inch, then another fraction. But just when it seemed like they might both tumble toward a point of no return, Dayne closed his eyes. From the depths of him he groaned, but it came out as a single whispered word: “No.” Then in a decision that looked like it took everything he had, he pushed himself up and away from her.
With his knees still in the sand, he sat back against his heels and reached for her hand. His sides were heaving from everything 42
he must’ve been feeling. “I can’t, Katy. I …” He rubbed the back of his neck, then found her eyes. “I gave myself a line.” He clenched his jaw and stared at the sky above. There were blue patches now, the storm clouds breaking up. “No matter what I want, I promised God I wouldn’t cross it.”
Katy sat up and picked a piece of lake moss from her shirt. Her body screamed for more-more of him, more of his nearness, more of his kisses-but at the same time her heart pounded from how close they’d been. How close they’d come to turning a corner from which there would be no backtracking. God … I’m sorry.
. . I never want to be this close again. Shame made her cheeks hot. “It’d be so easy.”
“Yeah.” He surveyed their surroundings. The lake formed a private cove at the base of the hill. There were no people or boats or houses in sight. He leaned over and gave her a single tender kiss. “I have a feeling we’ll spend a lot of time down here.” He helped her to her feet. “Just not right now.”
Katy was more than impressed. Resisting the pull of the moment had taken all her resolve. But what about him? Staying pure was something new for Dayne Matthews.
His determination to honor her was further proof of the depth of his love, his commitment. More than that, it was proof that he intended to live out his faith in every area of his life. Regardless of his past, he was telling her the truth when he said that he’d never loved like this.
She had no doubts.
They stood in knee-deep water, facing each other, the air around them silent except for the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. She hung her head.
“I always felt … I don’t know, better than other girls.” She lifted her eyes to him. The guilt in her heart was so strong she was sure he could see it. “When I was in high school I made a decision to wait until I was married. A lot of my friends did too, but… over time, one by one, most of them gave in.”
43
He framed her face with his hands. “But not you.”
“No.” A breeze came off the lake and made a chill run down her spine. She wanted to take a step closer to him, but she didn’t dare. “I always thought it was only a matter of will. Make a promise and keep it. That sort of thing.” She studied him. “But just then … something came over me, Dayne. A part of me wanted to forget I ever made that promise at all.”
“I know.” He ran his thumb along her brow. “I felt the same way.” He hugged her, but after a few seconds he reached for her hand and took a step toward the shore. A tender smile played on the corners of his lips. “That’s why we’re going back up the hill.”
And that’s exactly what they did, not looking back even for a moment. Katy was grateful too. Grateful to Dayne and to God most of all. Because if Dayne had turned around, if he had swept her into his arms and back down to the shore, she was no longer sure about one thing.
Whether she’d have the strength to tell him no.
44
45
DAYNE LED the way, and they reached the top of the hill in less than five minutes. He was still catching his breath from the scene down in the water.
Relief flooded him. Distance was a good thing. Only by God’s strength had they avoided doing something they both would’ve regretted. Now that he was thinking clearly, now that his brain had the upper hand again, he had no intention of leading Katy astray. Even if she did look irresistible with the sun in her hair.
Dayne pointed to a patch of grass
With his knees still in the sand, he sat back against his heels and reached for her hand. His sides were heaving from everything 42
he must’ve been feeling. “I can’t, Katy. I …” He rubbed the back of his neck, then found her eyes. “I gave myself a line.” He clenched his jaw and stared at the sky above. There were blue patches now, the storm clouds breaking up. “No matter what I want, I promised God I wouldn’t cross it.”
Katy sat up and picked a piece of lake moss from her shirt. Her body screamed for more-more of him, more of his nearness, more of his kisses-but at the same time her heart pounded from how close they’d been. How close they’d come to turning a corner from which there would be no backtracking. God … I’m sorry.
. . I never want to be this close again. Shame made her cheeks hot. “It’d be so easy.”
“Yeah.” He surveyed their surroundings. The lake formed a private cove at the base of the hill. There were no people or boats or houses in sight. He leaned over and gave her a single tender kiss. “I have a feeling we’ll spend a lot of time down here.” He helped her to her feet. “Just not right now.”
Katy was more than impressed. Resisting the pull of the moment had taken all her resolve. But what about him? Staying pure was something new for Dayne Matthews.
His determination to honor her was further proof of the depth of his love, his commitment. More than that, it was proof that he intended to live out his faith in every area of his life. Regardless of his past, he was telling her the truth when he said that he’d never loved like this.
She had no doubts.
They stood in knee-deep water, facing each other, the air around them silent except for the gentle lapping of the water against the shore. She hung her head.
“I always felt … I don’t know, better than other girls.” She lifted her eyes to him. The guilt in her heart was so strong she was sure he could see it. “When I was in high school I made a decision to wait until I was married. A lot of my friends did too, but… over time, one by one, most of them gave in.”
43
He framed her face with his hands. “But not you.”
“No.” A breeze came off the lake and made a chill run down her spine. She wanted to take a step closer to him, but she didn’t dare. “I always thought it was only a matter of will. Make a promise and keep it. That sort of thing.” She studied him. “But just then … something came over me, Dayne. A part of me wanted to forget I ever made that promise at all.”
“I know.” He ran his thumb along her brow. “I felt the same way.” He hugged her, but after a few seconds he reached for her hand and took a step toward the shore. A tender smile played on the corners of his lips. “That’s why we’re going back up the hill.”
And that’s exactly what they did, not looking back even for a moment. Katy was grateful too. Grateful to Dayne and to God most of all. Because if Dayne had turned around, if he had swept her into his arms and back down to the shore, she was no longer sure about one thing.
Whether she’d have the strength to tell him no.
44
45
DAYNE LED the way, and they reached the top of the hill in less than five minutes. He was still catching his breath from the scene down in the water.
Relief flooded him. Distance was a good thing. Only by God’s strength had they avoided doing something they both would’ve regretted. Now that he was thinking clearly, now that his brain had the upper hand again, he had no intention of leading Katy astray. Even if she did look irresistible with the sun in her hair.
Dayne pointed to a patch of grass
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