everything miraculously goes back to the way it was. You need to accept that this was the end of us, just like you knew it would be when you asked me for this.”
“Fucking hell, Tilly. Tucker’s my kid just as much as the girls are,” my tone is harsher than I intend and at her strangled gasp I work hard to soften it, but it isn’t easy. I’m furious that she’s writing off what we just did together less than ten minutes ago. And I’m fucking pissed she’s backing me into a corner. One there’s no way out of. “You know it’s true, babe. Tucker is as much mine as the girls are. I can’t just take off without saying goodbye to him. He’s too young to understand why I haven’t come to see him for days, and on the off chance something happened to me it’d be fucking unfair of me to say goodbye to the girls and not him.”
“I didn’t ask you stay away from Tucker, quite the opposite, Saint. Now you’ll have all the time in the world to spend with him seeing as you won’t be here,” she replies waspishly bringing the conversation full circle.
“So that’s it is it? We fucked, now I’m supposed to sign those useless fucking papers, which are exactly that, useless. Tilly you’ve gotta know, that not even a divorce stamped by a judge will make you any less mine. And what then? After it’s all said and done I walk away like we never happened? That’s what you really want?” I say raising my eyebrow in question.
“None of this is what I wanted, but it’s the hand of cards I’ve been dealt, and now I’ve got to deal with it, finally. If you think I believed for a second we would be here now when we got together twelve years ago you’re sorely mistaken, because I didn’t. I thought what we had would last a lifetime, maybe more. But it didn’t, and because it didn’t this needs to be done for both our sakes. There’s no use drawing this out and making it harder on both of us, or the girls. We have the choice whether we make this easy or not, but aside from that this is done.” Her tears are free flowing now and I’d do anything to take her in my arms and comfort her, but that’s not what she wants.
She’s right about one thing though. How hard we make this is up to us. If it were up to me, if it wasn’t going to hurt anyone other than me and Tilly, I’d make this as difficult as fucking possible. I’d fight her every step of the way, but we aren’t the only ones we have to consider here. We have the girls to worry about too, just like she said, and the last thing I want to do is make their lives any worse than I already have.
“How do we do this, Tilly? I mean, how the fuck do we separate and still raise our girls together?”
Sighing she leans against the dresser, propping her hip on the side using it to hold herself upright.
“I don’t know, Saint. I suppose we wait and see. You can come and visit with the girls whenever you want, and I hope you will. I would never keep them from you, and I wouldn’t do that to them either. I only have one stipulation and that is, if you move in with Stacey the girls don’t come to see you there. It’s going to be hard enough for them that you’re gone, the last thing I want them to believe is that you’ve left us for her. I don’t want them to think they were at fault for any of this, or that they are being replaced, so for now I think it’s best you see them here or take them out places.”
It’s a fair request and one I wouldn’t hesitate in agreeing to if I actually considered moving in with Stacey as an option. However, seeing as I’d rather cut off my left nut with a blunt spoon than live with that bitch, it’s never going to be a concern. For her or the girls.
“I’m not walking out of my house, and away from my wife and kids to move in with that whore, no fucking way. So you can rest easy Tilly, because that’s not something you’re going to have to worry about. I’ll stay at the clubhouse. My
“Fucking hell, Tilly. Tucker’s my kid just as much as the girls are,” my tone is harsher than I intend and at her strangled gasp I work hard to soften it, but it isn’t easy. I’m furious that she’s writing off what we just did together less than ten minutes ago. And I’m fucking pissed she’s backing me into a corner. One there’s no way out of. “You know it’s true, babe. Tucker is as much mine as the girls are. I can’t just take off without saying goodbye to him. He’s too young to understand why I haven’t come to see him for days, and on the off chance something happened to me it’d be fucking unfair of me to say goodbye to the girls and not him.”
“I didn’t ask you stay away from Tucker, quite the opposite, Saint. Now you’ll have all the time in the world to spend with him seeing as you won’t be here,” she replies waspishly bringing the conversation full circle.
“So that’s it is it? We fucked, now I’m supposed to sign those useless fucking papers, which are exactly that, useless. Tilly you’ve gotta know, that not even a divorce stamped by a judge will make you any less mine. And what then? After it’s all said and done I walk away like we never happened? That’s what you really want?” I say raising my eyebrow in question.
“None of this is what I wanted, but it’s the hand of cards I’ve been dealt, and now I’ve got to deal with it, finally. If you think I believed for a second we would be here now when we got together twelve years ago you’re sorely mistaken, because I didn’t. I thought what we had would last a lifetime, maybe more. But it didn’t, and because it didn’t this needs to be done for both our sakes. There’s no use drawing this out and making it harder on both of us, or the girls. We have the choice whether we make this easy or not, but aside from that this is done.” Her tears are free flowing now and I’d do anything to take her in my arms and comfort her, but that’s not what she wants.
She’s right about one thing though. How hard we make this is up to us. If it were up to me, if it wasn’t going to hurt anyone other than me and Tilly, I’d make this as difficult as fucking possible. I’d fight her every step of the way, but we aren’t the only ones we have to consider here. We have the girls to worry about too, just like she said, and the last thing I want to do is make their lives any worse than I already have.
“How do we do this, Tilly? I mean, how the fuck do we separate and still raise our girls together?”
Sighing she leans against the dresser, propping her hip on the side using it to hold herself upright.
“I don’t know, Saint. I suppose we wait and see. You can come and visit with the girls whenever you want, and I hope you will. I would never keep them from you, and I wouldn’t do that to them either. I only have one stipulation and that is, if you move in with Stacey the girls don’t come to see you there. It’s going to be hard enough for them that you’re gone, the last thing I want them to believe is that you’ve left us for her. I don’t want them to think they were at fault for any of this, or that they are being replaced, so for now I think it’s best you see them here or take them out places.”
It’s a fair request and one I wouldn’t hesitate in agreeing to if I actually considered moving in with Stacey as an option. However, seeing as I’d rather cut off my left nut with a blunt spoon than live with that bitch, it’s never going to be a concern. For her or the girls.
“I’m not walking out of my house, and away from my wife and kids to move in with that whore, no fucking way. So you can rest easy Tilly, because that’s not something you’re going to have to worry about. I’ll stay at the clubhouse. My
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