Gee Whiz

Gee Whiz by Jane Smiley

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Authors: Jane Smiley
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“And you can’t ask them, because they won’t give you a straight answer.” All three women started tutting.
    After that, we had our usual service, with five hymns before the brothers started sharing the passages in the Bible that they wanted to talk about, then some more hymns, which were my favorite part, because Dad had a good voice and Mom knew how to harmonize. After that, supper, which Sister Lodge and Sister Larrabee had made, chicken stew and boiled potatoes, with cupcakes for dessert. But I could see the talk about Brother Abner go around the room. Two or three people would lean toward one another, heads would bend, lipswould move, heads would shake, then those people would talk to someone else. The sisters would talk to each other, then to their own male relatives, then the men would talk to each other. It would be Dad and Mr. Hollingsworth and Mr. Brooks who would be expected to come up with an idea. I didn’t know what it would be, though.
    At the end of the meal, there was plenty of chicken left, some potatoes, and two cupcakes. Sister Lodge said that she would take the food by Brother Abner’s place and tell him the congregation was thinking of him. Everyone agreed that that was not only a charitable thing to do, but a tactful one. On the way home, Mom and Dad mumbled in the front seat. I could have leaned forward and heard them, but I didn’t. I had no ideas, either.
    It may be that Kyle Gonzalez had seen every movie about the Roman Empire ever made, or at least he had read about them. Whenever Miss Cumberland said any name at all—Antony, Caesar, Cleopatra, Marcus Aurelius, Scipio, Carthage—Kyle would raise his hand and ask if she had seen the movie about that person. His favorites were
Ben-Hur
,
Spartacus
, and something about Hannibal, which was in Italian, which Kyle did not know, but he enjoyed the film anyway. I supposed that he was allowed to stay up all night, anytime he wanted, and watch old movies on TV. All I knew before we studied the Romans in class was the Bible stories and the Shakespeare play
Julius Caesar
, which we had read at the end of seventh grade. I was very fond of that play because we did a reading of it at the Goldmans’ house, and that was when I started to befriends with them. Since we had spent a little too much time on the Greeks, Miss Cumberland’s favorite, we had to rush through the last four hundred years of the Roman Empire before we took our test on Friday. In the spring, we were to go on to medieval Europe.
    My favorite thing about the Roman Empire was that it got as far as England, which Miss Cumberland said was as far away from Rome as we were from Colorado Springs, which might not seem very far, but try walking, which is what the Roman soldiers had to do. Miss Cumberland was very fond of Hadrian, who was one of the good emperors and who visited England and built a wall there that still stands. He also visited Egypt and Jerusalem. He liked to take architects with him and have buildings and temples built. She showed us a slide show of some of the buildings, as well as of statues of Hadrian, and she also said that a French writer had written a book called
Memoirs of Hadrian
. I was sure Kyle would do an extra-credit report on it by Friday. We were looking forward to Christmas vacation. Once the tests were over Friday, we would have eighteen days. I did not expect to do well on my test, but thanks to being friends with Sophia, who didn’t mind explaining things, I had gotten an A on the Egyptians, an A-minus on the Sumerians, a B-plus on the early Greeks, and an A on the classical Greeks. These grades averaged out to an A-minus, so a C on the Romans would only take me down to a B-plus for the whole semester. A B-plus would get past Dad, no problem. However, the week was hard work, with scads of homework, more than I could do on the way home on the bus. Mom helped me by always riding Nobby and Lincoln. Dad rode OhMy and Marcus, and I let Blue slide a little. I

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