listen to this one second longer. I tried to let you get it out of your system once and for all, but you just don’t know when to stop. Now change the topic or I’m finished talking.”
“I’m not saying it to hurt you, Emerald.” The old woman’s tone softened. “I’m saying it because I’m mad that she took advantage of my niece, even during her last seconds on this Earth, and nobody gave me a chance to grieve, too!” Sugar’s voice shook with rage and pain. “Nobody asked me how I felt about it! Nobody cared that I felt a special kinda rage towards Celine, ’cause she was my friend! I’ve never forgiven myself for this, either. I set my brother up with her, Emerald… I’m the reason his life was ruined. I’m the reason for it all.”
Emerald paused and reflected over the notion as Sugar sobbed on the other end of the line.
“I… I never knew that. I mean, I was aware you all knew each other, but I didn’t know you got them together. Matter of fact, I asked Daddy how he’d met Mama, and he said it happened at a picnic.”
“He did… but I made him walk up to her. James used to be kinda shy around girls, but he liked Celine. Every time she come around the house, he would get to smilin’. I didn’t care for Celine too much at that point even though she was still my friend at the time, but that was the only person James seemed to have an interest in. Back then, I thought maybe they’d do each other some good, rub off on one another. Celine would make James less shy, help him laugh and live a little. And James would show Celine to have some respect, be grateful… find out how a good man acted… one that didn’t use her for sex or expect her to look like a doll all the time. I had all these silly fantasies in my head, but just as my great grandson’s song goes, ‘You can’t turn a Hoe into a Housewife.’ What band did that song? They shoulda played that at her funeral, amen.”
“Sugar! You’re starting again.”
“I’m sorry baby, I am, but you aren’t the only one upset about the whole damn thing. James been dead two years now, and I woke up today and looked at my calendar…” Don’t say it… I already know, and I was hoping you forgot… but now it makes sense why you’ve been going off like this!
“Today is his birthday, and I called you this mornin’ because I knew you’d remember it too, and maybe…” Emerald’s heart broke a little as she heard the woman sniffling, fighting back more tears. “I thought just maybe we could lean on one another, help each other out today. I’m in bad shape, Emerald… I’m sorry for the things I’ve said in anger this mornin’, but I’m hurtin’ so bad, baby. I never forgave myself for pushing him into the arms of your mother… but then, of course, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have you …”
Emerald ran her knuckle against her cheek, wiping away a tear that threatened to make it down to her chin.
“I got your five cousins, baby, nothin’ but boys. You’re the closest thang to a little girl I ever had, and it made you all the more special to me and your Uncle Kirby. Even after all of these years, I’m protective of you, Emerald. Last thing in this whole world I’d want to do is drive you into the arms of pain, but I ain’t got nobody to talk to. Your Uncle Kirby don’t listen to me; all he wanna do is hang down there at that bar, watch TV, or sleep. My boys don’t wanna hear none of this neither. You also say you don’t want to hear no part of it, but when is someone going to hear me out and listen? I’m bashing your mama, and I suppose that ain’t right but every time I tried to tell you how I felt, no matter how bad it sounded, I’d stop midway or you’d cut me off. I just got so much pent up inside… so much…”
“Sugar, neither I nor all the King’s Horsemen could ever stop you from saying anything and everything you want to say.” The old woman burst into a laugh until it slowed and simmered, leaving a
“I’m not saying it to hurt you, Emerald.” The old woman’s tone softened. “I’m saying it because I’m mad that she took advantage of my niece, even during her last seconds on this Earth, and nobody gave me a chance to grieve, too!” Sugar’s voice shook with rage and pain. “Nobody asked me how I felt about it! Nobody cared that I felt a special kinda rage towards Celine, ’cause she was my friend! I’ve never forgiven myself for this, either. I set my brother up with her, Emerald… I’m the reason his life was ruined. I’m the reason for it all.”
Emerald paused and reflected over the notion as Sugar sobbed on the other end of the line.
“I… I never knew that. I mean, I was aware you all knew each other, but I didn’t know you got them together. Matter of fact, I asked Daddy how he’d met Mama, and he said it happened at a picnic.”
“He did… but I made him walk up to her. James used to be kinda shy around girls, but he liked Celine. Every time she come around the house, he would get to smilin’. I didn’t care for Celine too much at that point even though she was still my friend at the time, but that was the only person James seemed to have an interest in. Back then, I thought maybe they’d do each other some good, rub off on one another. Celine would make James less shy, help him laugh and live a little. And James would show Celine to have some respect, be grateful… find out how a good man acted… one that didn’t use her for sex or expect her to look like a doll all the time. I had all these silly fantasies in my head, but just as my great grandson’s song goes, ‘You can’t turn a Hoe into a Housewife.’ What band did that song? They shoulda played that at her funeral, amen.”
“Sugar! You’re starting again.”
“I’m sorry baby, I am, but you aren’t the only one upset about the whole damn thing. James been dead two years now, and I woke up today and looked at my calendar…” Don’t say it… I already know, and I was hoping you forgot… but now it makes sense why you’ve been going off like this!
“Today is his birthday, and I called you this mornin’ because I knew you’d remember it too, and maybe…” Emerald’s heart broke a little as she heard the woman sniffling, fighting back more tears. “I thought just maybe we could lean on one another, help each other out today. I’m in bad shape, Emerald… I’m sorry for the things I’ve said in anger this mornin’, but I’m hurtin’ so bad, baby. I never forgave myself for pushing him into the arms of your mother… but then, of course, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have you …”
Emerald ran her knuckle against her cheek, wiping away a tear that threatened to make it down to her chin.
“I got your five cousins, baby, nothin’ but boys. You’re the closest thang to a little girl I ever had, and it made you all the more special to me and your Uncle Kirby. Even after all of these years, I’m protective of you, Emerald. Last thing in this whole world I’d want to do is drive you into the arms of pain, but I ain’t got nobody to talk to. Your Uncle Kirby don’t listen to me; all he wanna do is hang down there at that bar, watch TV, or sleep. My boys don’t wanna hear none of this neither. You also say you don’t want to hear no part of it, but when is someone going to hear me out and listen? I’m bashing your mama, and I suppose that ain’t right but every time I tried to tell you how I felt, no matter how bad it sounded, I’d stop midway or you’d cut me off. I just got so much pent up inside… so much…”
“Sugar, neither I nor all the King’s Horsemen could ever stop you from saying anything and everything you want to say.” The old woman burst into a laugh until it slowed and simmered, leaving a
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