Todd Kishkin looked like he was just floating above the ground. When we turned down Fridell Road, he said, as if getting off an elevator, âIâll see you guys in a bit.â And, pow, he went into another gear and out of sight.
I wanted to ask Craig about him, but I didnât have the energy to speak. Eventually Randy and Craig pulled away from Conchita and me, and I made sure to stay side by side with her. Couldnât lose to a girl. But then, as we crossed the practice fields, just when I shouldâve been able to outsprint her since my legs were twice as long, I had nothing left. She cruised ahead as if I were cemented in place. Everything hurt so much. I wanted to drop this pointless sport, get another gym period, forget about Carolina Fisher anyway. Who does this crap? Run five miles for no reason? This isnât a sport! Itâs torture!
But I never walked. Never. Might as well have, but still. By the time I got to the steps of the gym where we started, two sophomores had caught me. Then a half dozen others. Didnât care. Couldnât care. I collapsed to my knees, hard into the gravel of the cement. If you had asked me in that moment if I would ever, ever run with the cross-country team again, I would have said, âFuck no.â
But Pasquini walked fast toward me, mumbling, âI thought so, I thought so.â Then he crouched down because I was on my hands and knees, dry heaving, and lifted up my chin and said, âYou donât know what the hell youâre doing, but when you do learn, you might be dangerous.â He was giving me a compliment in his way. It felt good. I wished it didnât. But it did.
I was planning on taking the late bus home, but when I finally had the energy to stand up, and after Pasquini had given the team a cornball pep speech, I saw my momâs Infiniti SUV waiting in the parking lot. Unfortunately, it had not driven itself.
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9
Carolina will stop boy obsessing tomorrow
âI-have-to-call-Peggy-Iâll-be-right-back,â I said to my mom exactly one second after I saw the request from Trevor Santos. I went to the basement laundry room because my room was too close to the living room and no way did I want her to hear my conversation.
âHe sent me a friend request!â I said, except I probably screamed it, as soon as Peggy answered. Why was I screaming this? This is not a big deal. Not. At. All.
âWho?â she said.
âThe new boy!â I screamed again. I was out of control. I didnât know who the heck I was anymore. âHis name is Trevor Santos.â
âI canât hear you, hold on.â In the background, I could hear Katherine yelling at their mom. They were always yelling at each other. Peggy found someplace quiet, then said, âSo whatâs his name?â
âTrevor Santos.â
âThatâs a sexy name,â she said.
âI know,â I said, even though I hadnât thought about it and didnât even know what would make a name sexy. âWhat should I do?â my voice felt almost normal. I was starting to calm down instead of acting like some hysterical girl in love with a boy band.
âAbout what?â said Peggy, who was having a âspace-out night,â which sometimes happened. Especially when her sister and mom were yelling a lot.
âAbout the friend request he sent, Peggy.â
âAccept it, right?â
âBut ⦠Okay. Yeah. Butâ¦â Should I admit it? I had to. Even though it completely ruined my vow. Just ruined it. So I said, âWhat if I like him?â
âThen for sure accept it, right?â
âBut ⦠maybe I should wait.â
âMaybe you should,â Peggy said, not really listening. Or listening but not really thinking. Peggy was the greatest friend, except sometimes she just told you what you wanted to hear instead of real advice. So I changed the subject to talk about homework, and then about
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