then hung up on me. I stared at the dead phone in my hand in horror. I had nowhere to
be
. No one to
be
with. I said to myself, ‘Screw her! I’m going out.’ The only place to
be
in New York on New Year’s Eve when you don’t already have plans, where a fat girl would be anonymous, alone in a crowd …”
“You went to Times Square,” said Alicia.
Robin touched the tip of her nose. “It was a mad scene, total mayhem. Half a million drunk people cordoned off into five square blocks, cops on horseback, flashing lights, bright like the middle of the day. In the mass of humanity, no one paid any attention to me except to complain if I was in the way. I was sweating like crazy, even though it was freezing. I felt claustrophobic and hassled. I regretted going uptown from the second I got there. But I was determined to stick it out until midnight. A few minutes before the ball dropped—I was counting every interminable second—a guy started talking to me. He was also alone, had come to see ‘what all the fuss was about.’ We made fun of the drunk idiots around us. He was nice. Sort of cute, but too earnest for my taste. I assumed he was from out of town or a geek. When the ball
finally
dropped, he kissed me. He invited me to his place in Chelsea. I went. Maybe Carla can help with the next part …”
“And forty weeks later, a child came into the world,” said the doctor.
“During Stephanie’s newborn months, I barely left the house. I was entertained by the 2000 presidential election that went on forever. Which was exactly how I felt about her infancy,” said Robin. “So, showdown?”
The women remembered they had a hand, and fumbled to check their pocket cards.
Alicia said, “Three of a kind.”
Bess said, “Ha! Full house.”
Carla said, “Pair of fives.”
Robin said, “Nothing.”
“I get to ask what we’re all wondering,” said Bess, glancing quickly at Carla and Alicia. “Did you ever see him again? Does he know he’s a father? How was the sex?”
“That’s three questions,” said Robin. “You only get one.”
“And you will answer all of them,” said Carla, in her take-no-prisoner’s tone.
“Yes, ma’am,” said Robin. “The sex? It was
eh
. I was always suspicious of men who were attracted to me back then, that they had a fat fetish. I didn’t get that vibe from him, though. We were both alone on a big night, found each other, and tried to make the best of it. We did it in the dark. I never got a good look at his apartment, but I wasn’t impressed by what I saw. After he fell asleep, I took a cab home at three in the morning. No point in exchanging numbers. Of course, I didn’t know I was pregnant until weeks later. The idea of tracking him down for a ‘knocked up’ conversation was too hideous to consider. Can you imagine the shock, him coming home from work, tired and stressed, and then seeing a huge—and I mean
huge
—lapse in judgment waiting outside his building with baby news?”
“You chickened out,” said Carla.
“Oh, big time,” said Robin. “It was just easier to go my own way. I didn’t need money from him or to be talked into an abortion. Keeping the baby was a selfish decision. I had nothing else in my life. No husband, no meaningful career. I had means and time, and then I had Stephanie.”
Carla asked, “And which story have you told her about her father?”
That sounded a tad judge-y. Robin said, “The artificial insemination story. And it was artificial, in a way. When I look back on that night, I don’t think about the guy as much as I think about that womanon the phone. The one who said, ‘Don’t you have somewhere to
be
?’ At the time, I despised her. But now, if I could, I’d thank her.”
“Oh. My. God,” said Alicia, her eyes popping.
“What?” asked Robin.
“I am that woman,” said Alicia. “I remember taking a call from a pollster that night and being kind of rude.”
Robin’s jaw unhinged. “Are you fucking
be
. No one to
be
with. I said to myself, ‘Screw her! I’m going out.’ The only place to
be
in New York on New Year’s Eve when you don’t already have plans, where a fat girl would be anonymous, alone in a crowd …”
“You went to Times Square,” said Alicia.
Robin touched the tip of her nose. “It was a mad scene, total mayhem. Half a million drunk people cordoned off into five square blocks, cops on horseback, flashing lights, bright like the middle of the day. In the mass of humanity, no one paid any attention to me except to complain if I was in the way. I was sweating like crazy, even though it was freezing. I felt claustrophobic and hassled. I regretted going uptown from the second I got there. But I was determined to stick it out until midnight. A few minutes before the ball dropped—I was counting every interminable second—a guy started talking to me. He was also alone, had come to see ‘what all the fuss was about.’ We made fun of the drunk idiots around us. He was nice. Sort of cute, but too earnest for my taste. I assumed he was from out of town or a geek. When the ball
finally
dropped, he kissed me. He invited me to his place in Chelsea. I went. Maybe Carla can help with the next part …”
“And forty weeks later, a child came into the world,” said the doctor.
“During Stephanie’s newborn months, I barely left the house. I was entertained by the 2000 presidential election that went on forever. Which was exactly how I felt about her infancy,” said Robin. “So, showdown?”
The women remembered they had a hand, and fumbled to check their pocket cards.
Alicia said, “Three of a kind.”
Bess said, “Ha! Full house.”
Carla said, “Pair of fives.”
Robin said, “Nothing.”
“I get to ask what we’re all wondering,” said Bess, glancing quickly at Carla and Alicia. “Did you ever see him again? Does he know he’s a father? How was the sex?”
“That’s three questions,” said Robin. “You only get one.”
“And you will answer all of them,” said Carla, in her take-no-prisoner’s tone.
“Yes, ma’am,” said Robin. “The sex? It was
eh
. I was always suspicious of men who were attracted to me back then, that they had a fat fetish. I didn’t get that vibe from him, though. We were both alone on a big night, found each other, and tried to make the best of it. We did it in the dark. I never got a good look at his apartment, but I wasn’t impressed by what I saw. After he fell asleep, I took a cab home at three in the morning. No point in exchanging numbers. Of course, I didn’t know I was pregnant until weeks later. The idea of tracking him down for a ‘knocked up’ conversation was too hideous to consider. Can you imagine the shock, him coming home from work, tired and stressed, and then seeing a huge—and I mean
huge
—lapse in judgment waiting outside his building with baby news?”
“You chickened out,” said Carla.
“Oh, big time,” said Robin. “It was just easier to go my own way. I didn’t need money from him or to be talked into an abortion. Keeping the baby was a selfish decision. I had nothing else in my life. No husband, no meaningful career. I had means and time, and then I had Stephanie.”
Carla asked, “And which story have you told her about her father?”
That sounded a tad judge-y. Robin said, “The artificial insemination story. And it was artificial, in a way. When I look back on that night, I don’t think about the guy as much as I think about that womanon the phone. The one who said, ‘Don’t you have somewhere to
be
?’ At the time, I despised her. But now, if I could, I’d thank her.”
“Oh. My. God,” said Alicia, her eyes popping.
“What?” asked Robin.
“I am that woman,” said Alicia. “I remember taking a call from a pollster that night and being kind of rude.”
Robin’s jaw unhinged. “Are you fucking
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