt
and securing the best players to sign with the Gators.
It kept me busy, mostly from thinking about
Charlie.
I didn’t know what to do with the fact that
my kid was running around in the world. It wasn’t as if he was
little and I could take him out for ice cream or play catch in the
park.
He was full-grown and I had no idea how to
relate to him. I didn’t have much of a role model and I certainly
didn’t want to be a cold motherfucker like my father was.
I was stuck. Consequently, I pretended my
life hadn’t changed. I started working non-stop on the team, the
hotel, and my other investments.
The only time I took a break was when I
worked out. On a Wednesday afternoon in early September, when the
leaves were beginning to turn various shades of yellow, red, and
purple, I headed into my training session with Ibrahima.
I threw on my shorts and sneakers, and met
him by the climbing ropes.
He glanced at me with worry in his fierce
gaze. “You’re working too much. More than usual. What’s going on?”
he asked perceptively.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You’d rather work yourself to death?”
“Maybe. It’s better than the alternative,
which is to stop and think about how fucked up my life is right
now.”
“Have you talked with anyone about what’s
going on with you? Whatever happened with that lady you told me
about?”
“Yeah, she’s the one causing so many issues
in my life. I just found out she had my kid.”
His dark face grew wide with shock. “Your
kid? You’re a dad?”
“Yep. Sort of. If I can start being a dad to
a twenty-two year-old I don’t know at all.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“Nope. I’ve talked to his mom recently and
that didn’t go well. But she did give me his number.”
“Did you call him?”
“No. I don’t know what to say.”
“He’s twenty-two. Just treat him like a
friend. Call him up and go to a game. You can hook him up with
that, can’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess. But what do we talk
about?”
“Whatever comes up. Let him take the lead. If
he wants to get into the heavy details, let him ask questions. Just
figure out what you want to tell him. Honesty would be the best
policy, but that’s up to you. Otherwise, just see what
happens.”
“I don’t know if I can handle that. I’m so
goddamn mad at his mom for not telling me about him. I don’t know
why she would do that. It doesn’t make sense. But you should have
seen him when I confronted her about it. He was in my face in a
heartbeat, protecting his mother. I gotta say when I realized who
he was, I was proud of his courage.”
Ibrahima smiled big. “Ah, already signs of
paternal pride. You have it in you to be a great dad, Beau. I think
you should give it a shot.”
I appreciated his confidence in me. “Do you
have kids, Ibrahima?” I had never bothered to ask. Too caught up in
my own shit.
His entire face lit up in a beaming smile. “I
do. Two boys and a girl. They try my patience, but I love them
dearly. I would give my life for each of them.”
I could tell he meant it. Ibrahima was a
great coach; I could only imagine how amazing he was as a
father.
“So what’s this young man’s name?” he asked
in genuine curiosity.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Charlie. Marla
named him after my grandfather. At least, she got one thing
right.”
“I’m glad you can see that, Beau. It’s good
to appreciate the little things.”
“I’m trying, but I’m ready to train.”
“Yes, yes,” Ibrahima let out in his rich
voice. “Come. I’ll work you hard today, Beau Shepard.”
I grinned. “Bring it on.”
He gave me an evil smirk “Let’s start with
burpees. Give me fifty.”
He meant what he said.
He kicked my ass the entire time, making me
feel every crunch, every burn, and every hold. But it was worth it
to forget everything for a little while.
After we finished my
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