genuinely does frown as she looks at me. “But what are you doing home so early? We weren’t expecting you for hours yet.” She looks at Megan, and I can tell she’s trying not to blurt out another question as to why Megan is here with me after everything that happened with Girl Online .
I can’t help it—I break down into shaky tears as I describemy panic attack and the sense of claustrophobia in the crowd, and eventually Megan takes over, filling in the gaps where I don’t remember. When she’s finished, Dad flicks on the lights and potters off to make a cup of tea. Before I know it, I’m feeling much better, and a new feeling starts to dominate my nervous system. It’s no longer anxiety; it’s guilt. Even though I had no phone, no wallet, and no way of leaving him a note or getting a message to him, I still know that Noah will go crazy with worry when he finds out I left without telling him.
“I’m just going to nip upstairs and let Noah know I’ve come home,” I say.
Mum nods, then she smiles at Megan. “How are your parents, sweetheart? It’s so nice to see you again . . .” Leaving Mum to catch up with Megan, I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
As soon as I’ve written a direct message to Noah (he’s far more likely to check Twitter than his email), I also take a moment to open up my blog. Megan’s apparent change of heart has been playing on my mind, and I know who I want to tell.
25 June
Can You Forgive and Forget?
I know it’s my second post today, but it feels like the longest day ever! So much has happened.
Do you remember a while back when I wrote about drifting apart from a friend? And then that “friend” turned out to be the very person who sold me out to the media? (I know—who needs enemies when you have friends like that, right?)
Well, she actually apologized.
Can you believe it? I never thought I would see the day.
She helped me out when I thought no one would, and was really nice to me. And, even though I kept looking for an ulterior motive, she didn’t seem to have one.
She was just nice.
She was my old friend again.
It felt good to have her there to talk to. Is that weird? Is it even possible to forgive something so big? Can I ever forget what she did to me?
She even said she had been jealous of me. How can that be right? I guess we don’t always know what other people are thinking, even if they seem to have everything figured out.
Wiki, I know you will hate this when you find out.
But I think I want to forgive her. I can’t throw away that many years of friendship so easily . . .
Anyway, I will keep you posted.
Girl Offline . . . never going online xxx
• • •
I change out of my dress and into my most comfortable onesie, then head back downstairs. Mum and Dad switch the film back on, so Megan and I curl up on the sofa to watch as well.
It’s not very long until there’s a frantic knock on the door. Dad goes to open it and Noah runs into the room.
“Penny, thank god!” Noah’s face is as white as a sheet. Seeing him wrenches the knot in my stomach. He rushes over and gives me a hug. “What the heck happened? I came out after my set to find you, and Elliot said he hadn’t seen you at all. When I saw all your stuff in the dressing room, I was so worried about you. I called you about a bajillion times . . .”
“I’m so sorry, Noah. I can’t believe I missed your set. I was so excited it just completely went out of my head toeven check that I had my ticket with me. Then someone in the crowd knocked my phone out of my hand and it all became way too much for me. Thankfully Megan was there to help me out.”
“I wish it could have been me. If I’d known what was going on . . .”
“You would have leapt off the stage?” I say, laughing. “There was nothing you could do. Besides, it’s OK now.” He hands me back everything I left backstage and I smile gratefully. Now it’s only my phone that is
I can’t help it—I break down into shaky tears as I describemy panic attack and the sense of claustrophobia in the crowd, and eventually Megan takes over, filling in the gaps where I don’t remember. When she’s finished, Dad flicks on the lights and potters off to make a cup of tea. Before I know it, I’m feeling much better, and a new feeling starts to dominate my nervous system. It’s no longer anxiety; it’s guilt. Even though I had no phone, no wallet, and no way of leaving him a note or getting a message to him, I still know that Noah will go crazy with worry when he finds out I left without telling him.
“I’m just going to nip upstairs and let Noah know I’ve come home,” I say.
Mum nods, then she smiles at Megan. “How are your parents, sweetheart? It’s so nice to see you again . . .” Leaving Mum to catch up with Megan, I run up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
As soon as I’ve written a direct message to Noah (he’s far more likely to check Twitter than his email), I also take a moment to open up my blog. Megan’s apparent change of heart has been playing on my mind, and I know who I want to tell.
25 June
Can You Forgive and Forget?
I know it’s my second post today, but it feels like the longest day ever! So much has happened.
Do you remember a while back when I wrote about drifting apart from a friend? And then that “friend” turned out to be the very person who sold me out to the media? (I know—who needs enemies when you have friends like that, right?)
Well, she actually apologized.
Can you believe it? I never thought I would see the day.
She helped me out when I thought no one would, and was really nice to me. And, even though I kept looking for an ulterior motive, she didn’t seem to have one.
She was just nice.
She was my old friend again.
It felt good to have her there to talk to. Is that weird? Is it even possible to forgive something so big? Can I ever forget what she did to me?
She even said she had been jealous of me. How can that be right? I guess we don’t always know what other people are thinking, even if they seem to have everything figured out.
Wiki, I know you will hate this when you find out.
But I think I want to forgive her. I can’t throw away that many years of friendship so easily . . .
Anyway, I will keep you posted.
Girl Offline . . . never going online xxx
• • •
I change out of my dress and into my most comfortable onesie, then head back downstairs. Mum and Dad switch the film back on, so Megan and I curl up on the sofa to watch as well.
It’s not very long until there’s a frantic knock on the door. Dad goes to open it and Noah runs into the room.
“Penny, thank god!” Noah’s face is as white as a sheet. Seeing him wrenches the knot in my stomach. He rushes over and gives me a hug. “What the heck happened? I came out after my set to find you, and Elliot said he hadn’t seen you at all. When I saw all your stuff in the dressing room, I was so worried about you. I called you about a bajillion times . . .”
“I’m so sorry, Noah. I can’t believe I missed your set. I was so excited it just completely went out of my head toeven check that I had my ticket with me. Then someone in the crowd knocked my phone out of my hand and it all became way too much for me. Thankfully Megan was there to help me out.”
“I wish it could have been me. If I’d known what was going on . . .”
“You would have leapt off the stage?” I say, laughing. “There was nothing you could do. Besides, it’s OK now.” He hands me back everything I left backstage and I smile gratefully. Now it’s only my phone that is
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