Frosted Midnight: A Christmas Novella by Breena Wilde, !2 NAs of Christmas Page B

heard what the doctor said. There could be complications. Or I could be paralyzed.” I glanced at him, a sudden desire for him to really understand what he was asking. “Four days and I might not see Emma again.” Tears filled my eyes and leaked onto my cheek. I didn’t stop them. “Four more days and I might lose you again. Don’t you get that? At least if I don’t have the surgery I’ll be guaranteed another three months to a year. That’s better. That gives me time.”
    “You’re selfish,” Austin barked and threw the car into drive. He pulled out into traffic.
    I grabbed the dash. “It’s selfish that I want more time with the people I love?” My mom and sisters had come to stay at Austin’s gigantic house while I had my tests done. It’d been great having us all together under one roof. Austin fit right in with the St. James girls. He was sweetly flirty with my mom and brotherly with my sisters.
    And the way he was with Emma? He was the best father. Patient. Funny. Sweet. Emma adored him.
    We spent the mornings together. Then Austin went to work for a few hours and my mom, sisters and I would hang out. Austin would come home. Sometimes he’d take me out, or cook us all a meal. And our lovemaking? If I could imagine the perfect lover, it would be Austin. He was everything I could imagine and more. 
    I didn’t want to let that go. I wouldn’t.
     

     
    When we got home, Austin told my mom and sisters. They talked and argued, but I needed to see Emma. I went into her room. It’d been done in Winnie-the-Pooh, just like her room back in Bandon, but this one was much larger.
    I walked to her crib and peeked inside. She wasn’t asleep, but was staring wide-eyed up at the mobile above her. Her eyes were red and I knew she was tired.
    “Hi, baby-girl. Can’t you sleep?” I wound the button at the top of the mobile. Music played as it twirled in a slow circle.
    She’d recently learned to clap and did it all the time. She clapped now.
    “What, Emma? Are you happy?”
    She looked at me and smiled.
    “You want mommy to hold you?” I reached in and picked her up , then went over to the table and changed her. She had on the cutest pink outfit with Piglet on the front. I pulled on a clean pair of socks, then picked her up. She snuggled into the crook of my neck and I sat down in the rocking chair.
    “Mommy doesn’t know what to do.” I said softly, rubbing her back. “I don’t want to leave you—ever. But if I don’t have the surgery, that’ll happen in a year.” I kissed the top of her head, smelling the delicious smell only babies had. “If I have the surgery, there’s a chance I’ll be completely cancer free and I could live a long time, long enough to see you married and have children of your own.” I leaned my head against the chair, closing my eyes, trying to imagine my life as an old lady. 
    And that’s what made my decision for me. I wanted to be around to be a grandmother. Or at least around long enough to see Austin go gray.
    There was a light creaking sound and I knew someone had come in. I opened my eyes and saw Austin. The worried expression on his face softened.
    “I’ll do it,” I whispered, glancing down at my beautiful baby girl. She’d finally fallen asleep.
    His body relaxed and he heaved a giant breath. “Thank you, Will. I think that’s the best decision.”
    “I know.”
    Austin took Emma from me and laid her in her crib.
    I took his hands and whispered, “There’s a lot to get done in four days.”
    He raised a brow. “Like?”
    I tried to pull him out of Emma’s room. I needed to have a serious talk with him. I wanted to make sure everything was in order where Emma was concerned. I didn’t want him to keep her from my mom and sisters. They were her family. Emma needed them and they needed her. They’d been in her life since the day she was born. My family adored her. I wouldn’t let him keep Emma from them.
    Then there were the monetary issues. Austin’s