Pam — are the same Pam. Your mother was my younger sister.”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible. My mother was an orphan. She didn’t have any family.”
Ruth Ann lifted her betrayed gaze to my father’s eyes. “You
lied
. You lied to her, you lied to us. What other lies have you told? What sort of monster are you?”
“Your daughter was an orphan for the Lord. She rejected you and your idol-worshiping son for a holy life. She was a righteous soul. Did you expect me expose Pam’s child to your hell-bound ways?
I. Would. Never.
”
I heard myself gasp. I don’t know if it was from the shock of finding family I never knew existed, or from the shock of hearing my mother spoken of as
righteous
by my father. It was possibly the nicest thing my father had ever said about her. In his world,
righteous
was about the highest praise possible. “Then it’s true? This is my grandmother and my uncle?”
My father looked down his long nose at me. “They are impure. Your mother knew this. Knew that they would lead her astray.”
“Answer the question!”
“Yes, this is your mother’s mother, and her brother,” my father spit out.
“Then this wasn’t an accident. Father Felix was right when he said you always show up near his parish during the summers. He wasn’t paranoid. It’s a family vendetta,” I said, meeting his furious gaze.
“My only concern is, and always has been, your soul. I have always done what I felt was best for your soul. These people are not good for you. They will lead you to hell.”
“Lead me to hell? Since I’m hell-bound now, according to you, I don’t see the difference.”
“These people would help harden your heart even more. You are arrogant and untruthful. Lost to all goodness and mercy. These people would give you succor. They would shelter you in your rebellion. I
will not
have you associate with them!”
“I’m an adult; I see who I please,” I said.
“Hell yawns before you, little girl, and you are too foolish to see it. Repent now!”
“No.”
He wanted to slap me, then. I could feel his palm itching to meet my cheek. I did not flinch. I knew he would not smack me publicly. It was not his way. Even if he
had
slapped me, I wasn’t about to let him off the hook. He was not going to get to blame God for his lies.
Ruth Ann shifted nervously as she watched my father and I square off. I can’t blame her, really, for what she said next. It’s not an easy thing to watch other people fight. It’s even harder to say the right thing in a tense moment. I would find out later that Ruth Ann had a talent for saying the wrong thing when nervous. Her next utterance was my first hint at her talents. “Please, don’t be so upset, dear. We would have been in contact sooner. Please understand. But we didn’t know. Didn’t realize you were alive. He told us you died when Josh passed.”
Next to Ruth Ann, Father Felix sighed and shook his head. Ruth Ann heard the sigh, and knew she had said the wrong thing. It was written plainly on her face. My father turned a bit paler at hearing her.
I placed my hands firmly on my hips. He
hates
when I face him with my hands on my hips. He says it makes me look bitchy. Which was more than fine with me in that moment. I was feeling more than a little bitchy. “Who exactly is Josh?” I asked.
“My son,” said my father. “I’ll be in the car.”
As he left the lobby, and headed for the parking lot with Porter and Susan trailing him, I watched in silence.
Six
I stood there silent and rooted looking after him until Ruth Ann touched me gently on the shoulder. “I’m sorry Keziah,” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault.”
Ruth Ann tentatively drew me into a hug. I wound up with my arm around her gently patting her frail shoulder. When she pulled back, I just looked at her. There were no words in me.
“Will you call us. Can we talk?” asked Father Felix.
“Of course. I just can’t talk about this now. I need to
“I’m afraid that’s not possible. My mother was an orphan. She didn’t have any family.”
Ruth Ann lifted her betrayed gaze to my father’s eyes. “You
lied
. You lied to her, you lied to us. What other lies have you told? What sort of monster are you?”
“Your daughter was an orphan for the Lord. She rejected you and your idol-worshiping son for a holy life. She was a righteous soul. Did you expect me expose Pam’s child to your hell-bound ways?
I. Would. Never.
”
I heard myself gasp. I don’t know if it was from the shock of finding family I never knew existed, or from the shock of hearing my mother spoken of as
righteous
by my father. It was possibly the nicest thing my father had ever said about her. In his world,
righteous
was about the highest praise possible. “Then it’s true? This is my grandmother and my uncle?”
My father looked down his long nose at me. “They are impure. Your mother knew this. Knew that they would lead her astray.”
“Answer the question!”
“Yes, this is your mother’s mother, and her brother,” my father spit out.
“Then this wasn’t an accident. Father Felix was right when he said you always show up near his parish during the summers. He wasn’t paranoid. It’s a family vendetta,” I said, meeting his furious gaze.
“My only concern is, and always has been, your soul. I have always done what I felt was best for your soul. These people are not good for you. They will lead you to hell.”
“Lead me to hell? Since I’m hell-bound now, according to you, I don’t see the difference.”
“These people would help harden your heart even more. You are arrogant and untruthful. Lost to all goodness and mercy. These people would give you succor. They would shelter you in your rebellion. I
will not
have you associate with them!”
“I’m an adult; I see who I please,” I said.
“Hell yawns before you, little girl, and you are too foolish to see it. Repent now!”
“No.”
He wanted to slap me, then. I could feel his palm itching to meet my cheek. I did not flinch. I knew he would not smack me publicly. It was not his way. Even if he
had
slapped me, I wasn’t about to let him off the hook. He was not going to get to blame God for his lies.
Ruth Ann shifted nervously as she watched my father and I square off. I can’t blame her, really, for what she said next. It’s not an easy thing to watch other people fight. It’s even harder to say the right thing in a tense moment. I would find out later that Ruth Ann had a talent for saying the wrong thing when nervous. Her next utterance was my first hint at her talents. “Please, don’t be so upset, dear. We would have been in contact sooner. Please understand. But we didn’t know. Didn’t realize you were alive. He told us you died when Josh passed.”
Next to Ruth Ann, Father Felix sighed and shook his head. Ruth Ann heard the sigh, and knew she had said the wrong thing. It was written plainly on her face. My father turned a bit paler at hearing her.
I placed my hands firmly on my hips. He
hates
when I face him with my hands on my hips. He says it makes me look bitchy. Which was more than fine with me in that moment. I was feeling more than a little bitchy. “Who exactly is Josh?” I asked.
“My son,” said my father. “I’ll be in the car.”
As he left the lobby, and headed for the parking lot with Porter and Susan trailing him, I watched in silence.
Six
I stood there silent and rooted looking after him until Ruth Ann touched me gently on the shoulder. “I’m sorry Keziah,” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault.”
Ruth Ann tentatively drew me into a hug. I wound up with my arm around her gently patting her frail shoulder. When she pulled back, I just looked at her. There were no words in me.
“Will you call us. Can we talk?” asked Father Felix.
“Of course. I just can’t talk about this now. I need to
Similar Books
