Framed and Hung by Alexis Fleming

going.’
    Jake snorted. ‘Yeah, right. My last lady friend told me I was the most cold-hearted bastard she’d ever known. And the least romantic.’
    Simon, who’d been quiet for the last 10 minutes or so, turned a quizzical glance towards Jake. ‘Seriously, does she still do it for you?’
    He thought about telling his brother to butt out and mind his own business. He thought about lying. Then he grimaced. This crew knew him too well. They’d spot a lie at a hundred paces.
    He drew in a deep breath and exhaled on a loud sigh. ‘Okay, you want to know? Yeah, she still pushes my buttons. But she’s not about to relinquish control to anyone and I sure as hell can’t see her going for anything more than a casual liaison.’
    ‘What about you? What do you want?’
    Jake held his hands up. ‘Hey, enough, you fellows. Guys aren’t supposed to discuss stuff like this. It’s just not manly.’
    Nathan and Drew burst out laughing. ‘They do if they happen to have interfering brothers,’ Drew said.
    ‘On that note, I have to leave. I’m going home to my lovely wife and my romantic dinner.’ Nathan dug into his pocket and dropped a couple of bills and a handful of coins onto the bar. ‘Jake, I’ll see you later. Oh, totally off subject, but one final word before I get out of here. A message from Mum.’ He bent close to Jake’s ear. ‘ Portrait . Mean anything to you?’
    A tortured groan built up and Jake let it roll up through his throat. ‘She hasn’t said anything for a while. I thought she’d forgotten all about it. Or at least I hoped she had.’
    Nathan burst out laughing. ‘You have got to be joking. You really thought she’d forget about it? You’re crazy. This has become a family tradition now. Sorry, brother, you don’t have any choice in it. We had to put up with it. Now it’s your turn. I’m out of here.’ Still laughing, he disappeared out of the bar.
    Simon grinned and raised his eyebrows. ‘He’s right, mate. She’s already started on me because I just turned 33 and I only got home last night. But my portrait can’t go up until yours does.’
    Jake shook his head. He thought he’d gotten away with it. Damn it, now he was going to have to find a painter.
    Hang on, you have a painter right on your doorstep .
    Yeah, but a house painter, not a portrait painter, although he vaguely remembered his mum saying something about Zoe selling landscape paintings. He wondered if she did portraits as well.
    But if she wasn’t so great at painting portraits, and he convinced her to have a try and it turned out bad, maybe his mother would give up the idea and just go with a big blown-up photograph instead.
    Damn it, he didn’t have time to sit around getting his mug painted. And it was kind of underhanded to ask Zoe when he was hoping she’d fail. Nah, he couldn’t do it…could he?
    ‘Hey, Jake, you zoned out there, mate.’ Simon poked him in the ribs again. ‘You thinking of the delectable Zoe Chandler again?’
    Jake smiled. ‘I was, as a matter of fact.’
    ‘You really still have a thing for her, don’t you?’
    ‘She makes me laugh at myself. Makes me forget that I’m supposed to act like the old man.’ He shrugged. ‘I kind of like the challenge. She’s sexy as hell, but totally prickly if she thinks you want to take control. And I only just realised that tonight.’
    ‘If she makes you laugh at yourself, she’s alright in my book,’ Drew said. ‘You’re too damn serious at times. You need to lighten up a bit.’
    Jake placed his order for a large steak, jacket potato and a big side salad before turning back to his brothers. ‘I sometimes think I was born old.’
    ‘Nah, Dad just trained you too well. He had a plan for us all. Nathan was to go into medicine. Okay, we have our doctor. Me? The law. You and Simon were to follow him into banking.’
    Simon chuckled. ‘Except I kicked over the traces and rebelled, hence my working in the hospitality industry. I thought he’d