space.
I looked out into the audience again, still speaking the lines, but they weren’t just lines anymore. I could see and feel them. They were my words as I pictured a beautiful diamond buried inside of me, waiting to be discovered, just like the diamonds deep in the earth waiting to be found. Waiting to be dusted off, declared to be more than an accidental rock, but beautifully significant.
The lines I had struggled to understand, now meant so much to me as I shared them. I lamented about the wonders of the earth that made us stop and stare in awe, the green plants, the towering trees, the vast oceans of beauty, and for the first time, I realized I too was part of the beauty of Earth.
I looked back at my speckled hand again, but with a look of wonder, the same way Theo looked at me. “And he called this bit of me an atom. And when he wrote the word, I fell in love with it. Atom. Atom. What a beautiful word.”
I stopped, not sure what had just happened and gazed into the audience. Ms. Jones jumped up and applauded. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about people.”
A few of the students started clapping too. The bell sounded, and I ran up the aisle and into the restroom. I splashed water on my warm cheeks and dried them with a paper towel. I stayed there until the halls were clear. I didn’t feel like eating or talking to Wayne. I stepped out into the hall, looked around and then headed for the school’s library and ducked inside. I browsed the fiction section, but all they had were old books, nothing current. Wandering over to the reference section, I spotted the rows of yearbooks. I thumbed through the one from nineteen-eighties—when my parents attended Chesnee High School.
There was my mom, in a long white dress, standing on stage. A sash hung over her shoulder pronouncing her Miss Chesnee High School. At first, my eyes focused on her and the crown on her head, but then I noticed something odd in the smaller picture in the bottom left corner. On the stage, sitting on the floor, with his legs hanging into the orchestra pit was a guy. His face was too small and out of focus to see it clearly, but his build and shape were familiar.
The bell rang, but I didn’t hear it at first. Students in the library were filing out, rushing to class. I put the yearbook back on the shelf and shook my head, “Nah, it couldn’t be him.” I ran out the door and down the hall. Theo was on my mind—that was all. The boy in the picture just happened to be sitting in the exact spot where I first saw Theo.
I needed to shake him out of my brain so I could concentrate on my schoolwork, but he was all I could think about.
I got to the door of my class but froze. Students brushed passed me to enter the room, and I stepped out of the way to let them all by. The bell rang, and the door shut. The only way I’d be admitted now was with a tardy slip from the office.
I leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. I put my face in my hands. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I fought to keep it all inside, but my frustration wouldn’t stay in.
I finally stood up and walked down the hall to the restroom to splash more cold water on my face. I looked in the mirror examining my freckled and now, red splotched face. Today, for the first time, as I spoke those lines, I understood them. They became my words as I became Tillie. I had to believe that hidden for all these years was something beautiful; something of great worth inside of me. I wanted it out badly so I could see it, even if no one else did. Something about the way Theo looked at me made me think he’d seen the beauty in me.
I sucked in a breath, walked out the door and stopped at the water fountain to get a drink. I drank again as I had earlier. The water was refreshing, cooling me, soothing me all over. When I looked up, my eyes fell on the double wooden doors to the auditorium again. I thought of what had happened in there earlier and about Theo. When I thought
I looked out into the audience again, still speaking the lines, but they weren’t just lines anymore. I could see and feel them. They were my words as I pictured a beautiful diamond buried inside of me, waiting to be discovered, just like the diamonds deep in the earth waiting to be found. Waiting to be dusted off, declared to be more than an accidental rock, but beautifully significant.
The lines I had struggled to understand, now meant so much to me as I shared them. I lamented about the wonders of the earth that made us stop and stare in awe, the green plants, the towering trees, the vast oceans of beauty, and for the first time, I realized I too was part of the beauty of Earth.
I looked back at my speckled hand again, but with a look of wonder, the same way Theo looked at me. “And he called this bit of me an atom. And when he wrote the word, I fell in love with it. Atom. Atom. What a beautiful word.”
I stopped, not sure what had just happened and gazed into the audience. Ms. Jones jumped up and applauded. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about people.”
A few of the students started clapping too. The bell sounded, and I ran up the aisle and into the restroom. I splashed water on my warm cheeks and dried them with a paper towel. I stayed there until the halls were clear. I didn’t feel like eating or talking to Wayne. I stepped out into the hall, looked around and then headed for the school’s library and ducked inside. I browsed the fiction section, but all they had were old books, nothing current. Wandering over to the reference section, I spotted the rows of yearbooks. I thumbed through the one from nineteen-eighties—when my parents attended Chesnee High School.
There was my mom, in a long white dress, standing on stage. A sash hung over her shoulder pronouncing her Miss Chesnee High School. At first, my eyes focused on her and the crown on her head, but then I noticed something odd in the smaller picture in the bottom left corner. On the stage, sitting on the floor, with his legs hanging into the orchestra pit was a guy. His face was too small and out of focus to see it clearly, but his build and shape were familiar.
The bell rang, but I didn’t hear it at first. Students in the library were filing out, rushing to class. I put the yearbook back on the shelf and shook my head, “Nah, it couldn’t be him.” I ran out the door and down the hall. Theo was on my mind—that was all. The boy in the picture just happened to be sitting in the exact spot where I first saw Theo.
I needed to shake him out of my brain so I could concentrate on my schoolwork, but he was all I could think about.
I got to the door of my class but froze. Students brushed passed me to enter the room, and I stepped out of the way to let them all by. The bell rang, and the door shut. The only way I’d be admitted now was with a tardy slip from the office.
I leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. I put my face in my hands. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I fought to keep it all inside, but my frustration wouldn’t stay in.
I finally stood up and walked down the hall to the restroom to splash more cold water on my face. I looked in the mirror examining my freckled and now, red splotched face. Today, for the first time, as I spoke those lines, I understood them. They became my words as I became Tillie. I had to believe that hidden for all these years was something beautiful; something of great worth inside of me. I wanted it out badly so I could see it, even if no one else did. Something about the way Theo looked at me made me think he’d seen the beauty in me.
I sucked in a breath, walked out the door and stopped at the water fountain to get a drink. I drank again as I had earlier. The water was refreshing, cooling me, soothing me all over. When I looked up, my eyes fell on the double wooden doors to the auditorium again. I thought of what had happened in there earlier and about Theo. When I thought
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