Funny Boys by Warren Adler

ankles.
    “A chianti, lady?” the waiter asked when Pep had gone. She nodded, not sure what it was, and watched the men peripherally. They talked in low voices. There were five of them, tough-looking characters, so different in looks from Pep. It struck her as incongruous that he should pick such hard-looking business associates.

    She waited, sipped her chianti and occasionally looked their way. Although she was growing restless, she did not want to show any sign of impatience. From the intense expressions on the men’s faces, this was obviously an important business conference and, she assured herself, that came first. She was actually flattered that he would be taking time out of his business activities for this date.
    As she sat there by herself waiting for Pep, a couple of men came into the restaurant. They were big, crude-looking, swarthy men in dark suits. One of them jabbed the other in the ribs, laughed and came over to where she was sitting.
    “Well, I’m here, cutes,” one of them said. She could smell alcohol on his breath. “What say me and you blow this joint an have a party?”
    At first she ignored him, busying herself with her hand mirror and looking closely at her teeth.
    “Me and Louie here we gonna have one big party, right, Louie?” the first man said. He shoved his bulk on the seat facing Mutzie.
    Still she ignored him, turning toward Pep who was in deep conversation with the men at the table.
    “Aw come on, baby. We is nice guys. Right, Louie?”
    “We gonna treat you just like a chocolate bar,” Louie said, “Lick ya ‘til ya scream fa mercy.”
    “What a pair a knockers,” the other man said, leering. He put his hand out for a squeeze.
    She moved quickly from his touch, the chair squeaking as she moved back. She could see Pep look up, scowl and quickly come over to the table.
    He got behind the man who was sitting down and without saying a single word, grabbed the man by the throat with onehand and lifted him out of the seat. Mutzie was surprised at his enormous strength.
    “He diden mean nothin,” Louie said, glancing at the men at the table from which Pep had come. He made no move to help his hapless friend.
    There was no scene, which surprised Mutzie. The man who had sat down simply rose obediently from the chair and, with Pep holding him by the windpipe, moved docily toward the restaurant door. Pep opened it and brought the man to the street.
    “He’s loint his lesson,” she heard Louie say, but then through the open door, she saw the man fall to his knees, then to the ground. When the man’s head reached the curb, Pep swung out with the point of his shoe and kicked the man directly in the face.
    He started to come back inside, stopped, looked over at the prostrate man then kicked him in the groin. Then he turned and came back into the restaurant.
    Although Mutzie was certainly surprised by Pep’s sudden action, she felt strangely exhilarated by the scene. Pep had stood up for her, protected her. That was something. She was also surprised that she could summon little compassion for the man who had accosted her. They had it coming, she decided. She hated being pawed and insulted by strange men.
    “He won’t bodder ya any more, Mutzie.”
    “Thanks, Pep,” Mutzie said. She felt genuinely grateful.
    “Gonna be soon, kid,” he told her patting her arm. “Coupla minutes more.”
    “Okay with me, Pep,” she said pleasantly.
    It was nearly an hour before the men finished their meeting and Pep came over and sat down. Later, while they were eating their spaghetti, two of the men passed their table as they left the restaurant.

    “This Pep got taste in skirts,” one of the men said. He was thick and squat with eyes that glowed like burning agates. He wore a broad smile but it didn’t seemed to radiate much joy.
    “This is a very pretty goil, Pep,” the other said. He seemed more benign, Italian-looking with a crop of curly black hair.
    “Thank you, Albert,” Pep