Ghostbusters The Return by Sholly Fisch

They don't trust them."

    Venkman's brain was racing so fast that he was having trouble keeping up with it. It wasn't a question that he had ever expected to hear. All his life, his approach to the world had been an ongoing series of hustles, scams, and dodges seeing just how much he could get away with instead of really working at anything. Even when he was six years old and subcontracting his paper route to the neighborhood kids, Venkman was always looking for an angle.

    In fact, that's what had drawn him toward parapsychology in the first place. It was all so nebulous that universities would give him a paycheck without him actually having to deliver anything of substance. And when they did finally catch on and the cash cow went off to pasture, he convinced Ray and Egon to start up Ghostbusters. Of course, at the time, he never suspected that they'd actually wind up catching ghosts - or risking their lives doing it. But even with all the risks, it still beat working a "real" job.

    And now these people were asking him whether he wanted to take the reins of one of the largest and most prominent cities in the world? Whether he wanted to spend his days managing the million different tasks that made the city run? Whether he wanted to hold the final sign-off on the police, the civil services, and city contractors?

    This was...

    It was...

    It could be...

    ...the greatest scam on Earth!

    Forget about the nice house , he thought. Forget the endless stream of free dinners and all the famous rich people coming to you, begging for favors. Forget about never having to pay attention to parking laws or traffic lights. Just imagine what you could do with a gazilliondollar city budget - every year!

    Venkrnan left the stairs to greet the group with a broad smile. "Gentlemen," he said, "You've got yourselves a candidate."

    Milken ignored the slime as he grasped Venkman's hand warmly in both of his own. "Excellent!" he said. "Welcome aboard. I foresee great things in our future."

    "Gary, you have no idea."

    Janine and Louis stared at each other in disbelief. "Mayor Venkman?" said Louis.

    "I wonder if there's still time to move to Jersey," said Janine.

    The politicians in the room seemed much more enthusiastic. Unlike Milken, the rest of his team found it harder to forget about the slime. But despite some frowns and wincing, there were hearty handshakes all around.

    "Now. don't worry," Milken told him. "I recognize that your experience running a city government is. .shall we say, limited. That's why we're going to pair you up with a deputy mayor who knows more about the ins and outs of this city than any man alive." He pulled over a small, balding man with wire-rimmed glasses and a combover. "Sid here served as auditor, city planner, and ombudsman in three separate administrations. He'll be there by your side, every step of the way."

    For the second time that day, Venkman was speechless. Auditor? Ombudsman? All the dozens of schemes that had flooded his mind in the past ten seconds were evaporating just as quickly.

    But he recovered fast. There might still be a way out of this.

    Venkman threw a slimy arm around Milken and steered him away from the crowd. "Y'know, Gary," he said, "I'm  sure Sid's great. He seems very talented, and that hairdo - well, what can I say? It's a chick magnet. But if you want to build this campaign as an alternative to the usual politicians and party line, maybe it would be better to go with someone who has less experience."

    Milken's eyes narrowed with interest. "What would you suggest?"

    "Someone fresh - unsullied by the machinations of the political machine. Someone who could spend time focusing on this big, beautiful city instead of all the nitty-gritty little details. Someone who wouldn't get thrown by new ideas, just because they're not the way things have always been done."

    "Hey, what's going on? Winston had a puzzled look as he came back up from the basement.

    "Someone," Venkman said,