find our way around in the
darkness?"
I got no response.
"Cu?" I said, then yelled, "Cu!" in a panic.
"What?" he hollered back, his voice echoing around me.
"Nothing," I said. "Just wanted to make sure you hadn't left me alone."
"Don't give me any ideas," Cu said with a chuckle. "But that's the best idea you've had
since I've met you."
I pouted, although he couldn't see me. Instead of trying to make a snide remark, I just
continued to walk along, keeping my pony's reins tight in my hand lest I lose the only link I had
to any living thing.
It only took a couple of minutes to come into the light. Surprised, I stood blinking
behind Fractious the mule, who had halted when we entered the lit chamber. On the walls there
were torches with fake bulbs that were flickering and made to look like firelight. I examined one
with curiosity, wondering just how anyone obtained electricity in this place. It was a bit weird
and unnerving.
I didn't get much time to think on it as Cu gave a huge yank on Fractious the mule's lead
line and the mule got going again. Once more I found myself following in his wake. He seemed
to know this place pretty well for never having been there.
I was really beginning to hate my lot in life as we walked along, finally coming out of
the cavern and back onto the pathway through the mountain. I didn't much like being a follower.
Not that I wanted to be the leader in this caper. It was bad enough that I was most likely going to
be fed to a dragon after said dragon had eaten Fractious the mule as a starter. Then I had a
sudden revelation.
"Uh... So where do we get the sword?"
"At the swordsmith," Cu said in his typical matter-of-fact tone, as if I should really
know all this already.
"Which is where...?"
"Round the bend," Cu said as we rounded the bend.
Around the bend, we came across a small grass hut that looked more like it belonged on
the beach of Tahiti rather than in the mountain passes of God-knew-where. Nemed. Ireland.
Loompaland. I wasn't exactly sure. Either way, this thatched hut did not belong there.
There was a small corral set up beside said hut with a small herd of goats corralled
within. The goats began to bleat, sounding mildly amused when they saw us coming up the
pathway. Their bleating alerted a man about half my size which made him almost twice the size
of Cu. Cu didn't seem to mind the size difference, for he went right up to the dude and extended
a hand.
"Good mornin'," Cu said.
To this day I still hear that said with an Irish accent, for some odd reason since Cu had
no accent to speak of.
"We've come to buy a sword."
"Good thing," the wizened old man said, "because that's all I have to sell."
I eyed the little dude. He looked to be at least a hundred years old, which, in this realm,
meant that he was probably about five hundred years old. But that was only my estimate. He was
about four feet high, with the same shaggy hair that everyone in this midget world seemed to
have, except his was stone gray. He had crinkly eyes and a droopy mustache that looked like it
belonged on the face of an old Chinese man. You know, the ones you see in really bad,
stereotypical kung fu movies? I had significant doubts about his sword making skills. Yet he
looked nice enough.
When he saw me, he frowned and squinted his eyes. "What the hell is this thing you've
brought with you?" His voice was all broken and hoarse but he sounded strong enough.
"Ain't you ever seen a mule before?" Cu said.
"Not the mule." The old man pointed at me. "That tall thing."
"Might as well be a mule," Cu muttered.
I took initiative and stepped forward, holding out my hand, which the old man shook
tentatively. It was like shaking the hand...er, fin...of a wet fish. "I'm Guy Fractious." I waited for
what was becoming the usual remark and was rewarded for my patience.
"What kind of fucked up name is that?"
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "I don't know. I didn't name myself."
"Whatever," the old man said. "Fuck it." He
darkness?"
I got no response.
"Cu?" I said, then yelled, "Cu!" in a panic.
"What?" he hollered back, his voice echoing around me.
"Nothing," I said. "Just wanted to make sure you hadn't left me alone."
"Don't give me any ideas," Cu said with a chuckle. "But that's the best idea you've had
since I've met you."
I pouted, although he couldn't see me. Instead of trying to make a snide remark, I just
continued to walk along, keeping my pony's reins tight in my hand lest I lose the only link I had
to any living thing.
It only took a couple of minutes to come into the light. Surprised, I stood blinking
behind Fractious the mule, who had halted when we entered the lit chamber. On the walls there
were torches with fake bulbs that were flickering and made to look like firelight. I examined one
with curiosity, wondering just how anyone obtained electricity in this place. It was a bit weird
and unnerving.
I didn't get much time to think on it as Cu gave a huge yank on Fractious the mule's lead
line and the mule got going again. Once more I found myself following in his wake. He seemed
to know this place pretty well for never having been there.
I was really beginning to hate my lot in life as we walked along, finally coming out of
the cavern and back onto the pathway through the mountain. I didn't much like being a follower.
Not that I wanted to be the leader in this caper. It was bad enough that I was most likely going to
be fed to a dragon after said dragon had eaten Fractious the mule as a starter. Then I had a
sudden revelation.
"Uh... So where do we get the sword?"
"At the swordsmith," Cu said in his typical matter-of-fact tone, as if I should really
know all this already.
"Which is where...?"
"Round the bend," Cu said as we rounded the bend.
Around the bend, we came across a small grass hut that looked more like it belonged on
the beach of Tahiti rather than in the mountain passes of God-knew-where. Nemed. Ireland.
Loompaland. I wasn't exactly sure. Either way, this thatched hut did not belong there.
There was a small corral set up beside said hut with a small herd of goats corralled
within. The goats began to bleat, sounding mildly amused when they saw us coming up the
pathway. Their bleating alerted a man about half my size which made him almost twice the size
of Cu. Cu didn't seem to mind the size difference, for he went right up to the dude and extended
a hand.
"Good mornin'," Cu said.
To this day I still hear that said with an Irish accent, for some odd reason since Cu had
no accent to speak of.
"We've come to buy a sword."
"Good thing," the wizened old man said, "because that's all I have to sell."
I eyed the little dude. He looked to be at least a hundred years old, which, in this realm,
meant that he was probably about five hundred years old. But that was only my estimate. He was
about four feet high, with the same shaggy hair that everyone in this midget world seemed to
have, except his was stone gray. He had crinkly eyes and a droopy mustache that looked like it
belonged on the face of an old Chinese man. You know, the ones you see in really bad,
stereotypical kung fu movies? I had significant doubts about his sword making skills. Yet he
looked nice enough.
When he saw me, he frowned and squinted his eyes. "What the hell is this thing you've
brought with you?" His voice was all broken and hoarse but he sounded strong enough.
"Ain't you ever seen a mule before?" Cu said.
"Not the mule." The old man pointed at me. "That tall thing."
"Might as well be a mule," Cu muttered.
I took initiative and stepped forward, holding out my hand, which the old man shook
tentatively. It was like shaking the hand...er, fin...of a wet fish. "I'm Guy Fractious." I waited for
what was becoming the usual remark and was rewarded for my patience.
"What kind of fucked up name is that?"
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "I don't know. I didn't name myself."
"Whatever," the old man said. "Fuck it." He
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