them. They seemed so confident and relaxed. They made me feel like a kid who’d been allowed to stay up with the grown-ups for a special treat.
Joe drained his bottle for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. ‘Right, my round again.’
‘No, I’ll get this one,’ I said, praying that the twenty-pound note in my purse would cover it. I stood up and hitched my bag on to my shoulder, but Joe pulled me back down.
‘No, I’ll get them,’ he insisted, and I swear I heard one of the girls – a pretty one with blonde hair in a sharp bob – make some remark about ID.
By the time Joe got back with the drinks the girls had joined in with the boys’ conversation. It seemed Bob Girl was called Lara or Mara or something, and the other one – lip gloss and black spiky hair – was Rosie. The conversation moved on to uni gossip and I tuned out. The boys made the odd attempt to include me, but there was no point. I had nothing to bring. I looked around the room and tried not to look bored.
‘Uh, Joe?’ said Mimi suddenly, eyeing me coolly. ‘Think it might be about time to take your little friend home? Looks like it’s past her bedtime?’
Mortification. The girls laughed and even Rav and Ben sniggered into their pint glasses. I pretended not to have heard and waited for Joe to defend me. But instead he plonked his arm heavily across my shoulders and leant over to clink drinks with Mimi, dragging me forward awkwardly.
‘Don’t worry, Meems, she’s got a note from her mum,’ he said, snorting with laughter. ‘Right, babe?’ and he gave me a perfunctory squeeze before removing his arm so he could thump his chest and burp at the same time.
I somehow managed to dredge up a smile. ‘Yeah. Special dispensation for tidying my room.’ As retorts go, I was quite pleased with that one, but no one heard. They were either laughing at Joe’s comment or had already gone back to their own conversations.
I took a slow breath and blinked to get rid of the tears pricking my eyes.
Don’t look upset, just ignore it. Don’t look upset, just ignore it.
I stole a glance at the others. Ben caught my eye. He gave me a slow wink and slightly raised his glass. I smiled at him gratefully, but it just made me feel more lonely. Dunno how it’s possible to feel lonely in a crowded pub sitting next to a boy who’s spent the best part of the day with one or more parts of his anatomy inside you, but there you go.
The next couple of hours went agonizingly slowly.I almost did an air-punch when last orders were called, but it was another half an hour before we finally left, and then we just ambled along the streets, the girls lurching all over the place and the boys taking it in turns to shove each other into the road.
I pulled Joe’s sleeve to get his attention. ‘Where are we going?’
He looked at me with drunken unfocused eyes. I hate that. ‘Dunno, babe,’ he slurred. God, he was really pissed. And I so wasn’t loving this ‘babe’ thing. I didn’t mind it from my friends, but from Joe it sounded boorish. Like Adam.
I gave up and trotted along behind them. I thought about going back to Joe’s, but I didn’t have a key. Or know how to get there. Or know where we were.
Nice work, Sarah
, I thought.
Empowering stuff.
At one point we stopped at a kebab shop so everyone except me could spend approximately twenty-seven years choosing what to order. Then even slower progress was made, until eventually we passed Warren Street Tube station (no use to me: it was closed) and Rosie shouted, ‘Hey, let’s go to Henrik’s!’ So we took a detour to one of their uni’s halls of residence, where another fun-packed hour was spent squashed into this Henrik’s room, sitting on his bed while the girls tried to persuade him to come out. He was so obviously not up for it that I’d have feltsorry for him if I hadn’t felt so sorry for myself. I spent the hour looking around and wondering what it’d be like to go to uni here.
It
Joe drained his bottle for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. ‘Right, my round again.’
‘No, I’ll get this one,’ I said, praying that the twenty-pound note in my purse would cover it. I stood up and hitched my bag on to my shoulder, but Joe pulled me back down.
‘No, I’ll get them,’ he insisted, and I swear I heard one of the girls – a pretty one with blonde hair in a sharp bob – make some remark about ID.
By the time Joe got back with the drinks the girls had joined in with the boys’ conversation. It seemed Bob Girl was called Lara or Mara or something, and the other one – lip gloss and black spiky hair – was Rosie. The conversation moved on to uni gossip and I tuned out. The boys made the odd attempt to include me, but there was no point. I had nothing to bring. I looked around the room and tried not to look bored.
‘Uh, Joe?’ said Mimi suddenly, eyeing me coolly. ‘Think it might be about time to take your little friend home? Looks like it’s past her bedtime?’
Mortification. The girls laughed and even Rav and Ben sniggered into their pint glasses. I pretended not to have heard and waited for Joe to defend me. But instead he plonked his arm heavily across my shoulders and leant over to clink drinks with Mimi, dragging me forward awkwardly.
‘Don’t worry, Meems, she’s got a note from her mum,’ he said, snorting with laughter. ‘Right, babe?’ and he gave me a perfunctory squeeze before removing his arm so he could thump his chest and burp at the same time.
I somehow managed to dredge up a smile. ‘Yeah. Special dispensation for tidying my room.’ As retorts go, I was quite pleased with that one, but no one heard. They were either laughing at Joe’s comment or had already gone back to their own conversations.
I took a slow breath and blinked to get rid of the tears pricking my eyes.
Don’t look upset, just ignore it. Don’t look upset, just ignore it.
I stole a glance at the others. Ben caught my eye. He gave me a slow wink and slightly raised his glass. I smiled at him gratefully, but it just made me feel more lonely. Dunno how it’s possible to feel lonely in a crowded pub sitting next to a boy who’s spent the best part of the day with one or more parts of his anatomy inside you, but there you go.
The next couple of hours went agonizingly slowly.I almost did an air-punch when last orders were called, but it was another half an hour before we finally left, and then we just ambled along the streets, the girls lurching all over the place and the boys taking it in turns to shove each other into the road.
I pulled Joe’s sleeve to get his attention. ‘Where are we going?’
He looked at me with drunken unfocused eyes. I hate that. ‘Dunno, babe,’ he slurred. God, he was really pissed. And I so wasn’t loving this ‘babe’ thing. I didn’t mind it from my friends, but from Joe it sounded boorish. Like Adam.
I gave up and trotted along behind them. I thought about going back to Joe’s, but I didn’t have a key. Or know how to get there. Or know where we were.
Nice work, Sarah
, I thought.
Empowering stuff.
At one point we stopped at a kebab shop so everyone except me could spend approximately twenty-seven years choosing what to order. Then even slower progress was made, until eventually we passed Warren Street Tube station (no use to me: it was closed) and Rosie shouted, ‘Hey, let’s go to Henrik’s!’ So we took a detour to one of their uni’s halls of residence, where another fun-packed hour was spent squashed into this Henrik’s room, sitting on his bed while the girls tried to persuade him to come out. He was so obviously not up for it that I’d have feltsorry for him if I hadn’t felt so sorry for myself. I spent the hour looking around and wondering what it’d be like to go to uni here.
It
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